The Nothing I've Become
by DragonheartRAB
Summary: With no opera house and no mother, Meg has no choice but to become a whore, a job that she can't stand. One night, all resistance breaks and she sets out to find the man who ruined her life, not knowing that hate can turn to love. EM
1. Woman of the Streets

**Sorry I posted this instead of chapter10 of Two Hearts Made Whole.The epilouge is taking so long,and i am having the worst writer's block at the very end. My beta reader is helping me, but since we are both in the midst of examweek, iI probably won'thave it up til tuesday.I started this story to try to get some ideas going. The whole story is inMeg's POV, ithink. This could change in later chapters but we will see. I hope u guys like this.**

_**The Nothing I've Become**_

_1. Woman of the Streets_

I often wondered how my life ever amounted to this. It only seems like yesterday that I was a prima ballerina in the Opera Populaire, courted by charming suitors and dancing my heart out. But it is all gone. I have nothing. My profession is nothing. My home is nothing. My life is nothing.

Everything had been destroyed months ago. I had heard about the Phantom of the Opera. I often found my mother in possession of one of his many notes. I had seen what he had done. I'd even seen his home. The curiosity I had towards this strange masked man who Christine once called an angel has turned hatred. It was all his fault. He is the reason that the opera house, the only home that I had ever known, is a mere ruin of the splendor it used to be. It is he who forced me into the profession that I must adhere to. It is he who killed my mother. No, I shouldn't entirely say that he killed her, but he led to her demise. It was not long after the opera house was ruined that we were forced to rummage through the slums of Paris, barely able to make it through. That, and the stress of the "strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera" had been too much for her poor heart and my mother could not hold out any longer. She died a few months ago. So, in a way, he did kill her. It is because of that man, or phantom, whatever he may be, that my life amounts to nothing.

Someone was knocking at the door. I got up from my lumpy old bed to see who it was. It was my fair-weathered friend and fellow whore Camille, who had also been a member of the corps de ballet. Yes, as much as I had to admit it, this is what the Phantom condemned me to; a life in prostitution along with the other ballet rats. I doubt that they had a problem finding work; most ballerinas provided their services almost as much as a regular working girl. My poor mother would weep if she could see me. I had planned to maintain my virginity until I found someone worthy enough to marry, like the good, honest, Catholic girl I was, that I wish I still could be. But what choice did I have there? I was only a poor, orphaned dancer of eighteen. Now was one of the times in my life that I wished that I would have taken more interest in suitors. I probably wouldn't have ended up as a wife, but even being a mistress to anyone right now would be better than this. Despite the brutal nights of sharing a bed with a stranger, I still got decent food and a roof over my head.

"Meg, you better get ready. The customers will be coming soon." She closed the door. I was glad to be alone again. It wasn't like I hated Camille, but it was no where near the sisterhood that I had shared with Christine. The only reason that I hung around Camille was that she was one of the few more experienced whores whowasnd to me and usually helped me gain some less brutal customers, butthat didn't stop her from saving therich ones that came by for herself.

I looked out the window. To my dismay, night was drawing near. Before I became one of Madame Boureigh's girls, I would have enjoyed looking at the starry sky, probably from the roof of the opera house. But now, it only meant hell. I sat down at my vanity and began painting myself with the traditional makeup of a prostitute, though I did not always wear as much eye makeup as most did. How ironic, a whore still trying to be modest. I changed from a drab day dress into the usual alluring outfit I wore to work. A wave of nausea swept over me. I was definitely not in the mood to do this again, but there was no choice. The last timeI had to sleep with someone, I had passed out. That incident had earned me a few nights off, but now I had to make up for it. Hesitantly, I dragged myself down the stairs onto the streets to pick up some customers.

The whole environment I forced myself to live in each night was sickening. Already some of my colleges were flirting at men passing by and a few were leaving to provide their services. Camille and I stood near the door and I tried my best to be flirtatious, even if I felt sick. A rather scraggly but somewhat decent looking man came up to Camille, asking for a good lady of the evening that he could have a go with. He seemed okay, which said a lot for a man looking for a girl to spend the night with. Of course, Camille handed me over to him.

" 'Ow much'll it be, miss," he said in a rather broken accent.

"Fifteen francs for a go and thirty for the night," Camille replied. I stood there like a pig before the butcher, being the good little hooker I was. This was so degrading. _'I'm worth more far more than that!'_ I hated the way my body was sold as if I was a mere object, but I knew better than to speak out. I had to go along with this sale if I was to eat dinner tomorrow.

That man paid thirty francs. _'Great. Now I have to spend a whole night with him.'_ I hated it when they wanted me for a whole night. Not only did that mean I would not be able to return to my safe bed that night, but I would have to give into a man's lust _multiple_ times, and worst of all, I had to pretend to enjoy it. The man tugged my arm, making me lose my balance for a moment before taking me down a dark ally and into a run-down inn. _'Oh God, can I really do this again?' _He closed the door and I laid down on the bed, assuming my usual provacative position. He took off his shirt and another wave of nausea crashed down on me. He was slightly chubby and very hairy with greasy skin. The thought of him on top of me just made me want to vomit until I passed out.

Slowly he made his way over to the bed, attempting to be seductive. If I hadn't felt so sick, I probably would have laughed. He sat down, leaned over me, and began pulling away my dress and the laces of my corset. My mind was screaming for release, begging me to make him stop, but I needed this money. But still, my beaten body could not take this torture again. My top was gone and instantly he greedily sought for my breasts. My mind screamed even louder, pleading to make it stop. I couldn't take it! _'Oh God please help me!' _Everything was so hot. Not the pleasant heat that one is supposed to feel when engaging in these activities, but feverishly hot, like my lungs were on fire. It was suffocating. I couldn't breathe! My mind was crying out in ear-spliting screams.

"No. No, dear God! Please!" I moaned, only making the assualts worse. "Stop! Please, have mercy! STOP!"

"Listen pet, I paid for a whole night and that's what I'll get!"

Oh God, there had to be a way to stop this nightmare. My eyes frantically searched the room for anything to get him off, but nothing was in my reach. So, I decided to be resourcefull and I did the only thing I could; deliver a powerful kick right to his crotch. The bastard howled in pain and rolled off the bed onto the floor. I was quite pleased with myself. Apparently I had not lost all ofmy gracefrom my days as a ballerina.

"Why you insufferable little BITCH!" He lunged for me, grabbing at me and trying to get revenge. My heart was pounding with fear. He would be ten times worse if I didn't stop him. I grabbed a nearby candle holder and whacked him over the head as hard as I could. He gave me a look of sheer loathing mefore collapsing into an unconsious heap.

I stood there, transfixed by the sight before me. I couldn't believe I really did that. I never even knew I had the courage to do that. Well, at least he was out of the way, until I realized that I had just subjected myself to a number of new problems. Madame Bourais would surely find out about this, she always finds out. The old hag would probably flog me at least for sure. She would probably make me work double time as well. How on earth would I be able to cope with even more men than I already had to? Oh God, what have I done? I had to get away, far away. I had no idea how on earth I would provide for myself, but I had to do something, anything to get away from that whorehouse. I thought for a moment. They wouldn't be expecting me back until morning. That should give me time for a fair head start. I picked up my cloathes and hastily dressed. I would have to be quick. I started running.

I made my way through the city, but with each step, I only became more exhausted. My strength was so low that I would probably pass out before I got out of the city. There had to be a place I could rest, somewhere where I could stay for at least one night. My gaze turned to across the street to the shell of the Opera Populaire. _My home!_ The sight of the broken down building brought tears to my eyes. Surely there was no one there,... but what if the opera ghost had returned? No, I would not fear him. If he was there, I would kill that filthy murderer with my bare hands and not have a single regret about it. It was his fault that I was standing where I was right now. I crossed the street, looking fondly upon my real home. It was going to be quite a challenge getting in. The doors were barred and any windows were boarded up. I walked around to the Rue Scribe entrance. Near the corner there was a small window with some loose boards. Perhaps I could get through there. With a few good tugs I was able to make a whole wide enough for me to fit in. I hadn't been to this area very often. It was the entrance to the cellars. Only stable boys and stage hands came around here. I wondered where they led. I blindly followed the passages, feeling the air around me get colder. I needed to rest soon. I was so tired and it was getting hard to breath. I was starting to feel dizzy and my throat burned. I looked ahead of me. There was light dancing on the walls. _The lake!_ Thank God! I was so thirsty. I kneeled down and greedily splashed water into my mouth. It tasted funny, but I was so thristy that I didn't care. I let it go all over my face, trying to bring myself out of the nausea I felt. That felt so much better. I sat there beside the lake, looking at my reflection. I was such a mess, with tousled hair and makeup smudged all over my face. The sight of myself made me feel so low. A tear trickled down my cheek.

"Oh mother, please forgive me!" I cried out. I was so miserable, so disgusted with what I had become. I could not help but weep."I am so sorry. Please, save me! Get me away from here! I don't want to be a whore! I don't want any of this! Please God, if you have any mercy, take me now! Just someone... anyone... save me!" I felt like everything was crashing down on me all at once and i couldn't stop muself from breaking down.Damn the Phantom! Damn the man who made me suffer! DAMN HIM TO AN ETERNITY IN HELL! My mother had once said that I should never wish such a fate to anyone, but he deserved it. He deserved to suffer just as much as I had. It was there and then I made up my mind. I would make him know what I had went through. I would be the one to make him suffer. I, innocent, little Meg Giry, would make sure that the bastard who killed my mother, my dreams, and sent me into prostitution would know of all the pain and anguish that I had to deal with. There was hell to pay, and I would not leave Paris until my revenge was complete.

But revenge was going to have to wait. I was so exhausted that I was barely able to stay awake. I laid down on the hard, cold stone before closing my eyes and giving into unconciousness.

**Soooo, what did you think? Yes, I know I'm being extremely mean to Meg, but I'm just evil like that. Don't worry, Erik will come along in the next chapter. Let me know if this is any good. Please review!**


	2. Track Down This Murderer

**THANK YOU REVIEWERS! Moonjava, LadyJaye, Nameless Waif, Arabella Minerva, paulinecampbelljones, and alicia, you guys always make my day! Sorry if this chapter isn't all that great. I kinda threw it together, but I hope it's okay. Just to warn you, I do have a general sense of where this thing will be going, but a little bit of the stuff in the middle is still being decided, but I think I know what I'm doing so don't worry, but do feel free to leave me ideas incase I getwriter's block. **

**I keep forgetting these: DISCLAIMER:don't own Phantom.**

_2. Track Down this Murderer_

Something was kicking me in the back. "Come on Camille, just a few more minutes," I moaned, expecting to find her bugging me. As someone stirred me from a very uncomfortable sleep, I realized that I was not in my usual bed, or in any bed for that matter. It was the same hard, cold stone floor from last night. I stirred and instantly my entire body ached. I_ almost_ wished that I was lying in a man's bed.

"Oh, you're alive," a sardonic, cold voice said. I had heard that voice before, rumbling like thunder on the memorable night of Carlotta's "co-ack". _Was it really him?_ I frantically rolled over, finding a tall, thin man in black dress clothes and a white mask covering half of his face. _That mask!_ It was an exact replica of the one I had found, that I still had in my possession. _The opera ghost! _I scrambled to my feet, standing before the man I loathed so well. I felt sheer, burning hatred coursing through my body. I was ready to kill.

"You!" I growled. Never before had I felt such a lust for spilling blood. Perhaps this was what the man before me had felt before he killed Buquet and Piangi. Such a thought shook me for a moment. Was I really going to lower myself to _his_ level?

"Well, well, I never would have imagined that innocent Little Meg would lower herself _this_ far. Your mother certainly wouldn't have approved," he mocked.

A new wave of hatred surged through me. I didn't care about killing anymore. He had no right to mock me for the position _he_ put me in. "How DARE you say that! DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER, YOU BASTARD!" I lunged for him, slapping his unmasked cheek, feeling victorious as I heard the sound of the impact echo through the labyrinth. I feebly punched his chest and stomach before my hands sough for his neck. I wanted to squeeze the life out of him and feel him squirm beneath my grasp. But before I even made contact with his throat he grabbed my wrists and instantly a noose went around my neck. I pulled at it, trying to keep it from cutting off my air supply. I kept completely still while my heart threatened to beat itself out of my ribcage. My life was in his hands and I knew that there was nothing I could do about it.

"I could easily return you to the whorehouse you came from you, little harlot. Is that what you want?" he hissed. Oh God, no! I couldn't go back, I could never go back! My entire body froze with fear and my blood went cold. I would have to submit my will to him. How I hated the man who had such control over me. He must have sensed my fear for the noose was removed. I turned to face him, the devil incarnate.

"Go burn in hell," I spat.

"Don't remind me," he replied casually. God I HATED him. I couldn't even give a good insult to him; they just rolled off like water. Suddenly he grabbed my wrist and dragged me into a little boat waiting at the shore of the lake. His cold hands burned into my skin.

"What are you doing?"

"Well I can't let a little whore like you go off and tell you that the opera ghost has returned, can I?"

Great! Absolutely wonderful! Now I'm prisoner to my greatest enemy! Could my life possibly get any worse? I sat obediently in the boat while I was seething in anger. I would defy this man somehow; I would get away. And I knew that the first thing I would do would be to rid him of this earth.

The jolt from the boat hitting the shore brought me out of my faults. As much as I hated this man, I had to admit, the place he lived in had a certain dark charm to it. He pushed me onto the shore and I looked back at him, scowling at his rudeness. I'm sure that this cold-blooded murderer was quite a gentleman when Christine was around. But of course, I was just a common prostitute. Why should I matter?

"Your room is the alcove on the right. Make yourself at home." _Home!_ He honestly thought that I would call _this _place home? "Oh, and I wouldn't even think of leaving, unless, that is, you would prefer the magical lasso? Remember, the angel sees, the angel knows." Oh I HATED him. I wanted to wring his scrawny neck so badly. This man was sickening. Not only had he killed my mother, then made me a whore, and then made me his prisoner. The list of ways that he could make my life miserable never ceased to grow. What could I expect next; him to make me… oh God, he didn't expect me to be hi_s_ _mistress_, did he?

"And little Giry, I almost forgot. You know, with all of those salaries from the managers, I am a wealthy man. I'm sure that you wouldn't mind making some good money by providing your _services_ would you."

I wheeled around and looked at him, absolutely appalled by his offer. I would much rather take the first fat drunkard that walked in than him! Or would I? That last customer had scared me enough as it was. At least the Phantom was a bit more easy on the eyes. WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT WAS I THINKING! I would never lie with that damned murderer even if he paid me more money than the Vicomte de Chagney owned!

"I may be a whore and your prisoner, but I will NEVER be **your** whore!" I spat. I couldn't take anymore of this man. He was making me sick. I stormed off to my room, finding that only a semi-transparent curtain was all that kept me away from him. Well, at least the room looked nice. I sat down on the bed surrendering my mind to the jumble of thoughts that had been plaguing my thoughts. Why did everything have to come crashing down on me like this? I let my head fall into my hands and silently wept, letting my pain trickle down with every tear. Perhaps I should try to escape. Maybe death would be better than this nightmarish existance called life.

Wait a minute, perhaps not all was lost. I would not be able to kill him now, but I would free myself from his tyranny one way or another. I'll just have to bide my time. I will track down this murderer, even if it means spilling his cold blood on my hands.

**Sorry if Erik seems a bit OOC, I was trying to make him dark. Don't forget to review!**


	3. The Angel Sees

**Thank you reviewers!**

_3. The Angel Sees_

So I did exactly what I said I would; I bided my time. I have no idea how many hours passed, but I waited until the cave fell silent and all was still. It was time to seek my revenge. I carefully peeked outside the curtain again. He was STILL sitting at the organ. Did this man ever sleep? I looked a bit closer. The opera ghost seemed immersed in whatever he was doing. Christine had mentioned before how when he was composing he would become completely engrossed in the music, almost oblivious to anything and everything around him. She had told me that was how she had gotten the chance to see his face. I smiled to myself. This could definitely be used to my advantage. I watched in anticipation as he brought his hands to the keys once more. He finally began to play. My grin widened. It was time for revenge.

I carefully crept out of my room, being meticulously careful not to disturb anything and praying that I still maintained my grace as a ballerina. My heart began to beat harder and faster with every step I took. I was only a few feet away from my goal, but the strangling itself would be difficult, for his neck appeared to be very wide. Something on the rocks caught my eye. _His lasso!_ I wanted to laugh out loud. Of all the times that the Phantom had to be careless it was the time when he would meet his demise. I picked up the heavy rope and prepared the noose. I hoped this would work. But as I approached him, I stopped for a moment, mesmerized by his hands and his music. The harsh chords from his opera somehow blended together, creating an intense harmony that shook my senses and my soul. His hands danced over the keyboard, caressing the ivory keys with an uncanny gentleness. How could a monster create something so… _beautiful_? It was almost a shame to end this talent. Wait, why did I pity him? I shouldn't be. I swallowed what felt like a wad of cotton and poised my hands so that the noose would fall over his head. I had never thought that I would every actually kill someone, but this man deserved the exception. So why was I hesitating? Why was revenge so hard to get? My mind was screaming '_do it Meg! It's not hard! You hate him! Kill that monster!'_ while the sympathy in my heart was crying not to. I pushed it all away with a firm resolve to kill him. What was I waiting for?

'_DO IT!' _

I dropped the noose, clumsily fooling with the rest of the lasso. Instantly the Phantom snapped out of his trance. He pulled the lasso off of his neck while my hands continued to fumble hopelessly with his weapon. Fear was rapidly taking over. Swiftly, one large and strong hand caught both of my tiny wrists, constricting them in another powerful, yet merciless grip. He brought me closer so that his penetrating blue eyes could burn their fury into my own.

"So you tried to punjab the Phantom of the Opera, eh Little Giry!" he growled in my face. I was more scared in my life than I had ever been. I was surely going to die; I knew I would. He would not bother to keep me here after my pathetic attempt at murder. I would only become another of his victims and there was no one on earth to save me. "If it was not for your mother than I would _surely_ kill you. Don't EVER even think that you will be able to get away with that again! Do you understand me!"

Tears of fright had steadily made their way down my face. How could he switch moods like that so quickly? A moment ago he had been touching the organ with an infinite amount of gentleness and the next he was a raging demon. I shook my head like an obedient child, absolutely petrified by his explosive temper.

"Get out of my sight!" With that he cast me on to the ground and I landed with a painfully hard 'thump', but I was too scared to care. In a rush I ran back to my room, desperately wishing that I had greater protection than that damned curtain. Slowly I let myself catch my breath. That was far too close. It was a true miracle that I was not dead yet. But why did he let me off the hook? What had my mother done for him that saved my life? Whatever it was, I was incredibly grateful. It was a sign that in a way she was still here, protecting me like before. I silently bowed my head and folded my hands. '_Thank you mother. Whatever you did, it saved my life._'

More tears, tears of frustration and pain fell down my cheeks. I completely blew it. There was no way I would ever get an opportunity like that ever again. He would be watching me with those burning eyes of hellfire that never closed, never slept. The Phantom had been right: '_the angel sees, the angel knows._' I sighed to myself. There was truly nothing to live for now. I had no family left, no home, no job, and there was no way I would ever go back to prostitution. I was just a mere prisoner, perhaps a mistress later, but I was nothing else. I was nothing. My life had truly reached the lowest valley I have ever known.

I kneeled down on the hard, stone floor and said a silent prayer to my mother, asking for guidance to teach me to live and give me the strength to try. I would never forgive him for condemning me to live in this hellhole with him among other things, but perhaps I could learn to live with him, just as long as I didn't upset him anymore. After all, what was left? The only question now was should I continue this bland, wretched existence, or end it and join my mother and father?

**Ok, ya I know that my chapters have been short but I'm trying to do something about that. Also, after this, I'm kinda not sure about this story, but I do have ideas, if this makes any sense. But don't worry, unless I change my mind, everything should be good.**

**Also, a note to Nameless Waif: I made it so that Erik didn't kill her (mainly because that would end the story very quickly) because Erik is in debt to Madame Giry for getting him out of the freak show, so it would really be a problem if he killed her only daughter (only he doesn't know that she's dead yet). **

**Also, this goes for everyone who was wondering why Erik asked Meg about sleeping with him, I made Erik say that for two reasons. First, I've noticed in other stories that when he is darker, he does hang around prostitutes. Sometimes he actually sleeps with them, sometimes he doesn't. But mostly, I made him say that because it goes with the whole thing where he was insulting her. He kind of said it more just to shake her rather than actually asking her if she would do it, if this is making any sense.**

**Please review! I love it when I check my email and review alert shows up!**

**Rachel**


	4. I Hope You Dance

Thank you so much for your reviews. I'm really glad you liked the last chapter, cuz I enjoyed writing it. (imagine erik getting pujabed with his own lasso).

Review Responses:

Moonjava: thanks for your reviews. I'm really glad that you've liked it.

I Love Gerry: I'm glad you liked the chapter. It was fun to write. I like making Meg a little tougher. Since I already put her through so much, I though that she would become quite a tough cookie. And yes, in this chapter and forward, Erik starts to lighten up. Don't worry, they will soften up with each other and we'll get into all the making out and probably some lemons.

Nelys1: Yay, thanks for your review. Ya, I thought it was funny that Meg tried to punjab Erik of all people. Don't worry, there's still a lot left to write.

PrincessBlackRose: BECCA! glomps Thank you for reviewing! I'm really glad you liked it. I hope you update on your other story!

Nameless Waif: MY EVER FAITHFULL REVIEWER! I'm glad that you get that stuff now. Yes, it would be pretty funny if Meg had said yes. I would be laughing hysterically as I wrote that part, but that kind of stuff won't be till much later. I forgive you for forgetting about what Madame Giry did for Erik. I forgot some phantom stuff lately too and I was like HOW DID I FORGET THAT! I don't know if I will go into a lot more about Meg's thoughts on suicide and I hope this chapter clarifies why. After all, her and Erik have got to get together sometime soon. Also, incase you are wondering, I have no idea when the last chapter of Two Hearts will be up, but it will go up as soon as my beta reader gets back to me about it.

Emily singing reflection:MY OTHER EVER FAITHFULL REVIEWER!I'm glad you like it. It certainly is a bit different from Two Hearts, which I think is a lot lighter. "OOC" means out of character. I'm glad you like the dialouge. Its fun to write the little bits where Meg and Erik are at each other's throats. Ya, sorry I forgot to mention her taking off all the makeup. Lets just say its been gone.

DISCLAIMER: don't own POTO

4. I Hope You Dance

For countless hours I sat on my bed, almost motionless, and very tense. I could not help but wonder why the Phantom had spared my life. The more I thought about it, the more puzzled I became, especially with what he had did to his victims. Buquet had caught fleeting glimpses of him but had spread his knowledge of the Opera Ghost like wildfire. Piangi had only gotten in the way of his plan to capture Christine and he had disposed of him as a mere pawn in the games he played with the opera house. I had tried to kill him, so why wasn't I dead yet?

As if that was not enough, I was still trying to understand what he had meant by "if it wasn't for your mother". I knew that my mother had been the go-between for him and the managers, but why had that been so significant? I felt like there had to be more, but what? She had never told me anything of the Opera Ghost, only that I should stay away from him. None of this was making any sense.

The silence that never ceased to haunt this lair was unnerving. I could hardly take it. Every moment I was half expecting him to rush in and I would meet the lasso's deadly embrace. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I would have truly minded. This empty continuation of life didn't seem worth living, if you could call it living. For the first time in my life, I was actually considering death as a way to free myself. It seemed perfectly reasonable. Once I was gone I wouldn't have to deal with any of the world's cruelties and I would finally find the family that had been so brutally torn away. Yet something kept holding me back from death's salvation. It was a childish fear really. The cross from life to death, or rather the means I would have to use for it, held me back. I didn't have the courage to do it, but I knew someone who didn't give a second thought about spilling blood. It would be quite easy to anger the Phantom and get him to end it for me. But did I want to feel the painful snap of the lasso breaking my neck, or even worse, would I give him victory?

Something almost silently stirred outside my room. This was it, I knew it was. The Phantom would give just one quick yank and my miserable life would be over. My entire body tensed as my heart started pounding in my chest. I watched with a petrified gaze as the curtain was pulled aside and the Opera Ghost stood there like a shadowy specter, yet what puzzled me was what he held in his hands. It was not the sinister lasso that I had been expecting, but instead a tray with a glass of water with a decent slice of bread and a piece of cheese. I looked at him questioningly, increasingly baffled by his actions.

"What? Did you think that I would starve you? I may be a cruel man, Little Meg, but I do treat some people with decency." I wondered if I should feel very titled to be one of those people. I remained frozen to my spot on the bed as he sat the tray down by my feet. I looked at the food before me. It looked okay, but I had a feeling that it had been tainted. The food probably contained some kind of poison, or perhaps a potion to knock me out and let him fulfill his own lustful wishes with my unconscious body. I shuddered at the thought. I would not give_him_ of all people the same pleasure that men had stolen from me before.Furthermore I would certainlynot give him the satisfaction of winning. It would take more than a dirty trick like that to bring _me_ down. I looked at the food questioningly. I had to admit, I was incredibly hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since I ate dinner on the night of my escape. My eyes returned to the phantom, trying to find if his cold eyes contained any hints of deception.

"No, I did not poison it. Besides, from what you did earlier, it would seem as though you are begging for death."

His words made me uneasy. Isearched his eyesagain but they were as distant and unchanging as always.He had been right about me almost begging for death. '_Couldn't have said it better myself._' It made me wonder why I would care if the food was poisoned. There was nothing to lose. I took a bit of the bread and bit into it. Nothing tasted different. I hungrily tore another piece off, eating greedily and not caring if the Phantom thought that I was unladylike. God knows that he had already gotten that point from my former profession. You couldn't get more unladylike than that.

* * *

Despite my dying fears, it was days before I felt comfortable enough with sleeping. Wide-eyed fears of finding the lasso around my neck when it was too late to get out kept me very awake. I stayed in my room at all times, only leaving when it was _absolutely_ necessary, while keeping vigils at night. 

It had been quite a while before I even heard the Phantom play again. Though I had lost a since of time in this world of unending night, I knew it had been weeks before a note had been played. I found it a bit more relaxing, easing the nerve-wracking silence that contributed to my fears. At least the music let me know that he was not sneaking up on me. Yet the music was night the same. When I had attempted to hang him, the Phantom had put so much more freedom into his musical release, diving completely into it and losing all awareness of the world around him. There was something different about it now. Restrained passion flowed through the keys and there was no other way to describe it than it lacking its true potential. Though I was wise enough not to even attempt such a thing again, I knew that he would not present the opportunity again.

Slowly but surely I was beginning to adapt to the unending darkness, but I still missed the surface. I missed fresh air and sunlight. But at least I was protected from the other dangers that the world above held. The thought of the whorehouse still haunted me, making me shudder. It was easy to understand why my captor had hid himself down here. The world could be so cruel and sometimes darkness deep as hell was the only way out.

My adaptations did not extend so much to the Phantom. I had not forgotten the crimes he had committed against me nor his fragile temper, though I was able to deal with his presence. I had not forgotten his fury and it was something I had hoped I would never know of again. It had been at least a month before I felt safe walking freely around the lair. I spent a lot of time sitting by the lake, watching the mist silently caress the water and faint rays of light dance across the surface. It was strange how a place filled with danger could be filled with such peace. Yet somehow, inside, I felt like I was dying. My life, which had once been so alive and passionate, had dwindled down into almost nothing. Something was stirring inside of me, something that wanted to resurrect the excitement about living that I had once known. Something in the depths of my soul encouraged me to dance.

I got up from my seat at the shore of the lake, looking for a spot that had enough room. I came across a small alcove, quite similar to my room, with a floor covered in Persian rugs.I stretched my limbs, finding that I was not as flexible as I once had been. Ever so slowly, I began to dance, my feet gliding nimbly over the carpet as my hands and arms twirled over my head. A sad, soulful melody played in my head, becoming its own creation. My body began to bend and move to the silent song in my mind and I let all of my pain and anguish release itself in my movement. Memories were flooding back so quickly. _I saw myself dancing on the stage about a year ago, when I was a great ballerina. It flashed to the journey through the labyrinth; holding that white half-mask to the faint light. I saw mama on her death bed, whispering her last words, her last breath. Living on the streets. The whorehouse. The night I lost my virginity, my precious virginity that I had wished to offer the husband I did not know yet._ Tears began to trickle down my cheeks as the movement reminded yet almost seemed to relieve the awful memories that I was burdened with. My rhythm quickened, matchig the tempo of the song inside my head. My strange, passionate dance let the pain flow like the tears streaming down my face. More visions of the past flashed before my eyes. _My last customer. Running away and dashing through the streets.That shadow that always watched me, with eyes, eyes that werefreezing cold, but burned with hellfire. Eyes of the Phantom. _I twisted and turned faster and faster, breathing ragged sobs with tears streaming down off my cheeks to the floor as I desperately sought for relief from my past.My body was beginning to ache and every step I took burned my feet, but I did not stop. This would be my means of suicide. I would keep dancing until I danced myself to death, until I had released allof the passionate anger and vengance my soul had fostered, and no one, not even the Phantom, would stop me. The silent song reached its crescendo and I found that I could not go on. I crashed to the floor in a sweaty, exhausted heap, feeling like scars of the past had been torn open again, yet strangely healed.

It was only then that I noticed the familiarshadow in the corner, casually leaning against the wall, and a pair of wide, icy blue eyes watching me.

**I hope you guys are happier with this chapter. I tried to make it a little longer.This chapter, without the review shout outs or author's notes came to about 2 2/3 pages on word.I'm not entirely sure when the next chapter will be up but it should be some time soon. It should also be when the romance begins and meg and erik will stop trying to kill each other. Tell me what you think! I love it when you review!**


	5. Something There That Wasn't There Before

**Sorry this chapter took so long guys. I kinda got grounded and I wasn't able to do ANYTHING. But no more about that. Sorry this chapter isn't very long. I wanted it to be, but I didn't feel like going on and on. Forgive me if it seems that I'm rushing into a relationship too soon, I'm just getting sick of them bickering all the time andI bet you are too soI decided to get to the love andspeed things up a bit. **

**Review replies:**

**Moonjava: One of my ever faithful reviewers. I'm glad you still like it. I love your reviews!**

**ThePhantomsShadow: Ya, I can't wait for the romance either, that's the most fun to write. Sorry if this wasn't romantic enough, but its a start. I agree, I think Meg does have a lot of emotion, she just never has the chance to show it because everyone always sees her as a little girl. Its going to get interesting when Erik finds out that he waspartlyresponsible for causingMeg so much pain.**

**sweet-little-girl: ya, I like doing passionate stuff. Its easy to write and its fun. I was glad you liked it because I do think that Meg has a lot of passion in her.**

**Emily singing reflection: Yay! another ever faithful reviewer. I'm glad you understand, I know how you feel sometimes. I have the same problem when I read something Kay based (grrr, still haven't read it though). You know, that is a really good question. I've seen the stage version twice and I've wondered the same thing. I guess Christine must have really been out of it not to hear him banging on the organ.**

**Valkyrie of the Rohirrim:** **I completely agree with you. There are way too few e/m phics out there, and although I like almost any pairing (except for r/c, no toleration for those whatsoever), I think that e/m is my favorite. They are just too cute together and you can't go wrong with that ship. I'm so glad you like my phic!**

**Hypnotized: Yes, I love e/m too, its the best pairing EVER! I totally agree with you. Meg has a lot of passion but very few opportunities to prove it. I think its funny how they are always fighting. Writing the part when Meg tried to punjab Erik was so much fun. I thought that was pretty funny if I don't say so myself. Ya, I was thinking the same thing about Meg getting bored too. There can't be much to do when you are stuck underground with a psycotic murderer (sorry Erik, I still love you).**

**Starkitty Angel**** Yay, I'm glad you found my phic. I'm a big E/M shipper, but sadly there just aren't enough out there and I'm trying to change that. There should be more. I love E/C, but sometimes E/M just seems more realistic and there are more options with it. I'm glad you like my phic so much. Don't worry, there is still much more ahead.**

**Nameless Waif:Yet another ever faithful reviewer! (hugs) I'm glad you thought the length was better. I'm trying to make these chapters longer, but without going on and on. I LOVED the little dialogue in your review. I loved it when Erik was like "AH! ITS POSSESSED!" I love Erik, I just want to cuddle him (cuddles Erik plushie). I feel sorry for you about the red tide. I hate the smell of dead fish. I live around the chesapeake bay and I can't stand the smell of crabs that have been sitting in a trashcan for like a week. Yuck!**

**brittanypiercey:** **I'm so glad that you like it! It's fun to do angry Megs! Its a shame that no one really realizes how much passion Meg actually has. "Breaking point" is a good way to describe this chapter. Sorry if it seems like this is moving too fast, but I really wanted to get into some romance.**

**PhantomoftheBandroom**** I can understand your urgency. I hate it when stories take forever for updates. I'm just sad this chapter took so long to post, but my author's note explains it, i hope. I tried to be original with what happened after the Opera House burned down. I was up for something a little darker. Sad and depressing is just very easy to write. **

_5. Something There That Wasn't There Before_

With a catlike grace, the shadow left its spot, moving into the faint candlelight. My heart stopped and I felt my cheeks turn scarlet. That wasn't supposed to happen! I had been dancing for myself alone, as my own means of release, not as a show. I felt so violated. For him to watch that dance was a way for him to look inside my soul, to see my inner turmoil and suffering; something that I had never wanted _him_ to see.

"How long were you watching?" I growled, very upset by his ever watching eyes.

"I'd say about five minutes," he said casually. I could feel the bloodlust returning.

"Why were you watching! You don't like it when I intrude on your music!" I waited for a response, but none came. So, I finally caught the Phantom without words! Though it was only a small victory, it was still one nonetheless.

"I couldn't help myself. There was something different about it that made it _worth_ watching. "

I looked at him questioningly. "I've noticed that sometimes you do not put all of yourself into dance. On stage, you often move a certain way because it is what is expected, but there is no passion in it. This time was different. You put your soul into it and it made it, well beautiful."

I looked at him with my mouth wide open, completely caught off guard. I had been expecting a rude comment like usual, but certainly not a compliment.

"You know, Little meg, I do appreciate art when it is done correctly. Besides, that was far better than anything that little cow, Jammes could come up with."

I let out a small giggle. He was quite right. I had never even liked Jammes that much to begin with. She had been more of a whore than I ever was, not to mention she was incredibly snobby and very annoying. I had wondered why my mother even let her become one of the corps; she was really a horrible dancer. She was almost as bad as Carlotta. I couldn't have agreed with the Opera Ghost more.

I almost said something in agreement, but I realized he had turned to leave. That distance had returned, but for that one brief moment, the gap had been crossed. The new side I had just seen of the Phantom was different from the cold and distant man I was accustomed to. It was almost like the ice had melted for a moment. Though it was small, it was still a change for the better nonetheless. But would it last?

* * *

Ever so subtly I was beginning to live comfortably in the Phantom's prescence, not just because I was used to him, but it also helped that he was becoming a bit easier to live with. It was nice that he wasn't quite as cold and rude as before. Gradually, I found myself spending less and less time in my room. I eventually ended up eating with him. It wasn't like going out to dinner with a suitor, not ever dining with friends. It was just a simple meal, where we would just eat, mostly in silence, but with a little bit of conversation here and there. It was certainly a change from when I had first come here. The fact that I was interacting with him did not mean that I had forgiven or forgotten the injustices I dealt with. I had just gotten sick of sitting in my room day after day alone and the Phantom was the only company (if you could call it that) available. Life was not exactly enjoyable, but it was getting easier to tolerate.

* * *

It had been about another week since the Phantom had caught me dancing. I had abandoned reading in my room and decided instead on reading by the lake, where I had been secretly listening to him playing. It sounded like he was composing. Suddenly, a harsh chord echoed throughout the chamber, startling me and shaking the cavern walls. 

I turned around almost angrily. "What was that for?"

"I was just frustrated. I've been making a few changes with my _Don Juan_ and this aria is getting to be particuarly difficult."

Out of curiosity, I walked over to the organ, examining the sheets of music sitting on the magnificent instument. My eyes quickly scanned over the notes. I wasn't exactly that great with music, but I had a little bit of musical backround and it was easy to tell thatit was very complex. He may have been evil, but I had to admit that the mantruly was a genius.

"I know what you mean. It can be quite frustrating when you can't get something right. I have the same problems with dancing."

He turned so that those eyes saw right through me. "You know, dance and music aren't so different. Each dance has its own rhythm and each step composes its melody."

I looked at him in silent wonder, awed by his simple yet _beautiful_ words. None of this made any sense. How could a bloodthirsty monster ever say something so poetic? There was more to this reclusive Phantom than there appeared to be. Was it possible for a man to be hiding within the monster of before? He never ceased to puzzle me. Just then I realized something; I had been with this man all this time and I had yet to learn his name.

"Monsieur, I'm just curious, but do you have a name?"

He paused for a moment, appearing to be in deep thought. "Not one that matters," he muttered, almost bitterly. "Besides, I thought that 'Opera Ghost' or 'Phantom' suited you well enough."

"I'm tired of calling you that. And neither of them fit you well, since you are neither. Surely you have a name, or at least something else that I could call you."

"If you insist, you may call me Erik," he said hesitantly.

"No surname?"

"No, just Erik," he said blandly.

I noticed that apparently he didn't want to continue the conversation so I let him return to his work and walked away. I could tell when he didn't want to be bothered and I decided that I wouldn't ruin his good mood. _"Erik."_ I whispered the name to myself, testing the way it felt on my tongue. _"honorable ruler"_. The name suited him well. The honorable part was questional, but he certainly tended to have an automatic sense of power and the ability to dominate. It was almost a strange name in a way. Two simple syllables, four little letters, yet the sound that they madehad a certain elegance, a certain beauty to it. Perhaps it was possible for a monster to have some beauty hidden within. The only thing I wondered now was if it was possible to find the buried beauty within _this_ monster.

**Well, there you go guys. I know it wasn't exactly romance, but as much as I want to get to the fun stuff, it was a little early for that. It was more of a (as brittanypiercey describes it) a breaking point. Sorry if it seemed to fast or slow. I think that updates should come a little bit more often. But I'm a bit unsure about what should happen next, so if anyone has some suggestions, PLEASE feel free to let me know because I am always open for ideas. Also, though I can get on the computer, I am also getting incredibly busy. I've been fulfilling my community service hours this summer so that is getting in the way and I've been in a play and we are getting closer to performace time. But I'll try to get the next chapter in as soon as possible!**

**Much love! Please review!**

**Rachel**


	6. Face in the Mask

**Aw, I love you guys. Thanks so much for your wellwishing (can't think of another word). For those of you who asked and or cared, I'm in a local production of Aladdin as Jasmine! It's kinda weird though b/c the director pieced stuff together to make it. It mostly follows this stage version, but all of the Disney songs are in it as well as two other songs that she just kinda threw in there. If anyone knows where Hereford High School is, go there on July 17th. The show is at 2. Its gonna be awesome, even if it's mostly a children's production, but its good!**

**For anyone who has read my other story, "Two Hearts Made Whole", I just want you guys to know that I have been working on the sequel. It's called "Heir to the Seat of Sweet Music's Throne". I don't know when it will be up, since the first chapter is super long, but I would say at least some time in July.**

**Ok, now that the breaking point is over, we can finally get to better things. This chapter is a bit like when Meg tries to punjab Erik (how pathetic, I can't even remember which one it is), but it gets serious. I was starting to run out of ideas so for this chapter and probably the next, I'm kinda borrowing some stuff from beauty and the beast, which I'm sure you will pick up.**

**DISCLAIMER: don't own beauty and the beast or POTO.**

**Review Replies:**

**Moonjava: wow, you're fast! thanks for your review!**

**PhantomoftheBandroom: I totally agree with you! Not only are Meg and Erik UBER cute together, but it also keeps with the story line. I'm glad you think it will turn out well. Now that I can start to get into the romance, the story will be easier to write and it well definitely get better.**

**ThePhantomsShadow: Check out the author note above. Thanks for your concern, it's still like 3 weeks away and I still get all nervous thinking about it. I can't wait! Romance is so fun to write andI can't wait till i really get to the good stuff! I'm glad you think that this is still good. It's only my second phic and I was having writer's block with the last chapter. I basically put it there so that it would be established that Meg knew Erik's name.**

**anon.: aw, thank you so much for your review! E/M rocks! I'm flattered by your review, but I defintely agree that we need more E/M. The part where Meg tried to punjab Erik was so much fun to write. I'm glad that no one has come up with that idea yet. It makes me feel original. I agree, romance is very, very good. And poor Erik dearly needs it. Of course, I would be happy to take care of that myself, but alas, I can't so sadly I gave Meg the job.**

**Starkitty Angel: I'm glad you think it's getting better. I desperately wanted to get to the good stuff and I havea huge problem when trying to do in-between stuff. I'm more of a get-to-the-point kind of person, and it reflects in my work. And we do need some more E/M out there. There are far too few.**

**Nameless Waif: I'm glad you liked the dialogue. It was hard to think of some kind of surprisingly wise stuff for Erik to say, especially with me being just about one of the dumbest blondes ever. As for what Erik means, I knew it meant something along the lines of honerable ruler, but I couldn't remember, so I looked it up on which is where I always turn to when a character needs a name. Don't worry about the "fun stuff". Unlike "Two Hearts", it will be at least three or four, maybe even five chapter's until I get to that kind of stuff. I was mainly refering to romance in general. Of course, the way these two are always fighting, I have to take this phic a lot slower. And you are definitely subject to "short, random bouts of semi-quasi-almost-genius". I get those too. I'm glad you enjoy my work. I enjoy reading your reviews! You should get an account on here. I would love to read your work.**

**Emily singing reflection: aw, thanks for the compliment! Ya, about the computer. I was kicked off for a few reasons. First, my parents found a copy of chapter 5 of "Two Hearts" that I had sent to my beta reader, and if you remember that chapter, well, it should be pretty self explanitory. Then my mom and I got in a fight over something really stupid, so I had that on top of before. That's why. Also, check out the author's note above for info on the sequel for "Two Hearts".**

**I Love Gerry: Ya, I know they were getting romantic too quickly. I was starting to run out of ideas and I desperately wanted to get to the romance (which probably showed in the last chapter). Thanks for your review and luck! I hope it goes well too!**

**HPROXMYSOX: By all means, I appreciate your honesty! Constructive criticism is welcome! I know that it isn't the best (and the last chapter probably showed it ). I'm glad that you still want to read it! Don't worry, now that we've passed the breaking point and I can start working on the romance, things will DEFINITELY start to get better!**

**Kim The Manipaltive Little Mo: Thank you for your review! Don't worry, there is still a lot more to come! I'm glad you like my story!**

**princessBlackRose: BECCA! (glomps again). I'm glad you liked the last chapter. i hope that update comes soon!**

_6. Face in the Mask_

Ever so slowly I was beginning to understand Erik, yet he was so incredibly complex, there was still much left to comprehend, with most of it left to be a mystery forever. Erik was so confusing. He could be almost kind one moment and then his anger would flare up without warning. Despite this, I couldn't help but feel like there was so much more to him. Erik could be so cruel, yet it was hypnotizing to watch the way he caressed the keys of the organ so gently. As if that wasn't enough, the sound that the instrument emitted was so beautiful that it was impossible for a human being to produce it.Sometimes when I was supposedly asleep, my ears would catch him playing a song somournful and sad, yet so beautiful that I nearly wept. Then, without warning, a sweet melody could be replaced with angry, almost harsh chords that jarred the entire cellar.He was just so unpredictable,and I was finding it almost hard to hate him. Erik was a bottomless pit, a raging, ever changing whirlwind of unadulterated passion. There was so much within him, so much to discover, especially what he was hiding under that mask.

The way that white mask always stood out was beginning to irritate me. I had to admit, he was handsome and when his eyes caught the moonlight in a certain way, they shined like stars. So what was so horrible about the other side? I knew that there was indeed something there. I had heard the cries and screams the night of Don Juan, but it had been impossible to see why. Erik's back had been facing me and in addition stage hands had pushed me away to get a better look of their "ghost" for themselves. This made me determined to get a glimpse for myself. I knew it would be too risky to take a peek while Erik was playing. Even after all this time had gone by since me pathetic attempt at murder, I could still seem him grow tense in my presence. Perhaps I could take a look while he slept. It would be easy, just a quick peek would do and he would never even know.

That night I waited for the cavern to fall silent. I heard the rewarding sound of Erik's fading footsteps. A sneaky smile played about my lips. I felt like a naughty child, but I was fun to tease Erik. I knew where his room was, but I was faced with the problem that his door could lock. At last I heard the door close. I waited in my room for at least another twenty minutes before crawling out of bed and making my way over to his room as silently as possible. Before I knew it I found myself before his door. My heart began to beat furiously and I took a deep breath. This was truly the final threshold and I knew that I was being dangerously risky. But I couldn't help it. Curiosity always got the better of me. With infinite care, I slowly turned the knob, and to my surprise, it opened. This was too easy. I opened the door very carefully, only wide enough to slip inside. Instantly I felt my blood run cold and the hair on my neck stand on end. Everything about this room made me feel very uneasy. It was faintly lit with black candles that faintly shined upon the red and black interior. I felt like I had walked into a tomb. My gaze shifted to a canopy and underneath it was_ a coffin_. Was this where Erik kept the dead bodies? My mind was screaming at me to get out of there, but my curiosity kept urging me on. I tip-toed over and looked into the open coffin. To my surprise, Erik was lying inside, sound asleep. For some reason, the sight of it made me sad. As reluctant as I was to admit, I knew that Erik was a genius. Something about this picture seemed wrong, but I couldn't exactly say what. It wasn't exactly surprising that the Phantom slept in a coffin. He looked so peaceful, like someone in death's deep sleep, just how my mother had looked. Then again, Erik was so thing that he could well have been a corpse.

My eyes shifted to something tucked beneath his arm. It was hard to stifle my giggle of surprise. Who would have guessed the that terrible Phantom of the Opera slept with a toy monkey! **(a/n sorry guys, couldn't resist)** It was surprisingly childlike for Erik.

My mind quickly averted back to my task. I came to see his face, not what kind of toy Erik slept with. Ever so carefully, my hand reached down to the mask and rested there as I braced myself. I ripped it off, my blood pounding through my ears as I prayed desperately that he would not notice. I looked upon the unmasked side for the first time and immediately my eyes flew open and I brought my hand to my mouth to supress my gasp. So this is why everyone screamed. The right side of his face was terribly deformed, with twisted, marred skin all over his cheek and forhead. I looked at it a bit longer. After you took a moment to get used to it, his face really wasn't that bad. Actually, it was kind of interesting. I had always been a bit braver than most ballet rats. I was often the one who could stand the sight of blood and helped momma when the other girls had some of the worst injuries I had ever seen. Besides, after living in the dirtiest slums in Paris and serving as a prostitute for close to a year, I knew that there were worse things out there than a little bit of twisted flesh like this.

Suddenly, something came over me and I had a strange urge to touch it. I knew I had already pushed my luck too far and giving in to more curiosity would mean a gamble with my life. With extreme caution, I lightly laid a finger on his cheek. Instantly I pulled back out of nervousness and surprise. His skin wasn't quite as rough as I expected. Again I rested my finger there, this time a bit longer. I was almost hypnotized by his face. His cheek wasn't very rough, almost like worn down sand paper. It felt so odd, but I couldn't help but take a childish facination in the intricate ridges of his face and the way the strange texture of his flesh tickled my fingertips. It was almost comforting in a strange way and I felt myself relax.

Without warning, his eyes, alight with a burning rage that frightened me even more than his face, shot open. I screamed and jumped back, knowing that very soon I would know the true meaning of the phrase "curiosity killed the cat". Erik's hand shot up to cover his face and he advanced towards me a like a beast closing in for the kill.

"Damn you!" he growled, so full of anger that he could hardly speak." What... were you **thinking**!" I could feel my body violently trembling at the sound of his venomous voice.

"I... I was just," I stammered,slowly retreating to the door as he continued to advance.

"Do you realize what you have done!" Erik threw a candelabra against the wall and I began whimpering, terrified to meet death at last. My back met the wall and panickovertook me now that there was no where to go. My hands frantically searched for the doorknob as my browneyes**(see a/n)**never left his fiery gaze. After a few moments of desperately fumbling for the knob, I found it and it gave me a small sense of security as I held it firmly. But as he moved even close, my limbs would not move now that I was frozen with fear.

"Erik please!" I cried fearfully, feeling tears drip down my face.

"I swear to you that **you will never see another day! GET OUT, DAMN IT!**" he yelled, tossing a chair aside. My heart was threatening to beat out of my chest. Erik was truly a monster.

"Erik!" I cried, making one last attempt to gain mercy.

"**GET OOOOOUUUUUT!**" With his final roar, I tore the door open and ran as fast as I could to the boat's mooring. Erik's cried continued to echo and I could hear him tearing after me. I jumped into the boat, using my arms to paddle away without even bothering with the pole he used. I felt the adrenaline coursing through my body as I made a mad dash for my life. At last I hit the opposite shore and still i did not stop. Only when I was safely outside did I stop running. I leaned against the door, trying to rest and catch my breath. But as my breathing and heartbeat slowly returned to normal, the reality of what had just happened began to sink in. I had ruined everything. I had lost my only means of food and shelter and my companion, if I could call Erik that. Everything that I had hated, I now desperately longed for. All of it had just been lost in the most foolish act I'd ever commited. I didn't have the faintest idea as to what to do. I would rather die that return to prostitution. I had nothing left and honestly, there was nothing left to live for now. _Why had I been so stupid! _But still, Erik didn't have to overreact like that. His anger was what had really frightened me, not his face. Before I tore off the mask, Erik really hadn't been that bad. He had taken care for me and been somewhat kind. He had helped to fill my loneliness and satisfy my human need for companionship. It hadn't exactly been friendship, but at least it was something.The bitterness of this horrible turn of events made me cry. I hated myself for my stupid curiosity. If I had not been so determined to see under that mask I would still be asleep in my warm bed. Now I had no where to go, no idea what to do, and no way to live. Drearily, I began to trudge down the street. I didn't know where I was going, but I was getting away from this city and all of the pain it fostered. I was just going to walk and walk until I could walk no more and not have a care in the world as to where my feet toook me.

I had dragged myself down a few blocks, occassionally looking at the bleak night sky when somethinggrabbed me. A man's arms were holding me too tight with one hand covering my mouth, suffocating me with his stench and crushing the cry I had emmitted.

"You aren't goin' anywheres," an oddly familiar voice whispered. Oh God, that voice sounded too familiar. I bit down on his finger, making him let go. I felt like I wanted to vomit; he tasted worse than he smelled. Instantly I took off, running for my life again. I could feel my body giving out with every step. I knew I could not go on. With a small trip, I collapsed onto the ground. I knew that this was the end. My body would be beaten and broken like some many times before and then be discarded. I heard the footsteps of my doom coming closer and I began to cry harder and tremble fiercely, my entire body radiating fear. The man picked me up and slammed me against the brick alley wall. My head started throbbing wildly, making me lose focus. A steady trickle of something warm and sticky began to make its way through my hair and down my neck. I silently prayed, hoping that if God was truly merciful, he would let me die now and not make me go through this horrible ordeal. Something cold and sharp was held against my throat. _a knife_. He pulled my hair violently, jerking my head up so I could stare into the face of my assassin and rapist. My heart stopped. I couldn't believe it! Of all the dirty bastards in Paris, it had to be the last customer I had before running away. Feelings of a new fear flooded my weak body. I knew that I would receive no mercy.

"There's no escapin' tonigh', pet," he growled into my ear. A wave of nausea washed over me as the odor of his breath reached my nose. Not only was he out for bloody revenge, but he was drunk as well, as if this night could possibly get anymore hellish.

'_Please, dear God! Save me!_' I prayed, knowing that I did not gave the strenght to survive this. The bastard brought the blade closer to my neck, so close that if I took a deep breath, the cold metal woudl piece my flesh. I closed my eyes in one last plea. '_Please!_'

I heard a voice, a dark voice, one that had frightened, soothed, and seduced, yet I was too dazed to understand what he said. Again my head made impact with the bricks and I fell to the hard cobblestone, feeling the same warm liquid trickling down my face. _blood_. I tried to keep my eyes open, fighting away at the drops of blood falling into my eyes, but the agonizing pounding of my head was too much to bear. The flash of metal and a glimmer of something white was all that my eyes permitted me to see.

_"Erik,"_ I whispered before giving into unconsciousness.

**Sorry for any typos guys, I had to post this in a hurry. I hope you liked this chapter, it is probably the longest yet.**

**About Meg's eyes: I can't remember if I mentioned their color before, but from now on, they are brown.**


	7. Try to Forgive

**Sorry this chapter took so long to post, but I have been incredibly busy, especially since this is the last week of rehersals (aka hell week) for Aladdin! Can't wait till showtime! Anyway, I also wanted to let you guys know that it should only be about one or two more chapters until we get to the real romance, so bear with me. Also, a special thanks to my 50 reviewer, fictiongurl!**

**Review Replies**

**Moonjava: My ever faithful reviewer! I'm glad you liked the last chapter. It was actually pretty easy to write.**

**ThePhantomsShadow: Ya, I know, evil cliffie. I'm sorry. Here is the continuation for it.**

**fictiongurl: I know I was pretty evil with the cliffe, but don't worry. There is still much more to come.**

**I Love Gerry: Thanks for the review. Ya, I definitely felt like the last one was thebest I've done so far. Sorry that this one isn't as great. I'm glad you like my characterizations. I couldn't resist to put the part with the monkey in there, the opportunity was too good to miss. Besides, you would think that with Erik's very very delicate self esteem, he would probably have something to calm him down. Thanks for the wellwishing. I'm so nervous. Okay, I will admit that I am stretching it since it's a children's production and I'm like one of the oldest ones (16)and I've been doing this particular drama camp thing for seven years, but I guess I am okay. Hey, there is nothing wrong with being an alto. I have a friend just like you. Being able to hit low stuff is just as impressive as high stuff. Btw, PLEEEEZZZZ CONTINUE WITH YOU E/M STORY! omg, I loved it soooo much and you have to put some more e/m stuff out there for all of us crazy Erik/Meg shippers!**

**KitsuneRW****: I'm so glad you like my story and thanks for the compliment! Here is your update.**

**sweet-little-girl: Ya, I'm glad I got to the action. There are actually some later chapters that will have some action like that too. Ya, I definitely agree that Meg isn't as shallow as Christine because Meg is just awesome! That's why we love her.**

**PhantomoftheBandroom: I'm glad you liked this chapter so much. I think it was my favorite too, well at least so far. There is going to be some more stuff like that, and well, some action of a different kind even sooner.**

**Emily Singing Reflection: I'm so happy you liked the last chapter! Ya, I hope this play goes well. I know how you feel though. Personally, I HATE The Little Mermaid. Ariel just makes me cringe! To be honest, I'm not sure why my mom was going through my stories either. She just doesn't really believe in privacy, well at least for me and my sister. She also thinks that I'm tooobsesed with POTO and she's kinda trying to restrain me, which really sucks.It's not like I would actually do that stuff, I do have a reason. I write that stuff because I want to show that Erik and whoever I pair him with have a relationship that is so passionate and deep that they express it like that, and also because I know there are people out there who like that stuff,if this is making any sense. Don't worry, I don't think I'll stop writing. They can't hold me back! Besides, I wouldn't keep one of my ever faithful reviews hanging. Btw, sorry if I miss a review for your story. I had you on stories alert list, but for some reason it doesn't want to alert me anymore, but I'm working on it.**

**LadyJade: I'm glad you like my story so much! Yes, Erik does save her, though I'm sorry if this stuff gets a little confusing. Don't worry, I'm gonna keep their relationship going cuz I really want to get to some hard core romance.**

**brittanypiercy: Ya, I liked writing the chase scene too, and it was fun to bang Meg's head into a wall twice. Don't worry, the action that you are talking about is definitely coming, and it will only be about three more chapters until I get to some lemons. And there will be a pretty big conflict later too, but that is MUCH later. **

**Nameless Waif: haha, your reviews always make my day. I know I was incredibly evil for me to leave a cliffie, but hey, at least it wasn't as bad as the one in Two Hearts. I'm sorry I made you freak out so much. I think Erik just kinda feltbad about what he did, cuz we all know that Erik is really just a big softie. I kinda got the whole idea for that scene from Beauty and the Beast, when Belle goes into the west wing. I so agree that they are meant for each other. About the monkey, don't worry about the creepy music box thing. This was the monkey from when young Erik escapes the gypsies. Hey, he needs something to cuddle when he gets nightmares. I could resist that part, it was too good to miss. You should sooooo go for the one shot! I hope the show goes well too, lol!**

**WanderingChild24: I'm so glad you like my story so much! It's been so much fun to write! There is stuff much more to come!**

_7. Try to Forgive_

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times before everything came into focus. To my surprise, I was back in my old room in Erik's lair. I turned my head and instantly the pain of the impact with the wall came surging back. I held my head, trying to stop the throbbing, only to find that there were bandages everywhere. Had Erik really done this?

Someone pulled the curtain aside and Erik came in with a glass of water.

"Oh, you're awake," he said. His voice carried neither anger nor sarcasm, but was instead on the borderline of indifferance and kindness, yet his eyes betrayed his facade. I don't think that I had ever seen such eyes. They were not cold, but dull and cloudy, broken and betrayed. I would have rather seen him angry than like this; it made me want to die of guilt. I had not wanted to hurt him, at least not after he had started to warm up to me.

I wriggled out of the covers, trying to sit up but instantly the room began to spin and my head felt like it was slammed against the wall all over again.

"No, don't," he said quietly, moving over and gently laying me back down. "You need to rest. I will be back." With that, he turned around, ready to leave.

"Erik, wait!"

He turned back, with his sad eyes burning into me more than his rage, only adding to my guilt even more. I looked down at the blankets, unable to meet his gaze.

"I... I just wanted to thank you... for saving me. If it had not been for you I would have suffered a horrible death."

"You will never have to worry about him again," Erik replied, rather coldly. I knew all too well what he meant. My customer had met the Punjab lasso. "Who was that man anyway?"

"The last customer I had," I spat bitterly as images of that terrible night came back to haunt me. "Let's just say that it was not a pleasant meeting."

Erik looked at me for a moment, his eyes letting me know that he understood and it was almost reassuring, and I felt protected. "I will be back to check on you again shortly," he said before he swished his cloak and left.

I opened my mouth in protest, but decided against it. I let out a small sigh. I had never felt so guilty in my life. Sure Erik's anger had been frightening, but nothing unnerved me like his sadness. Yet he never ceased to amaze me. Even after I had exposed his biggest secret and infuriated him, Erik continued to care for me and not only that, but he saved me from probably the worst death possible. None of it made any sense. How had the raging beast I last recalled turned into this guardian angel?

* * *

For about a week I remained in bed. Erik took care of me very well. He brought me food, cleaned and bandaged my wounds daily, and helped me out of bed, assisting me with getting back on my feet. I couldn't help but stand back in a state of awe, still unable to understand how he could be so kind. It just wasn't like the Phantom I used to know. I was finding it harder and harder to hold onto the memory of the pain he could put me through. I knew I didn't exactly hate him anymore, it was impossible to after all he had done. I wasn't sure if I could really forgive and forget, but I could forgive him a little. 

As many times as I thought it over, I still couldn't understand why Erik had saved me. I wanted to know exactly what it was that had made him put his life in the way for me, so I finally got the nerve to do it.

Erik was sitting at the organ, just looking at the instument, almost in a daze. With wobbly legs, I made my way over to him and quickly sat down before my legs gave out beneath me. He did not turn to look at me, but instead kept his eyes fixed on the wall, remaining in his trance. It was a sight that I did not want to see. I could see the pain in his eyes, threatening to release itself, but I watched with awe as he held it back. Erik seemed like he could always take more than any other human being, but it was far more than he deserved, far more than anyone deserved, yet he carried it.

"What do you want, Little Giry?" he asked, almost coldly. I hated it. I hated how there was suddenly this horrible divide between us and how he kept his interactions with me as limited as possible.

"I... I was just..." I wasn't entirely sure how to go about this. Erik was already distant enough as it is and obviously wasn't in the mood to be bothered, but I wanted to know, I needed some questions answered. "Erik, why did you save me?"

He remained silent for a moment and kept his eyes fixed on a spot on the wall. "I was repaying my debt. That is all."

"What debt?"

"I guess your mother never told you," he said, avoiding my gaze. "When I was younger, I lived in a gypsy camp, used as an attraction in a freak show. Your mother helped me escape and brought me here to live. She saved my life, I saved the life of her only daughter. The debt is repaid. When you have regained your strength, you will leave me."

Instantly an alarm bell went off in my mind when I heard those words. I couldn't leave! Who knows what would happen to me if I went out on those streets again? Hadn't he seen what had nearly happened to me last time I left! I nearly got killed! This was the only home I had left.

"Erik, no," I whispered.

"What did you say?"

"Erik, please, don't make me leave. This is the only place left for me to go."

"Oh, so you want to live here with a monster, don't you Meg!" he growled.

I was a bit surprised. He had not called me 'Little Giry" or 'Little Meg'. He actually called me by my name.

"What do you mean?"

"I would think that you would be a bit smarter than that. You know I'm a bloodthirsty murderer. You've seen my face. Most people would refer to me as the definition of monster!"

"Erik, please listen to me."

"No, there's nothing to talk about! Just leave me in peace!" he stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him. I hated him when he was like this and I wasn't giving up without a fight.

"Erik, open this door right now!" I said, trying the doorknob but finding it was locked. I pounded on the door with my fists. "Come on, get out here! I'm not through with you!" The door did not open and the room gave no hints of a sound. I knew no matter how hard I banged on that door Erik would not come out and the very thought of it increased my temper.

"DAMN IT ERIK! Why do you always have to be such a selfish bastard! Always hiding instead of facing the world like a REAL MAN! You know what! I didn't even give a damn about your face! If you wouldn't have been so angry I WOULDN'T HAVE RUN AWAY! Don't you dare send me out on the streets! I'm staying whether you like it or not! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" In my fury, my mind quickly sought for words that would shoot through him like venom. I was mad and even if I couldn't beat him, words had more power than sticks and stones. "You know, its no wonder Christine ran away! YOU'RE A MONSTER ON THE OUTSIDE **AND ON THE INSIDE!**"

Those hateful words stung my throat like poison and only after they had left my lips did I realize exactly what I had said. Even through the door, I could hear a small gasp. I knew I had gone too far. I didn't even believe what I had just said. Erik wasn't really a monster, but I had been blinded by anger and didn't care what came out until it was too late. What had I done?

"Erik," I whispered, my voice softening greatly. "Erik, I didn't mean that. Please don't believe that I think of you that way." His silence was slicing through me like a knife. Tears of self loathing made their way down my face. There was no way to make up for what I had done. To my surprise, the door opened. I thought that there had been nothing worse than the betrayed look Erik had in his eyes, but this was a look that killed my soul. He fought to keep his face straight, with tears threatening to spill over his beaten and broken eyes. _'Oh Erik, I'm so sorry_.'

"Well then Meg," he said,trying to stop hisvoice from wavering,"since I am a monster, I can assume that you will be happy to leave my company. You will leave." He shut the door and I heard a muffled sob thatshook me from theinside out. Oh my God, what had Idone!Erik didn't deserve this.I could have murdered someone and still it would not have amounted to the sin of breaking him thoughroughly. I ran back to my room and flopped onto the bed, pounding the pillows, trying to release the pure hatred I felt towards myself. How could I have been so cruel, so stupid! I had never meant any of those words, but the damage was done. I may have been horrible to Erik, but I was not going to make it worse and stay. I would find something to do, and if some terrible fate befell me, well, I would probably deserve it.

There were hours of torturing silence, where the only sound I could hear were my own cries and the water gently lapping at the shore. Yet as the minutes ticked away, the more sane I became. Perhaps there was a way to take a step towards making up for this mess. Besides, even if I still had to leave, I needed to try to make up for the damage I had done.

Nervously, I approached Erik's room, trying to think of something that even came close to the remorse I felt. I knocked on the door, praying that Erik would give me one last chance. To my surprise, the door opened.

"What do you want?" he said coldly. I studied his face for a moment, noticing that his eyes were slightly red and there were light tear tracks down his unmasked cheek, adding to my guilt even more, if possible.

I took a deep breath, a bit unsure about where to start. "Erik, I wanted to appologize."

"For what. You only restated what so many have already said."

His words pieced my soul. "Erik please, that's not true. I just... I was just so angry, and I wasn't paying attention to what I said. And I know that you probably don't want to listen to me right now, but please, just give me a few minutes. The truth is that I don't really think of you as a monster.A real monster wouldn't have put themself at risk to save me, nor would they have taken care of me half as well as you have. Besides, your defor-... what's behind you mask, it really isn't that bad. I mean, it's only a little bit of twisted skin. After what I've been through, there are things farworse than your face. And you know what, I wasn't even really scared of it. It's just that when you woke up and you were so angry, it really scared me, far more that your face.

"Erik, I know I don't deserve to stay here, but if you could find some forgiveness within you, I promise that I will be able to make this up to you. I really don't want to leave. You've been so kind, kinder than anyone has been to me in a long time, and there is no where for me to go. Please Erik, let us start over, let me make it up to you."

His face remained hardened and I held my breath. "I will see if you live up to your promise. You may remain here as long as you keep it."

I couldn't stop the small grin that escaped my lips. I would certainly live up to it. "So do you want to start over?" I said, holding out my hand.

"Deal," he said hesitantly, taking my hand. Something felt strange about it. They were warm and sticky. I looked down, finding that his hands were badly cut with bits of glass stuck in them. I felt horrible. Not only did I hurt him emotionally, but physically too. Could I possibly be any worse?

"Erik, what happened!"

"Oh, I just broke a few mirrors."

"Come on, I'll help you bandage these," I said, carefully taking his hands.

"You don't have to do this."

"No, I want to. Besides, I'll be keeping my promise. Do you have any bandages around?"

"Look in the cabinet near the organ."

I made Erik sit down before running off and easily finding a small box. I opened it, finding some bandages and what I assumed was an antiseptic. I returned and immediately started helping him. First, I took out a pair of tweezers and carefully removed the small shards of glass from his cuts, watching as Erik fought not to wince. I poured some antiseptic on them, feeling horrible that he had to go through this pain.

"I'm sorry this has to hurt so much."

Finally, I bandaged his hands tightly, making sure that they would not get infected.

"Thank you," he muttered.

"Think nothing of it. I was only living up to my word."

It had only been a simple act, but it was a start in making up for what I had done.

**Sorry the ending was kinda blah, but I wrote it in a zombie like state. The next chapter probably won't be up until like next week because this is the last week of rehersals for Aladdin, so I have that in the evening and then in the morning I have to do community service stuff so I'm basically running on sugar. Please review.**


	8. Teach me to Live

**Thank you so much my dear reviewers. Aladdin did go extremely well! I couldn't have asked for a better performace, the only bad thing is that now I am incredibly bored and depressed. Sorry this chapter took so long to get up. The play was really holding me up on this chapter, but I finally did finish it!**

**Omg! I can't believe I've gotten this many reviews! (blows kisses to reviewers) I love you guys!**

**Review Replies:**

**KitsuneRW: Sorry this update took so long. I'm so happy you like this story! And rehersals and perfomances went very well. Thanks for your review!**

**ThePhantomsShadow: Yes, it was actually kinda fun making Meg yell at Erik, even though she did say some nasty things. I was feeling a need for a bit of angst and anger. Ya, Aladdin was hard work. Saturday we had a show in the morning and in the afternoon. It was exhausting, but fun. The performances were perfect. Unfortunately it took up all of my time and made it take forever to finish this chapter.**

**Moonjava: I'm glad you liked that chapter. Thanks for your review and here is your update.**

**Emily singing reflection: I'm glad you thought the last chapter wasn't blah. I totally understand what you mean. There is nothing wrong with a bit of obsession, and I love writing these stories. And its a good hobby... right? lol. I'm glad you like this story.**

**I Love Gerry: I'm happy you liked the last chapter so much. It was fun to do a little angst. I had to put in the part about Meg fixing Erik's hands or else I would have been mad at her myself. But then again, she didn't entirely mean to do it. And Aladdin did go very well. I got all of my lines and songs right! (gasp) lol. And also I did review for your phic. And the last time I checked, you were up to 6 reviews, so that sequel better be coming. I've been dying for some more e/m stuff!**

**PhantomoftheBandroom: I'm glad you like my details. I like putting in little extra things. I especially enjoyed the part with the monkey, just couldn't resist. As for the cloak, I have to put in a little bit of Erik's sexiness. I'm sorry I almost made you cry. Also, Aladdin did go very well, so thanks for your luck!**

**Nameless Waif: Ya, basically the entire weekend was done while sugar high. Opening night was especially fun. After the show we went to this place down the road. Hehe, sugar and soda. A couple of my friends were like "uh, Rachel, are you sure that's just soda". I was surprised I still had my voice the next day. I did feel bad about putting the thing about Erik being a monster, as we all know that he isn't. I agree with you. What Christine said was certainly very cruel. And Erik really does need to stop smashing mirrors. The are other ways to release anger. Oh well. I hope that your family reunion was fun and I appreciate that you would come if you could. Omg, so do you like live around there! That's awesome! Aladdin did go very well. **

**meeka: I'm glad you like my story so much! Its alway nice to get a new reviewer. I'm glad you think its intense, since that was the feeling I was trying to express. Thanks for your review!**

**HPROXMYSOX: Yay! I'm glad you think its better. I was hoping you would. I just needed to get to the good stuff, since I basically suck at trying to do in-between stuff. I'm so happy that you thought that they were dramatic.**

**irrelevant: I'm glad you liked this story. I'll keep that hint in mind. Thanks for your review!**

_8. Teach me to Live_

Ever since our compromise, our roles had switched and I became the doctor. I took care of Erik the best I could, trying to live up to my word. Every day I put ointment on his hands to help them heal before rebandaging them as I was doing now, taking all measures to prevent infection.

As I wound the bandages around his palm, I couldn't help but notice how perfect his hands were, the trademark of a great musician. His fingers were long, with broad palms. It was as if he held power.

"You know Erik, you really should take better care of your hands. It would be a shame if you hurt yourself so badly that you couldn't play anymore."

"You easily forget that not only do these hands make music, but they kill as well."

I abruptly closed my mouth, deciding not to respond to that comment. He was quite right. I had seen his handiwork with the lasso, but his music, music that was so powerful it was a weapon in itself, surely it helped to even out the evil he had commited.

"There, all done," I said, finishing with the wrappings. Erik took the box with him leaving me alone. I sighed to myself. Nothing I did was ever going to repair the damage I had done between us. It was such a shame. I was really starting to like being in Erik's company. He was such a facinating man with so many dimensions to his personality. He had such a mysterious, almost intoxicating aura that it was drawing me to him, yet I found myself disappointed in how he kept himself separated from me.

It was useless sitting here any longer. I went into my room and decided to occupy myself with some needlework. I had noticed that many of the dresses were a bit large for me and I was getting tired of them hanging off, so I decided to finally do something about it and take them in a bit. I sat there for at least an hour, working on a blue dress that I had been rather fond of, but was too loose around the waist.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Erik push the curtain aside, with a very odd, almost troubled look in his eye. I turned to him, unable to pull myself away from the look on his face.

"Meg, I just can't help but wonder... you've been down here all this time, why do you insist on staying here? Why haven't you gone back to your mother?" he asked.

That last word echoed throught my head and went through me like a blade. It was really the first time anyone had even mentioned her since her death. I had almost thought I was over it, but the sudden mention of her resurrected the grief I had felt. I took a deep breath, wondering if I could really explain the hell I had known to the man who had contributed to it.

"Because... I have no mother to go back to. She died not long after the opera house burned."

"I'm sorry... How did it happen?"

I took in another deep breath, finding it harder to keep myself steady as I recalled the time I spent in the slums.

"She had been very tired. We had nowhere to go and no way to live. The small remains of money that we had with us was not enough. We had triedto find a job, but there wasnothing for us so we turned to begging." I felt my breath catch in my throat as it became even harder to get through my past. "She spent the last week in the slums, where she fell horribly ill. The doctor said it had been a combination of stress and the smoke from the fire." I left off there, fighting back the tears,not wanting to remember the last moments of her life, of my mother lying there, barely breathing. Bitter tears were beginning to sting my eyes. "I spent the last bit of money on the doctor and a terribly cheap funneral. I was all alone, with no way to survive. I begged on the streets, even stole a few times. I had no choice but to sell myself. It was all I had left," I said sullenly, trying to swallow the lump that had choked my throat.

"Erik it was so terrible," I continued, feeling tears on my cheeks as I released the memories I had fostered for too long. "It was so sickening, so harsh. I was nothing, only a toy to be rented out and abused, for a measly 15 francs. That first night... oh God Erik!" I could hold it no longer. I broke down into a fit of sobs, remembering every horrid detail: that one moment, one that should have been the holy unity of husband and wife, it turned into something so sinful, so terrible. I remembered that moment, whena stranger'sdirty manhood had torn away my virginity. It had hurt so much. It had sent a surge of pain through my body and it had not stopped. I could still remember returning to my room the morning after, shaking and shivering, feeling so incredibly empty and so unclean. I sat there, drowning in the painful depths of my memory.

Suddenly, I felt warm arms around me, almost protecting me. I opened my eyes, met by Erik's trusting gaze. "Oh Erik, it was so horrible. I never want to go back, never!"

With great gentleness, Erik tipped my chin, wiping away a tear with his thumb, making me look directly into those clear blue eyes. He stayed that way for a moment, looking into the depths of my soul, yet making me feel stronger.

"Meg, you didn't deserve any of that. I promise you that you will never have to go back there. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that."

* * *

That night, I was finding it harder and harder to sleep. My cursed mind did not want me to sleep, punishing me with twisted, horrific nightmares, magnifying the past into something unbearable when I had tried to disobey it. For the longest time I laid on my back, stairing at the ceiling as my worst memories flashed before my eyes. I hated this. My body was tired yet my mind refused to permit sleep. I gave up. It was pointless to lie here any longer. I picked up the candle by my bed and decided to sit by the lake for a while. Watching the swirls of mist and the shimmer of the moon on the water had always had a calming affect on me; God knows I could certainly use it now. However, as I rounded the corner,I found that I was not alone. 

Erik was sitting there on a rock in almost a meditative state. His eyes drifted across the lake as he gently swished his fingers through the fog. He looked so peaceful yet something about him seemed tense. I pulled my robe around me closer and sat down at his side, breaking his trance.

"I suppose you couldn't sleep either," he said calmly, keeping his gaze fixed on the lake. I silently nodded. For a moment, it remained silent and the only sound was the water lightly lapping on the shore.

"I wish I wasn't the one who put you through that," he whispered, his voice hinting regret.

"Erik, what do you mean?"

"I've been thinking. Meg, have you realized that if it wasn't for me, your mother would still be here and you would still be a ballerina. I caused all of those problems, all because of a fruitless obsession. I had been so desperate that I had forgotten about other people, especially those who have shown me the only kindness I have ever known," he said, turning to face me. I couldn't help but noticed that his eyes shimmered with tears. "I wish I could take it back. Meg, I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes and turned away, trying to hide the fact that he was weeping.

I looked at him, trying to comprehend this moment. He had said he was sorry. He actually had cared about what he had done. At last I could see that there was a _man_, a compassionate, caring man, not a monster.

"Erik," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder, "I forgive you."

He turned around, very surprised, and I noted the tears that had trickled down his cheek. "How? How could you possibly...?"

"You said you were sorry, truly sorry. You said you didn't mean for it to happen, and I believe you."

Erik continued to look at me dumbfounded and I watched as another tear escaped his eye. In the back of my mind, there had been a question there, one that would surely be surprising, but what I felt would be better for both of us.

"Erik, would you... stay with me tonight?" I asked, feeling my cheeks turn a shade of scarlet. "I was just hoping that maybe someone else's prescense could help keep nightmares away."

He continued to look at me questioningly, but eventually nodded his head and we went to my room. It felt very awkward as we climbed into bed, and it actually surprised me. I had slept besides men many times, but something about being in the same bed with Erik made the situation entirely different. As we slid beneath the sheets, both of us stayed as close to the opposite sides as possible. Even after Erik had fallen asleep, I remained wide awake. Maybe I had been wrong about this being helpful. Though Erik certainly was keeping nightmares away, sleep was also away as well. I looked over at him, lying on his back in a corpse-like position. He still had his mask on. It didn't look very comfortable either. Carefully I reached over and peeled it off, not the least bit disturbed bywhat was beneath it. Erik was not a monster. I settled down into the covers, making a very bold move by laying my head on his shoulder, which I found quite comfortable. I smiled to myself, finally finding peace tonight.

"Goodnight Erik," I whispered before finding sleep at last.

**Yay! Fluff! I'm sorry if Meg appears to be getting over her anger a little too quickly, but I've really been wanting to get to some e/m fluff so I just decided to do it. For those of you who want a little more action, do not worry. It will be coming. It might take up to like 3 chapters to get to it, but it will come. **


	9. Give me the Strength to Try

**Thank you so much my dear reviewers! Also, for those of you who liked the fluff from this chapter and the last one, have no fear. Basically everything is gonna be fluff from here and out. **

**Also, you people must check this awesome phantom music video! Just go to this site: www.cresentmooncreations. and click on phantom of the opera. Then c****lick on music videos and go to "Never Alone". Oh my God it is beautiful. I'm addicted to it. **

**Review Replies**

**ThePhantomsShadow: I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Don't worry, I will be writing a lot more, that is, when I can escape summer reading. **

**KitsuneRW: haha, yes, fluff is great. And Erik really should take better care of his hands. What would we all do if he couldn't play anymore! Thanks for the review. **

**I Love Gerry: I'm glad you enjoyed the fluff. And I'm so happy you picked up on that scene by the lake! I was definitely thinking of "no one would listen" for that part, after all, the lake is a very romantic spot. And I'm glad that you think I'm doing okay with Meg. Even though I made her this fiesty little thing, she still is the sweet and innocent Meg we know and love. And I hope that the next chapter of your phic comes soon. I love it!**

**princessBlackRose: aw, thanks for your review Becca! We really do need to do Gerry fest and I desperately want to see you before school starts (yick).**

**LadyJaye: Thanks for your review! Ya, stage plays can be nervewraking, but I love to do them anyway. Glad you liked the fluff. It was fun to write and I was really feeling the need for some. And I'm glad you picked up on my little interpritation of Meg. She's begginning to see the Erik we all knowand love. And I'm happy that you think I'm doing okay with the speed of things. **

**satha: haha, yes, gotta love the fluff. And don't worry, there will be much more of that coming. **

**Little Ballet Rat: Aw, I'm glad you liked the fluff. There will be much more of that coming too. Thanks for your review and here is your update.**

**charity: Aw, I'm glad you like my phic so much. And don't worry, there will be much more action to come, which is kinda why I made it M. I know that right now this stuff really isn't that heavy, but I thought that with the first chapter and some of the later chapters, it was too much for a T rating so I was like, well, might as well make it M. Thanks for your review!**

**Nameless Waif: Wow, I really do enjoy reading your reviews. So we've met, eh? Hmmm. (thinks) With my horrid memory and blondness, I really can't think of who you are to save the life of me. There are so many times at family reunions where my mom will be like "Oh Rachel, this is your cousin so and so" and I'll be like, "uh, who are you?" So you are still nameless. hehe, family reunions. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Meg had to forgive him, I mean, who can resist asad Erik? And I'm happy you liked the lake part too. I was kinda thinking of "no one would listen" for that scene, since the lake seems like a very nice, peaceful, and of course _romantic_ kind of place. And I haven't picked up on the Phantom ads yet. I've noticed that there have been some for other things, but I haven't noticed any for Phantom yet. Oh well, it is very appropriate. I'm so happy you liked the ending. I was really fond of that part too. It was fun making them so they were like "STAY AWAY!" but they were really like "ooooh come a little closer." lol. And don't worry, there will be much more of that to come.**

**HPROXMYSOX: Aw, I'm glad you liked the fluff. And don't worry, after Erik realizes, um, exactly how they wake up, he doesn't make a big deal about it. I think he's starting to get used to Meg pulling it off as well. I'm so glad you like my story. Thanks for your review!**

**Emily singing reflection: No problem about the review. I haven't been able to get on very often either. And I'm glad you like my story so much. The last chapter of your's was really cute.**

**Blissful Rose: aw, I'm glad you like my story so much! Don't worry, there is still much more to come. **

**FFAMasquerade2005: Wow, thanks for your review. I'm glad you like my phic so much. I intended for it to be a little darker. Glad you like it!**

**Aronoded: Aw, I'm glad you like it so much! Don't worry, there is still much more to come!**

_9. Give me the Strength to Try_

My eyes sleepily fluttered opened and I awoke feeling very well rested and incredibly comfortable. I stirred slightly and opened my eyes. To my dismay, Erik had already replaced his mask. My head had remained on Erik's shoulder but my arm had found its way around his waist and somehow my leg had wrapped itself around one of his own…

WAIT A MINUTE!

Instantly I jumped off of him, quickly moving to the other side of the bed as my face turned a bright shade of red. Erik shot straight up. I hadn't meant to wake him.

"What! What happened? What's wrong?"

"Oh Erik, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you!"

"No, it's all right. I've been awake for a while, I just didn't want to disturb you."

I felt my cheeks grow warmer. That had been so nice of him, but I wondered how long I had been pinning him down like that.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"No, think nothing of it. I didn't mind," he said with surprising honesty. Erik must have noticed it too because almost immediately his face turned a rather adorable shade of red and I found it hard not to giggle.

"Uh, I'll make breakfast," and with that he hurriedly left the room.

I remained on the bed, frozen to my spot, still trying to understand exactly what had just happened. Had Erik just said that he didn't mind that? I had to admit, I had been very comfortable beside him. But what did he think of me now that I had unconsciously clung to him like, well… '_like a whore,'_ I thought bitterly. I could never go back to those days, I never could. And yet, how had Erik made sleeping besides a man so… _inviting_, even _enjoyable_? He had certainly been the first man to accomplish that feat. Still, I couldn't help but wonder why it had felt so comfortable, so… _right_ by his side.

* * *

­­­The following nights were spent alone, which, in its own way was a good thing. Without Erik in my bed I didn't have to worry about embarrassing myself further. 

And yet, at the same time, I missed his presence. My bed felt very cold and empty and I found myself wishing for his firm, warm body and how safe and secure I had felt waking up with him.

Daytime was beginning to get a little tense as well. For some reason, Erik and I seemed to avoid each other. The atmosphere of the cavern had an uneasy aura to it and I found that a giddy nervousness came over me when I talked to him. With all of this, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I had enjoyed our conversation by the lake and I wished that I could only find another moment like that.

A sound from one of the alcoves caught my attention. I went over, finding Erik holding a violin case.

"I didn't know that you played the violin."

"Yes," he replied, taking it out of its case. "I enjoy the violin very much, I just haven't played it for a while."

"Is it okay if I stay and listen," I asked.

Erik nodded before placing the violin to his chin, much like the violinists in the orchestra. He ran the bow over it, adjusting the strings and tuning the fine instrument. With great care, Erik slid the bow across the strings, making the instrument produce a gorgeous sound and the beginning of a sad melody. I sat there with my legs crossed beneath my skirts, much like a child listening to a story. As Erik played, I watched him intently, noting how he had closed his eyeswhile the violin enchanted me with its song. I felt myself being mezmorized by Erik's music as well as by the man playing it. It was surprising how a man with such a twisted face could make music so beautiful that it must surely be the work of angels.

The end of the song broke my trance and I found that my soul was begging for more.

"Erik, that was so beautiful," I whispered reverently. "Please play another one."

With a flicker of a smile, Erik raised the bow to its strings, pausing to think. The bow began to move and the strings produced a quick, lively, yet passionate song. I could feel the notes moving though me, inspiring my soul. It called to me, begging my body to move with it, seducing me into a dance. The music controlled me like a marionette, pulling me to my feet and I willingly gave in, turning and twisting. My mind gave into my body's demands, causing me to move in seductive ways that otherwise would have made me blush. Yet I could not stop. I moved as the music instructed me to, feeling a deep and intense exhillaration.

I felt something solid and warm against my back and only then did I realize that Erik had stopped playing. He wrapped his strong arms arond me and I leaned back, letting my head rest against his chest, succumbing to him entirely. With care, he trailed his hands over my waist,igniting an intoxicating heat in the pit of my stomach, making it harder and harder to breathe.

"Erik," I whispered breathlessly.

My hand reached up to his unmasked cheek, gently stroking his face while the other guided his touch and I felt Erik begin to tremble. I closed my eyes, feeling warmth spreading throughout my body, yet making me shiver at the same time. To my surprise, I felt a hand slyly sliding under my shirt, tickling the sensative skin of my abdomen. Oh God, don't let this ever stop.

Erik's cool yet soft fingertips left my waist and instead he rubbed his thumb over my lips, making me desire his own.

"So... _beautiful_," he whispered, tracing my cheek. I opened my eyes, instantly met by his passion-glazed orbs, sparkling with a deeper blue color than I had ever seen.

Slowly he inclined his head, coming closer and closer until I could feel the warmth of his face and his breath upon my lips. I was yearning for him to close that space, to become lost in his kiss while tangled in this embrace. '_Please Erik_,' I silently pleaded, '_You're so close! so close..._'

In a flash, Erik sprung away, jolting me out of that blissful trance and startling me.

"Erik... What?... _Why?_"

"Sorry, sorry, forgive me... no... can't... not again," he mumbled before rushing back to the sanctuary of his room and locking the door.

I stood there for a moment, wondering if that had just been a dream before a burning frustration took over. I had been so close, SO CLOSE!

"DAMN IT!" I cursed, stomping up the stairs to my room. That had really infuriated me. I had been so close to him, so wrapped up in that moment and he had to break it and break away.

I sat down on the bed and as I cooled down, sensability began to return. I couldn't help but wonder why I had wanted his kiss so badly. It was a little strange, almost. Erik had been the man I had loathed so well, but none of that seemed to matter anymore. He just wasn't the cold-blooded killing machine that I had once thought he was. If anything, Erik was an incredibly talented and handsome man (even with that one half of his face) with music that could rival that of angels. There was no doubt I was very attracted to him. Just a moment ago Erik had brought out feelings and sensations that no other man had ever come close to sparking, let alone that I thought myself capable of feeling. But could I really go far enough to call that _love_? As much as I hated to admit it, only time would tell.

**Yes, I know it was terribly evil of me to do that, but torture can be rather amusing. Okay, now that I have a very clear view as to where this story is going, updates might be faster, but since my parents have been making me do summer reading every waking moment, it's gonna set me back a bit.**

**(a/n) About the second violin song, think of that one scene when Christine is on her way to the graveyard and there is that really cool little instrumental part with a really fast violin part. And when Erik and Meg are in that little embrace thingy, think of that one pose with Christine and Erik during "music of the night". **

**Please review!**


	10. Kiss me too Fiercely

**Well, my dear readers, I have decided to torture you (and Meg) no longer and finally gave in to posting this chapter. I will warn you, however, that the next chapter might take a while because there are some things that I want to space out and, as you know, I'm not good with writing in-between stuff, so it might take a little longer for me to think of some decent stuff to write. This will mean that the next chapter might not be as good as the stuff I've posted recently, but what will come after that should be able to make up for it. **

**Review Replies:**

**Moonjava: Yay! You returned! I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much! Thanks for your review!**

**ThePhantomsShadow: I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much. And I wholeheartedly agree with you about torture, though I know that I was kind of cruel (especially to Meg) with the last chapter.Getting back to your question, I am 16 years old.Thanks for your review and here is the update!**

**Aronoded: Yes, I know that was evil, but I'll make up for it with this chapter. I'm glad you love my story so much. This was actually one of my fastest updates ever. I felt bad about what I did to Meg so I decided to make it up to her and well ended up finishing this chapter in one night. I surprised myself. I hope you like this one!**

**Little Ballet Rat: Yes, I know that was cruel. I'm sorry. I hope you like this chapter. It should make up for the lack of making out in the last one. Also, I wanted to tell you that I love your one-shot "She's no Christine". It was so cute and the e/m love just warmed my heart.**

**littledaae323: Oh my goodness! I never knew that I had such an adoring phan as you! I can't believe that you have been reading this since I posted it! (huggles) I'm so happy that you reviewed! Of course I forgive you! As for the reviews, ya, I wish that there were more, but this is the most I've ever gotten before. I know that when my first story (and the only other one I've written) reached 50 I was like YAY! And your little broadcast was greatly enjoyed. **

**Nameless Waif: Haha, yes, torture if fun, but to be honest, I could never actually kill something. I like your plan for family reunions. I would do that too, but my mom has a tendency to drag me to see people that I don't really know. And it would be cool if you could disappear into the walls. That would be very Eriklike. I'm glad you caught on to that little pose thing too, because that was definitely what I was thinking of. And I'm glad you liked my embarrised Erik. He is cute when he blushes. That's kinda how I wanted things to go for that part. And I like your theory. Erik did realize that he was getting carried away (though Meg certainly didn't mind) and also he just kinda chickened out all together. And you will also see later why he chooses not to seduce her, at least, not yet. Omg you're right! (huggles for being my ninetieth reviewer!) And you really wouldn't mind if I found out your identity? YAY! Don't worry, I won't tell. Because I seriously will drive myself mad trying to figure out who you are. Go to my profile for my email because every time I try to put it on here, it insists on making the whole page bold and it is making me mad. **

**charity: I know that was evil, but I'm glad you still liked it! Thanks for your review and here is your update.**

**A Porcelain Victoria: Yay!A new reviewer! I'm glad you like my story! I like Meg a lot too, it's a shame they don't have that much about her in the musical and/or movie. Though I think that her attraction to Erik is hinted a bit when she finds the mask at end but sadly, they end it there. Thanks for your review!**

**HPROXMYSOX: Yay! I'm glad you did think of those things. That was what I was hoping for. I'm so glad you like my story so much and that you think its like a real romance novel! That just makes my day! Thanks for your review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own POTO or the little song that Erik sings.**

_10. Kiss me too Fiercely _

For the longest time I laid on my bed, stairing at the ceiling, watching the reflection of the water dance across it. My thoughts wandered where they wished, occassionally drifting to that almost-kiss. I couldn't stand it! I rolled over, plunging my head into the pillow, trying to knock the memory out of my head, or at least make it leave me alone. I almost wanted to forget it. Remembering the way I had felt when I had been so close to him then the frustration of it being ripped away was driving e to the edges of my sanity. I had to do something, anything to stop the memory from plaguing me endlessly, and lying here wasn't going to fix anything.

I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to find something to eat. On my way there, I passed Erik's door. I stood there, looking at it.

'_Just knock and ask him if he wants something to eat._'

'No! Are you crazy!'

_'No, butyou must be if you are talking to yourself. Look,it's not that hard. Just knock and ask him._'

I moved a bit closer to the door.

_'Come on, don't you want to see those pretty blue eyes again? He might even let you in._'

'Are you crazy! That coffin isn't big enough for two people!'

'_HA! So you admit it! You do want to seduce him! Looks like little Meggy hasn't changed that much after all!_'

'No! I'm not a whore! I stopped being one a long time ago!'

'_Fine! Just knock!_'

With a deep breath, I rasied my hand, fighting whether or not it should make contact with the door.

'_JUST DO IT!_'

'I... can't.'

My hand dropped as I sighed to myself. I really was losing it. How bad was it if I was already talking to myself, let alone losing an argument with me? I sighed again. This really was driving me insane. I wondered if Erik happened to have any liquor.

I went into the kitchen, searching the pantries until I came across some bread, cheeze, and coincidentally, a bottle of wine. I took my findings with me, making a picnic for myself. After a few bites, I was beginning to get thirsty. I uncorked the bottle. I had never tried any kind of liquor before. This ought to be interesting. I took a sip and instantly my mouth puckered. It tasted sour. But at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to drown out everything in alcohol for a while. I could manage to deal with the taste and escape the voices in my head and that damned memory. It didn't seem too bad. I raised the bottle to my lips...

'_No_,' I thought. I wouldn't go that low. I wouldn't lower myself to the level of those drunken bastards I had been forced to seduce. I was beyond that.

On my way back to my room, I found myself looking at Erik's door again. Why couldn't I find the courage to talk to him? I knew that I would have to do it soon, but I was still too weak.

So yet again I found myself stairing mindlessly at the ceiling, fighting with myself whether or not I should just bite the bullet and do it. This just couldn't go on. I was slowly loosing my sanity from wanting Erik and I knew it. '_Please maman,_' I prayed, '_Teach me to be brave and strong like you were. Teach me to love him like I should._'

In the silence of the cavern, a souldn, crystal clear and haunting like the coo of a mourning dove quietly resounded throughout the lair. I had never heard something so beautiful, so pure in my entire life. I tiptoed down the stairs with extreme care, trying to be as silent as humanly possible. I crept around the corner to find Erik sitting on the shore. It seemed as though the sound was coming from him, yet how could he sing with a vioce so pure and angelic that even God's most perfect angel could not produce a sound that could compare to Erik. As I moved a bit closer I was just able to pick up the lyrics, with words that made my heart melt and caused my soul to weep along with my eyes.

_"And in my twisted face,  
there's not the slightest trace  
of anything to even hint at kindness._

_"And from my tortured shape,  
no comfort, no escape.  
I see, but deep within is utter blindness.  
Hopeless,  
as my dream dies.  
As the time flies,  
love, a lost illusion.  
Helpless, unforgiven.  
Cold and driven to this sad conclusion._

_"No beauty could move me  
no goodness improve me.  
No power on earth, if I can't love her.  
No passion could reach me,  
no lesson could teach me  
how I could have loved her  
and make her love me too.  
If I can't love her, then who?_

_"Long ago, I should have seen  
all the things I could have been.  
Careless and unthinking, I moved onward!"_

Suddenly the song stopped and a few tears fell down Erik's cheek. '_Oh no, don't cry Erik,_' I begged silently. It was breaking my heart. I wanted to comfort him, to love him, yet something was still holding me to my hiding place. The way he had sang so reverently made me realize that he was _praying_. I was ready to asnwer it too, until he rose, facing the lake, his eyes bent heavenward, belting out his prayer.

_"No pain could be deeper!  
No life could be cheaper.  
No point anymore, if I can't love her!_

_"No spirit could win me!  
No hope left within me,  
hope, I could have loved her and that she'd set me free._

_"But it's not to be.  
If I can't love her,  
**let the world be done WITH ME!"**_

The last pleading note reverbrated through the walls, the last verse shaking me deeply. '_Oh Erik, don't believe that. Don't give up on me. I love you!_' I watched from my hidng spot with tears streaming down my face as he sank back to the ground, hisvisible cheekglistening from weeping. I wanted to wipe his tears away so badly, or better yet, kiss them all away. Yet as he sat there, he let his head fall into his hands and I heard him whisper a prayer.

"Please dear God, I know you have not listened to the pleas of a demon before, but just this once... Oh God in heaven, let me love here, please have mercy and let me love her. Don't rip her away. I can't live if you take her away.Just once, let this monster learn to love! Please, just once, let her love me."

I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my sob. The bittersweetness of his words was overwhelming. I counld't hide any longer. I got up slowly moving away from my spot. As soon as Erik saw me, he made a hasty retreat to his room. '_Oh no you dont!'_

I caught him by the arm and instantly he spun around, his questioning, tear-glazed eyes hitting me full force.

"Erik... I"

"No Meg, no. I won't, I can't. I can't lose again. Please." He started to turn away, but I grabbed both of his hands, feeling myself shake as I held onto him.

"Erik, you are not alone. I heard your song and... Oh God, how do I explain this. You mean so much to me; your voice, your eyes, your face, your heart, your soul, you. There is just something about you that I can't escape. Something that draws me to you. Something." I took a deep breath. This was it. "Something... that makes me love you."

His eyes flashed with surprise and I felt his hands suddenly grow cold and tremble.

"But Meg, I'm such a monster. How can an angel of dance like you possibly love a demon like me?"

Hmm, angel of dance, I liked that. "Because you aren't a demon Erik. You are the kindest, most loving man I have ever known. You have such a beautiful soul Erik, I just wish that you could see that."

I noticed that more tears had begun to fall from his sapphire eyes and I couldn't bear it.

"Erik, please don't cry my love," I said, drawing him into a tight embrace. Somehow he was making me stronger and weakening me at the same time. "Please, please don't cry." Yet as I held him I found that I could not stop my own tears.

With slight hesitation, I raised my mouth to his cheek, gently kissing it, tasting his salty yet soft skin, intermingling my tears with his own. I pulled back, reaching up to unmask his other cheek, yet Erik's firm grip caught me. I silently pleaded, trying to let him know that I loved him justthe way he was, without a disguise. At last he released me and I peeled the mask away, showering his face in kisses and tenderly tracing the ridges of the deformity with my lips. I went lower, coming in contact with the corner of his mouth. Oh God, his lips were so soft soft and warm like a rose and I wanted them so badly.

With my heart ready to beat out of my chest, I pulled him into a kiss. I gasped against his mouth. His lips were so soft and perfect, it was almost sinful to kiss him. We broke away for a moment, still trying to adjust to the feel of this new sensation. Erik looked at me with eyes that could outshine the stars.

"Oh God, I love you so much!" Erik whispered in a broken voice.

"I love you too," I managed to say before he claimed me with his upper lip and tongue. I moaned against his mouth and instanly his tongue darted out and danced a wicked tango with my own. He then released my mouth, instead kissing the tear tracks on my cheeks.

"Erik," I breathed, unable to say that glorious name enough. "Erik, Erik, Erik!"

I jumped into his arms, kissing him ardently and I felt us spinning, his cloak and my dress billowing around us, then falling, falling, until SPLASH!

Freezing cold water was suddenly soaking every inch of me. I sputtered and coughed and thankfully Erik pulled me to my feet. The temperature of the room had dropped considerably now that I was so wet. I looked up at my beloved and both of us blushed from getting so carried away.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"No, it's alright. I didn't mind," he added coyly. "You'd better change before you catch a cold. I'll make a fire."

I scurried back to my room, desperate to find some nice, warm clothes. I hastily changed out of my wet ones and put on a pretty powder blue nightgown before going to Erik, finding him in a small room with some large cushions covering a persian carpet and a fireplace. Erik had already changed into asome rather becoming black silk pajamas and was working on a roaring fire. I was starting to feel a little warmer already.

Erik reclined on the pile of cushions and I snuggled up next to him, very content. He leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on my lips, yet immediately desire for more flooded me. In a flash, I had deepened the kiss, sliding my tongue into his mouth and pulling him down on top of me onto the soft cushions. My hands began to search for the buttons of his shirt, but Erik broke away.

"Not yet Meg," he whispered softly with a twinkle in his eye. "We will, but not yet."

WIth a twinge of disappointment, I settled down again by his side, resting my head against his chest and listening to his heart. I looked up at Erik as his eyes met my gaze and he smiled lovingly, kissing my forhead and drawing me closer. Between the warmth from the fire and Erik's own warmth, sleep was too inviting to resist. I gave in, finding it to be one of the most comfortable nights I had ever known.

**Well, now I have ceased to torment you. I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter, cuz I certainly enjoyed writing it. And, as Erik has stated, don't worry, they will, um, get together fairly soon.**

**(a/n) Erik's little song was taken from the broadway version of Beauty and the Beast. The song is called "If I Can't Love Her" and has got to be one of my favorite songs from that show, so, I couldn't resist!**


	11. Chamber of Secrets

**AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Over 100 reviews! PARTY! wow guys, thanks, couldn't have done it without ya!**

**Sadly though, this brings me to another note. Apparently you can not post review replies anymore. If you guys get an email about it, sign the petition! So, sadly, I can't do review replies at the moment, but if you guys sign the petition, then I will be able to. **

**Also, I decided to be extra nice to you guys. Since this chapter is short and, well, not very good, I have decided to do a double update. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own POTO.**

_11. Chamber of Secrets_

I stirred from the pile of cushions but I found that Erik was not there. A soft sound caught my attention and I peeked around the corner. Erik was seated at the organ, apparently composing. I liked what he was playing. It was a simple melody, soft and sweet, almost like a lullaby. He stopped after a few measures, pausing to write something down and looking up as he did so. Immediately his gaze locked with mine. I walked over, knowing that I had been caught.

"Good morning my love, " Erik said, taking me into his arms and kissing me chastely.

"Mmm, mornin' Erik," I whispered sleepily. "Why did you stop playing?"

"Because... it's a surprise."

"For who?"

"For you of course!"

I laughed, enjoying his reactions as I teased him. "When will I hear all of it?"

"Must you be so inquisitive?"

"Yes. So when will I find out what this surprise is?"

"Soon... if things work out right," he said, muttering the last bit under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

I smiled wryly at him, getting an idea in my head. "Perhaps I can persuade you otherwise," I said before kissing him soundly.

"Well my sweet Meg, you do sorely tempt me, but I'm afraid you won't get me to tell."

I could see that no matter what I did, Erik was not going to budge, so I gave up on the subject. For the first time this morning, I realized that Erik had put his mask back on.

"Erik, must you always insist on wearing that stupid thing. Every time I talk to you I feelike I'm talking to _it_ and not you. Besides, you know I love you just the way you are."

"I do know that, it's just that I feel more comfortable when I'm wearing the mask."

"Could you at least leave it off around me?"

"But that would be all the time!"

"Ugh, you are so stubborn," I pouted.

"Well you're so curious," he retorted.

"Could you at least leave it off at night?"

"Fine," he sighed. Well, I couldn't get Erik to tell me what he was hiding, but at least I was able to convince him not to wear that damned mask. It was a start.

* * *

However, just because Erik wouldn't tell me about the surprise didn't stop me from trying to find out about it myself. I had always been too curious for my own good and I was always up for a bit of a challenge. In the earliest hours of the morning I could hear him composing, yet the sound was barely more than the quietest whisper. I would tiptoe down the stairs and hide by the bend without a sound. But after a minute or two Erik's uncanny ability to detect someone always managed to pick up on my prescence. He would stop playing and tell me to go back to bed. I still waited for him to start again, but I always lost the battle to stay awake and I would not hear another sound for the rest of the night.

* * *

I was really starting to like life with Erik now. There were no secrets and nothing to hide, except for maybe that surprise, or so I thought. There was still something about Erik that led me to believe that there was something else that he was keeping from me. Every time when he kissed me deeply there was always a fire in his eyes and a certain restlessness about him that was starting to make me nervous. He would always look down and look at my hand before looking into my eyes, almost pleading to me but I wasn't sure why. I just hoped that he would cease to tantalize me with these secrets.

**Yes, I know, sucky, short chapter, but I'm making up for it with the next chapter which I am sure you guys will like. Though I would still appreciate it very much if you still left a review for me anyway!**


	12. One Final Question

**Well, here is the second half of my update, I hope you guys like this one because I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. This should be able to make up for the last chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Me no own POTO. (hehe, I'm starting to remember these.)**

_12. One Final Question_

Erik had been unusually jumpy today, whipping around every time I touched him, muttering to himself under his breath. It was starting to worry me. He certainly hadn't been acting like himself.

I watched as he sat at his desk, saying something under his breath. I couldn't watch this any longer and I walked over and put my arm around him, just to let him know that I was here for him and ready to take care of whatever was bothering him so much. Immediately he flinched at my touch. I sighed inwardly; I hated to see him like this.

'Erik, are you alright? You've been worrying me lately."

"No, no, I'm fine, just fine, I..." I looked at him seriously, knowing that what he had said wasn't true and Erikknew that I saw right through that lie. He took my hand and sat me down on his lap, turning my head to look into his eyes. "Meg, are you... happy here with me?"

"Of course Erik. I couldn't be happier."

He sat silent for a moment, his gaze almost cold and distant. "Listen, go get the warmest cloak you can find and hurry back here."

Well, I had to admit, this was certainly odd but I figured I might as well go with it since Erik looked like he might shatter if I said no. I grabbed a thick, midnight blue cloak and hurried tomeet Erik. I was really starting to worry about him; he looked so pale that I thought he might faint.

"Erik are you sure you're feeling well?"

"Yes," he said haistily before tying a blindfold over my eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes, but-."

"Just relax, there is something I want to show you." I felt Erik put a protective arm around me and he took my hand. It surprised me that it was not as warm as usual but instead cold and clammy.

Erik led me through his underground kingdom, helping me up uneven ramps and thousands of steps. It was certainly taking a long time to get wherever he was taking me. I noticed that the longer we walked, the colder Erik's hands got and he even began to shake a little.

"Are we there yet?" I asked for the twentieth time.

I heard Erik chuckle nevously. "Actually, we are." He stopped to open a door and immediately an icy cold blast of wind rushed through me. I pulled my cloak around me tighted and I wondered exactly how long I had lived with Erik in his seperate underworld.

He led me up another flight of stairs and I knew that at last we had reached our destination. He untied the blindfold, running his hands through my hair, coming to rest on my shoulders.Erik pulled me closer, so close tht I could feel his entire body trembling.

"Erik?"

"Look," he replied and for the first time I looked around. I had never seen a sight like it in all my life. The lights of Paris provided a gentle glow to the charred rooftop and a light snow had begun to fall, dancing around us like fairy dust. It was strane that while in the middle of this busy city, it was perfectly silent up here. Everything was incredibly beautiful and incredibly... _romantic_.

I felt Erik pulling me closer and he rested his head in my blonde loks. His grip on my arms was almost painful and his breath had become shaky.

"Erik?" He turned me to face him, taking my hands in his and I noticed that his eyes were carrying so much fear. "Erik?" He simply gave me a nervous smile before taking in a deep and shaky breath.

_"Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation;  
darkness stirs and wakes imagination.  
Silently the senses  
abandon their defences..."_

The cold that I had felt before melted away as Erik's sweet and gentle voice warmed every bit of me. With the first verse, Erik gained more confidence and a smile appeared on his face as he put his arm around me gently rocking me back and forth.

_"Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour;  
grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender.  
Turn your face away from the garish light of day,  
turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light  
and listen to the music of the night._

_"Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams!  
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before!  
Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar..."_

Erik's voice had reached a pitch so pure, so unearthly that I felt my breath catch in my throat. I looked at him and he smiled.

_"And you'll live as you've never lived before.  
_

_"Softly, deftly, music shall caress you.  
Hear it, feel it secretly posses you.  
Open up your mind  
let your fantasies unwind  
in this darkness that you know you cannot fight,  
the darkness of the music of the night."_

I looked up to the sky, feeling myself entering Erik's surreal world of music and darkness, giving in completely to his song.

_"Let your mind start a journey to a strange, new world;  
leave all thoughts of thelife you knew before.  
Let your soul take you where you long to be!"_

Erik's voice echoed into the night and I closed my eyes before he seductively whispered,

_"Only then can you belong to me."_

Erik protectively wrapped his arms around me, drawing me close tohim. I rested my head against his chest, listening to the glorious sound reverbrate within him.

_"Floating, falling, sweet intoxication.  
Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation.  
Let the dream begin,  
let your darker side give in  
to the power of themusic that I write,  
the power of the music of the night."_

I found that I couldn't just stand here any longer. Being so close to such and incredible and enticing man like Erik was too much and I needed him now. I turned around, looped my arms around his neck and pulled him intoa deep, soulful kiss. Immediately he wrapped his arms around me, letting his hands rest on my hips and pulled my body flush against his own. Suddenly, Erik pulled away. My heart fluttered violently as Erik took my hand and got downon one knee with pleading, ever adoring eyes.

_"You alone can make my song take flight,"_

He reached inside his cloak, taking out a red rose and tied to it with a black ribbon was one of the most beautiful rings I had ever seen in my life.

"Oh my God, Erik," I whispered in awe.

_"Help me make the music of the night..."_

Erik's voice drifted away as I looked at him, feeling every inch of me become entirely numb. There was no way this could be happening!

"Well Meg, will you have me?"

I couldn't speak. The words were caught in my throat, so I responded the only way that I could. I pounced on him, kissing Erik as passionately as I could. I knocked him onto the ground, but we didn't stop, instead kissing me with just as much vigorace.

He pulled back breathessly. "So I guess that's a yes?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"You said yes," Erik said, trying to get reality to sink in. "You said yes. You said yes!" He chanted those words over and over, picking me up and twirling me around. I laughed, enjoying the mind-numbing happiness that overtook me. I just couldn't belive it. I was going to be married to the Phantom of the Opera. I was Erik's _fiancee_.

Erik stopped for a moment, pausing to wipe some snowflakes out of my hair.

"So, um, what do you think we should do for the wedding. I was thinking about lots of flowers and a whole orchestra, something big."

To be honest I didn't really want anything big and elaborate. I couldn't even think of anyone to invite. My parents were dead, Erik didn't know anyone else as far as I knew, and I had lost touch with Christine, who was the only person I would have ever thought of inviting from the opera house.

"How about we just have something simple with just the two of us."

"Anything for my angel," he replied with a smile.

**Yes, I know that Music of the Night is incredibly overused in phics, but I had this whole idea about using the last verse as like words to propose to someone with so that is why I used the song. Sorry if it got annoying, songphic chapters are a little difficult for me.**

**Also I forgot to do this in the last chapter, but I would like to give a big thankyou to my hundreth reviewer Nameless Waif! And also thankyou very much all of you who have been reviewing! Sorry I can't do the review replies but I will as soon as we can again.**

**I'll try to have the next chapter up soon as possible. Please review!**


	13. We Deserve Each Other

**I'm so glad you guys liked Erik's little proposal. Just a little idea I've had for a while but haven't had a chance to use. I had actually been debating between Music of the Night and All I Ask of You, so I ended up having a setting like All I Ask of You, but since we're talking about Erik proposing I was like MUSIC OF THE NIGHT ALL THE WAY! **

**Also, just so I don't get in trouble, I have decided to start doing review replies via email, so if you guys want me to reply, just leave your email in your review.**

**I know that this is a short chapter, but I shall definitely make up for it with the next one.**

_13. We Deserve Eachother_

The next day Erik and I were very busy planning for the wedding. He set out first thing in the morning to find a priest and a church. He returned two hours later, saying that he had found a nice little church outside Paris where we would be married in a week. It would be private with just the two of us, just as I had hoped. My buquet would consist of a small bundle of red and white roses, which would match the flowers on the alter.

Later that day we set out for my wedding gown, stopping in a small tailor shop called Madame Adler's. An old woman, Madame Adler herself greeted us and took me into a back room to be measured. Before she took me back, Erik whispered in my ear that I could have any dress I wanted. After measuring, she pulled out a bunch of designs. I looked through all of them, gazing upon expensive and beautiful dresses, but for some reason none of them seemed to appeal to me. They were all too outlandish and just not my style. I wanted something simple, yet elegant. At last, near the end of the huge pile, I found a dress that was exactly what I had been looking for. It was white silk with cream colored lace sleeves and a pink sash went around the waist, matching the headband of the veil. It opened up in the front, fanning out to reveal light cream silk under the white and had a small train. The dress was not the most expensive or the most elaborate; it had a elegance to it that just seemed to be exactly what I was looking for.

"I'll take this one," I told her, handing her the design.

"Very well my dear," she replied. I went out to the front room to meet Erik, where Madame Adler was showing him my choice. Erik put a down payment ondress and we left the shop and walked out into the cold weather together.

"You know Meg, you could have chosen something more elaborate. I do have the money for such things."

"Why, you didn't like it?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that I want to take every opportunity to spoil my lovely soon-to-be bride."

I laughed at his comment. "You do spoil me Erik," I replied, looking down fondly at my ring. "But I didn't want anything terribly elaborate. I wanted something simple and pretty."

"Anything for you dear. Oh, wait, I need to stop in here for a moment. Stay right here, I'll be out in a moment," he said before running in a small clockmaker's shop. What on earth could he be doing in there? I waited for a few minutes before Erik came out and we returned home to a roaring fire and warm mugs of hot chocolate.

* * *

As the days slowly passed by I found that I could not contain my excitement for the wedding, nor my anticipation for our wedding night. It was ironic that I had once detested seduction, now I could hardly wait for it to begin. Then again, Erik was certainly no other man. He was loving and gentle and made me feel incredibly lucky to be loved by him. I wanted to get that close to him, to unite with him in the blessed passion that had been missing during those hellish nights. I had even tried convincing Erik to give into it too, but every time it was the same response: 

"No Meg, not yet, but very soon."

"Please Erik, I want you so very much."

"And do you have any idea how incredibly hard it is not to give into your charms? It's torture Meg, it burns."

"Then why not give in? I want to be with you Erik. You make me feel loved. You can show me the true passion and love that had been missing all of those times before. You can make me feel whole."

He took my hands in his and looked me directly into the eyes. "I want to do that Meg, I really do, but the past is exactly why I want to wait until we are married. I want to show you that this is real. I want to prove to you that this isn't just another trist, that this love is going to last and I will stay with you no matter what happens."

I sat there, just looking at him for a moment, listening to his words echo in my head. _'No matter what.'_ It had been the first time anyone had ever said anything like that. I understood now. This was his true way to prove that he wasn't like the others. It touched me deeply. "Oh Erik," I said, feeling a tear fall, "I don't deserve you."

He took me into his arms, letting me cry against his shoulder. "Mon ange, if anything, I don't deserve you. This is the least I can do toshow how much I love you."

"You know," I said with a sniffle, "since we don't think we deserve each other, maybe it is enough to make us having each other worth it."

Erik smiled and laid me down, pulling me closer to him. "I love you so much Meg."

"I love you too, Erik." I snuggled closer to him before falling asleep.

**Yes, more fluff. I wrote this just to separate the proposal from the wedding and just incase you've been wondering why Erik and Meg have not... done anything yet, this should explain why. Please review!**


	14. One Last Vow

**Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun. Yes, its one of the chapter's we've all been waiting for, WEDDING DAY! **

**Okay, after some thought and laziness, I decided to hell with whatever the people in charge of the sight say about review replies. Until I get in trouble for it, I'm just gonna do replies anyway.**

**And I'm sorry this chapter took so long. One of my close aunts died last week and then on top of that I've been on vacation so I haven't had much of a chance to write. (Here on out is deticated to you Aunt Lib!)**

**Aronoded: Yay! You liked the last chapters. Ya, one of the best things about checking on updates after a while is finding out that there are a ton of new chapters. Thanks for your review!**

**HPROXMYSOX: Yay! Yes, I loved the fluff too. I wasn't terribly pleased with that chapter, but it came out decently. I hope you enjoy this chapter cuz I sure enjoyed writing it. Thats so cool that you're in Beauty and the Beast. I was actually in it too a few years ago and I never had as much fun as I did when I was in it. I couldn't help but put more of that show in this story either, as you can tell from this chapter.**

**Mutinous Phantom: Yay! I'm glad you like it. Ya, I know that the little angel thing is a little two Christine-ish cuz I was starting to feel a little of that myself and I was like NO SHE IS GONE, but I was getting sick of all the "my loves" and "my dears". Who knows, I'll try to think of something else. Actually, (spoiler here) Erik's old obsession isn't going to return, but that doesn't mean that Erik and Meg are just gonna have it easy from here on and our favorite dark and murderous Erik is going to make a return. Thanks for your review and I hope you like this chapter!**

**Charity: Omg I'm so glad you liked that line! I was trying to think of something like that for this part but I wasn't quite sure and ended up with that. I'm so glad you liked it though. It makes me feel intelligent.**

**I Love Gerry: Thanks, I'm glad you like the fluff. Actually, (and I know I never mentioned this) Meg got stuck with Erik in January and the wedding is in November so it's kinda close to a year. I hope that isn't too fast. But you are right, is there possibly anyone on Earth who could resist Erik? Actually, I don't have a live journal account, but if you want to get in touch with me, I've got my email and screen name in my profile so feel free to contact me! Thanks for your review!**

**Nameless Waif: Ya, review replies can be a pain in the butt, but I still like doing them anyway. Thanks for all the yays. Here is your update!**

**Blissful Rose: Yay! I'm glad you like it so much! Thanks for your review and here is the update.**

**Emily singing reflection: Wow, I'm touched! I call it fluff just because of all the romance that has been going on. I'm glad you think it's deep though. That's what I've been aiming for. I'm flattered!**

**ThePhantomsShadow: Thanks for all the wonderfuls! I'm glad you liked that last chapter. This one is loaded with fluff. Even though I'm still doing review replies now, I'lltry to do email anyway. **

**meeka: Yes, I know I have been very evil. I'm glad you like my interpretation of Erik though. It's so much fun to create his character because there are so many different sides of him. I'm glad you like the fluff too! Thanks for your review and here is your update. **

**Meg Giry the Angel of Dance: I like your penname! Don't worry, there is still much more to come! Yes, E/M phics are terribly addicting. They are a little more realistic than the countless E/C and EOW stories out there and much more enjoyable. And don't worry, wedding night is the next chapter. I do have it written down, but since the idea is already on paper and out of my head, I'll need to type it and that may be a little difficult since my mom will skin me alive if she finds it because she thinks I'm a little too obsessed with Phantom. Then again, she's probably right, but she doesn't need to know that. Nothing wrong with a little POTO obsession! **

**whitedragon235: Don't worry, there is still much more left! And the wedding night will be the next chapter but it's going to be hard to find time to type it up so that will be the only delay. **

**Thanks for all of your lovely reviews!**

_14. One Last Vow_

Tonight was my last night as Erik's fiancee and everything was ready to go. My dress was hanging up in the wardrobe, the buquet of roses was sitting on my nightstand, and Erik had a fresh suit out. While waiting for those torturing hours to pass, Erik and I sat on the shore of the lake, resting in each other's embrace and enjoying the beauty that night possessed. I couldn't have been more content. Suddenly, I remembered an old superstition and tradition.

"Erik?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"What are we going to do about tomorrow?"

"What do you mean?"

"I remembered that old tradition about bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding or it will be bad luck."

"Do you really believe that old wive's tale?"

"Not really, I just like to keep traditions."

Erik thought for a moment trying to come up with a way to make this work out. "What if you leave before I do and get to the church first. Then I'll get there later. Besides, I have a small errand to make anyway."

"That should work."

An question I had often thought about was still in the back of my mind and decided that it would not stay there any longer. "Erik, I have a question for you."

"Yes?"

"When you first told me your name you said that you didn't have a surname. What will my name become then?"

"Well actually, I was hoping that I could use your's."

I was very surprised. It was incredibly uncommon for a man ot take the woman's name. "Really/"

"If you will let me."

"Of course!"

A toll from the grandfather clock caught our attention, signalling that it was 11:45.

"We should go to bed," Erik suggested. "We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

I knew he was right and got up, making the way to my room. I noticed that Erik didn't follow me.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"As much as this pains me, our plan is not going to work if I stay with you tonight. But don't worry, tomorrow night should be able to make up for it," he added slyly.

"Will you at least tuck me in?" I asked like a little child.

"Of course, my dear." I laid down and Erik pulled the covers over me and kissed my forhead.

"Good night Erik," I whispered.

"Good night, mon amour. Sweet dreams."

Try as I might, I found that it was very hard to actually sleep that night. My excitement was too overpowering to sleep deeply. But somehow or other I managed to get a few solid hours in.

* * *

On the dawn of November 12, at 7:30 in the morning I was wide awake and ready to go. I felt like a child at Christmas. It was so hard to believe that I was actually getting married, especially to the compassionate, caring, and all around amazing man that Erik was. In a matter of hours he would be my husband and I guess you could say that I would take up the title _Phantomess_ of the Opera. And tonight, oh yes, tonight I would indulge myself entirely in passion and pleasure. What a day, and it had barely begun! 

I sat down at the vanity and put on some makeup, just enough to enhance my features. I couldn't decide what to do about my hair, so I ended up pulling some of it back with a pink ribbon that matched the sash. The dress would be saved for the church; it would be easier to get there that way and it would prevent it from getting dirty before the wedding began.

When I was done, I grabbed my dress and buquet and got into the boat tying a long rope to it so Erik could pull it back. After making my way through the tunnels I got a cab and headed off to the church. I knew that I liked the little chapel as soon as I saw it. It was small and quaint, yet beautiful as its white steeple stood against the early morning, winter sky. As soon as I walked in a little priest who suited the church very well came to greet me.

"Ah, you must be Meg. I'm Father Pierre."

"Pleased to meet you Father," I said, shaking his hand. "My fiancee should be here shortly."

"Oh yes, Erik. He is a fine man. I can tell that you two will be very happy together."

"Thank you Father."

The old priest led me to a small room int he vestibule where I would change and wait there until it was time. I looked back at him, feeling as though a block of ice had just slipped down my throat and I knew that from his knowing look that he had seen the fear in my eyes.

"Here, take this," he said, reaching into his pocket and taking out a rosary with white beads. "The Blessed Mother will help calm you."

When Father Pierre left, I closed the door and changed into my gown and veil. For the finishing touch, I put on a gold chain that had a small, pink crystal rose on it. My father had given it to my mother the day of their wedding and she had given it to me after he died. I clutched the rose amulet as I took adeep breath and turned around to see myself as a bride for the first time.I couldn't believe what I saw in the mirror. _'Is that really me?'_ I wasn't vain, but I had to admit that I had never looked or felt more beautiful in my entire life. The dress loooked stunning, clinging to the right places, showing just enough cleavage to still be modest while the skirt fanned out around me. The veil hung down with grace, delicately framing my face. I just hoped that Erik liked the way I looked too.

I had lost track of time as I sat in the little room, feeling an entire swarm of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I had never been so nervous before in my whole life, not even during my first time on stage. I occupied myself by doing everything imaginable; checking to make sure that every detail was right over and over again, whistling and twiddling my thumbs, singing and humming little songs to myself, and occasionally praying feverently to my mother. My gaze drifted over to the rosary. I picked it up and wound it around my wrist hoping it might offer comfort. _"Immaculate Mother, guide me.'_ There was a sudden knock at the door and I opened it to finda little alter boy and I hastily pulled the veil over my face.

"We're ready ma'amselle."

_'Oh God in heaven help me!'_ I thought as my stomach did flips. I clutched my rose to me as I approached the doors, knowing tht this as truly the final threshold. With a very deep breath I started my walk down the aisle as the wedding march began. I looked at Erik and almost laughed when I saw his eyes and mouth drop wide open. I smiled upon him. Erik was every bit the handsome groom I imagined, looking incredibly stunning in his black suit. My eyes wandered over to where the crucifix hung. I could have sworn that I sw my mother smile and wink at me before disappearinginto the air. _'Thanks maman, I know you're here.'_ At last I reached the alter and Erik took my hand.

"You look so beautiful," he whispered.

I smiled in reply and turned to face the priest.

""We are gathered here today," Father began, "to witness the union of this man and this woman in holy matrimony."

And so the wedding began. Throughout the service, Erik's gripbecame increasingly painful, though I was sure that my own was close to matching his. But when the moment came to exchange our vows, I thought that he might crush my hand. His voice had become considerably weaker and I even saw a tear slip from underneath the mask. I held his hand tighter, giving him all of my support.

"I, Erik, take you Meg to be my wife; in good times and in bad; for richer and for poorer; in sickness and in health; till death do us part. I will love you and cherish you all the days of my life."

Oh God, I was my turn. I felt my heart beat nervously as I recited the words that I meant from the bottom of my soul.

"I, Meg, take you Erik to be my husband; in good times and in bad; for richer and for poorer; in sickness and in health; till death do us part. I will love you and cherish you all the days of my life," I finished with tears choking my throat.

Father Pierre blessed our rings and Erik slipped the brilliant diamond onto my finger.

"Meg, take this ring as a symbol of my love and fidelity."

I picked up the simple gold band that was meant for Erik and slipped it on him.

"Erik, take this ring as a symbol of my love and fidelity."

I looked up at Erik, whose gorgeous eyes glistened with tears. He smiled a genuine smile, knowing that this was the moment of truth.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," Father Pierre said._'husband and wife.'_ Those wonderful words echoed in my head. I was Erik's wife! No more loneliness, no more hellish nights as a whore, no more sorrow or pain. In this binding I found new freedom, knowing that at last I would have a place to call home and someone in this miserable world who would love me. "You may kiss the bride."

Erik carefully pulled the veil up and cupped my chin in his palm. "I love you," he whispered before our lips met in a gently kiss. We broke away, deciding to save the more intimate kisses for later.

"Father I can't thank you enough," Erik said, shaking Father Pierre's hand.

"My pleasure. Good luck and God bless!" he said as Erik and I strolled arm-in-arm up the aisle feeling completely happy. Before we left, Erik grabbed two cloaks; one black and one white handing the white one to me. He hailed a cab and soon we were off.

"So, where are we going, my dear husband?" I asked, loving the way that new word felt on my tongue as I rested in Erik's embrace.

"Home, my lovely wife," he replied, drawing me closer.

"You mean to get to _that_ already?"

"No, no!" he laughed. "There are some things I have planned, like dinner for example. But if you insist..."

Erik leaned over, pulling me into a deep kiss and sliding his tongue over mine. I moaned pulling him down on the seat, not caring where we were. However, a sudded jolt sent Erik rolling onto the floor of the carriage, causing him to hit his head against the door.

"Perhaps we should at least wait until we get home," he suggested, rubbing his head and I giggled, knowing that he was right. When we arrived back home, Erik paid the driver and we returned to our underground home. As soon as we reached the shore, Erik set off to start dinner. I noticed that he had set up a table with two candles after I had left. In no time, Erik returned with bowls full of pasta, salad, a loaf of bread, and a bottle of wine that actually tasted good this time. I took a bite of the pasta and knew that I had never tasted any cuisine as good as this.

"Mmm Erik you sure do spoil me. This is delicious!"

"I was hoping that you would like it. Besides, you're my wife now; I'm, supposed to spoil you."

When we were done eating, I helped Erik clean up. Then he took me over to the organ and sat me down besides him on the bench. He looked at me for a moment, his piercing eyes taking in everything.

"You know Meg, when you walked down that aisle, I hardly recognized you. You looked so incredibly beautiful, heavenly beautiful."

Erik stopped, leaving us in an awkward silence as I stared back at him, feeling a bit of my soul weep from his voice. I didn't have to reply. Erik understood what I felt without words. He took out a few sheet sof music and propped them up on the organ.

"This is a little song that you inspired me to write. It's also that little project that I had been hiding from you. I hope you like it."

" I like all of your music Erik."

He smiled nervously and I could tell that there was something about this piece that made the situation different from any other time when he would play something for me. With a pause, he began to play, gently caressing the keys and producing some light and soothing chords that made me feel very peaceful. Immediately I recognized the first few bars of that same, gentle lullaby that I had sought to hear so many times. Erik began to sing and I sat there and listend, feeling my heart swelling with love and pride for him with every note.

_"Tale as old as time,  
true as it can be.  
Barely even friends,  
then somebody bends  
unexpectedly._

_"Just a little change.  
Small, to say the least.  
Both a little scared,  
neither one prepared.  
Beauty and the Beast."_

I found myself enchanted by Erik's song, swept away by it's soothing melody and touched by the truth, yet simple sweetness in his lyrics. He looked over at me, smiling as he continued and sparkling with gaining confidence.

_"Ever just the same.  
Ever a surprise.  
Ever as before,  
ever just as sure  
as the sun will rise."_

I closed my eyes, loving the way Erik's voice increased in warmth and richness as it increased in volume.

_"Tale as old as time.  
Tune as old as song.  
Bittersweet and strange,  
finding you can change,  
learning you were wrong._

_"Certain as the sun  
rising in the East.  
Tale as old as time,  
song as old as rhyme,  
Beauty and the Beast."_

Erik's eyes closed as he sang the last bit in barely more than a whisper.

_"Tale as old as time,  
song as old as rhyme.  
Beauty and the Beast."_

Erik finished the last measure and looked at me with eyes full of untold emotion. I couldn't speak. He had put his heart, soul, and entire being into his work, making it something more than beautiful could even come close to describing.

"Erik..." I started, but all words faltered to describe what I felt.

"Wait, there is still one thing left." He reached over, handing me a small package. "Open it."

I pulled the paper away to reveal a small box decorated in dark blue and lined with gold. I lifted the lid, finding a tiny dancer dressed in pink twirling around inside. Immediately, the box began to play the song that Erik had composed for me. I looked closer at the inside of the lid where there was a small sentence engraved.

_"For my wife Meg, who found the man within the beast. -Erik"_

I looked up at Erik with tears brimming my eyes. His eyes held a gentle, knowing gaze that saw right through me, down into the depths of my soul.

"Erik... I love you so much," I whispered, pressing my lips against his. Fire immediately shot through my veins. Both of us pulled back, knowingthat the true events of tonight could not be delayed any longer and there was no choice but to let it begin.

**Yes, I know that I am incredibly evil for cutting you guys off like that. I'll try to post the next chapter as soon as possible, but due to the uh, content it's gonna be hard to type.**

**Sorry but I just couldn't resist more BatB. I wanted to have Erik sing something for Meg and I just wanted something simple so I just did it anyway.**


	15. Bring me to Life

**I'm so sorry this took so long! But, as I said in the last chapter, it was going to be hard to post this one, but I did it and I'm still alive! However, due to the sad fact that school starts on Monday for me and most people, update time is gonna be limited to whatever free time I have, which will probably be weekends.**

**Okay, I know I said that I was stopping review replies and ended up doing them anyway, I've noticed that more authors have stopped replies and it's making me worried so I have come up to an alternative. Because I have come to the conclusion that I am too lazy to do them via email, I have decided to post replies to each succeding chapter on my profile. So after this chapter, check there for replies.**

**Review Replies:**

**Emily singing reflection: Yay! I'm so glad you like my phic so much!Kudos to one of my ever-faithful reviewers!Don't worry though, I'm being careful. Thanks for your review!**

**LadyJaye: Aw, I'm glad you thought it was worth the wait. I hope you think the same of this one too. Oh my goodness, I'm sorry I made you cry! But that certainly touches me deeply. I really wanted it to be special and there were a couple parts in it where I was like eh, I could have done better and so that just totally made my day. I'm sorry about ur allergies, I definitely feel ur pain! Thanks for your review and here is your update!**

**littledaae323: Omg I loved your review! So true, let's let it begin! I know I've been keeping it from you guys for so long and I'm sorry for the wait. I actually had it written long ago, it just took a while to get it typed. I'm glad you really got how much Erik loves Meg. I always try to show it as best I can but sometimes I feel like I could have done better, but you made me feel better. Yay, you liked the part in the carriage! I was hoping someone would mention that. That had to be one of my favorite parts. I just couldn't resist. After all, Erik is amiddle agedsocial outcastwho has been deprived of a physical relationship his whole life, what is there to expect when he finally has the opportunity? Thanks so much for your review and I hope this chapter fills your expectations!**

**ThePhantomsShadow: Yay! I'm glad you liked the wedding so much. That was probably one of my favorite chapters to write. It allowed me to go all out with fluff and romance. And I'm glad you liked my use of beauty and the beast. I just couldn't resist.I've started to notice that most of my work has another musical underlying Phantom and I guess this one just happened to be it. And the song was so incredibly perfect. I wanted something simple and sweet and the lyrics just seemed to summarize everything perfectlyso I just gave in and shoved it in there. Not to mentionI thought that Gerry would sound very nice singing it.And I love that song so much that it makes me cry. Well, I hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations! Thanks so much for your reviews and support! **

**XoAnGeL-Of ThE-NiGhToX: Yay! A new reviewer! I'm so glad that you like my story! Thanks for your review and here is your update!**

**Crimson Rose to Ebony: Cool! Belle is one of my favorite princesses. I mean, she just rocks all around! Also tell whoever is Jasmine that she also rocks because Jasmine is my other favorite. Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin have got to be my all time favorite disney movies, so naturally, I couldn't resist. I'm glad you like my story so much! Thanks for your review and here is your update.**

**Charity: Thanks! I'm glad someone else liked the lyrics. They just seemed to tie everything up so nicely and I thought that Beauty and the Beast and No One Would Listen were just kind of similar songs with the way they are simple but pretty, so I also could picture Gerry singing that song as well. And, like I said in my author's note, I'm gonna try to get away with it by doing them in my profile.**

**Mutinous Phantom: Aw, ya, BatB wasand still is one of my favorite disney songs. And the return of evil killer Erik is onlyabout four chapters away. Meg is alsogonna return to herlittle mean, get-away-from-me self, but not on Erik, so if you liked her that way, it's something else to look forward to. Lol, yes you have been a good dutifulreader. I'm just sorry this chapter took so long topost. It was hard finding time to type it. I hope you like it though.**

**JennyWren: Aw, yay! I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much. I really enjoyed writing it. Thanks so much for your sympathy. Things are getting better. Thanks for your review and here is your update!**

**Little Ballet Rat: Yay! I'm glad you liked that chappie so much! Thanks for your review and here is your update!**

**HPROXMYSOX: Wow, that awesome! Gotta love a full house! We had a good crowd for when I did that show 2. I did BatB through the same camp that I just did Aladdin with and actually I was Belle, but it was also a children's production so there wasn't much competition, but it was still so much fun! I still cry every time I hear that song. But you've go a good part too! I love the silly girl people! You guys are like hilarious! And you are right, they are kinda the village whores. I'm glad you liked that chapter. It had to be one of my favorite chapters to write. Thanks for the review!**

**Nameless Waif: Ya, Beauty and the Beast has got to be one of my favorites 2! As for the wedding part, I was kinda just going along trying to remember stuff and mostly got ideas from West Side Story.** **And just to warn you this chappie is gonna get a little intimate, so if 2 Hearts freaked you out, this one might too. If you do read it, I'm sorry about all the typos because I had no time whatsoever to proof everything (I was in a hurry to finish finishing touches in 15 minutes on Sunday). I loved your review. See you at school (why must we meet on such a sad occassion!).**

**_WARNING_: Okay, If you've been following this story,you have probably figured out that this chapter is about Meg and Erik's wedding night, therefore, things are gonna be a little heated. If you do not have the stomach for this type of stuff, then don't read it. Sorry if it offends anyone. I'm just trying to tell the story of 2 passionate people the way it is.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own.**

_15. Bring Me to Life_

Hesitantly, Erik pulled me onto his lap, gently brushing his lips against my own. Immediately I felt desire rekindling itself in my viens. I gave in, throwing my arms around his neck deepening and intesifying the kiss. At last, the night I haddreamed of during my nights in hell was a reality. Tonight would bedifferent from the darkness of before. No more nights of pain andsorrow, no more want and no more sadness. The past would be put behind me and no longer wouldI want for loveagain.Erik swept me up into his arms and carried me into the bedroom as I nuzzled my face into his neck, ever grateful to belong to him. He carefully laid me down on the luscious, velvet sheets and instantly our eyes locked. I felt myself drowning in his gaze, in eyes so blue, so incredibly pure. Suddenly my mood plummeted. Those eyes were so pureand untainted in their light, quite unlike myself.I felt so dirty and unclean from the activities of the past. None of this felt right anymore. How could he want me, a whore who had been polluted by other men so many times? Erik deserved a virgin bride, one that could truly give herself to him for the first time, not a tainted one like me. He didn't deserve my sullied body. I got up from the bed and turned away, feeling bitter tears brimming my eyes.

"Meg, I don't understand this, but if it pains you, I will not hold you to this, just please don't cry my love," he said soothingly while wrapping me in his embrace.

"No Erik, that's not it," I replied, trying to hide the tears in my voice.

"Please tell me," he asked, turning my face towards his.

"It's just... you don't deserve me, not a whore. You deserve a virgin bride, the bride I can never be."

"Meg," he sweetly whispered in my ear, "I love you just the way you are. Both of us must forget about our pasts. Just think of our future together."

I smiled at him, leaning back into his arms. Gently, Erik ghosted his lips over my neck, trying to comfort me. But it was turning into more. I could feel his soothingkisses awakening a desirethat no man had ever been ableto summonbefore. I slowly slid my hand under the mask, letting it fall and caressing the marred flesh of his face lovingly. Instantly Erik froze as I stroked his face and I noticed how he weakened under my touch, his body shaking and his breath wavering, but I knew that he could easily turn his own powers on me.

"Please Erik," I whispered, surprising myself with thedesire that was overtaking me now that Erik hadwiped away my sadness. "Only you can make up for the wrongs committed against me. Make me yours entirely. Make love to me."

I could feel the effect of my words on Erik as he began to press more desperate kisses to the sensative skin of my neck and move his hands over my abdomen and hips, familliarizing themselves with the curves of my body. I pressed myself against his back, wanting him more than ever.With a moan, I let my head fall back onto his chest, letting him take care of the seducing.

After a few tantalizing minutes I found that I could not take any more of this and my lips were burning for his kiss. I turned around, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pressed my lips to his, my tongue begging for entrance. Erik succumbed to my demands and still I found that I could not get enough of him. My hands slid over his torso, fumbling with the buttons of his vest before pulling it off. Immediately Erik pulled back. Perhaps I had surprised him a bit with my boldness. His eyes reflected his confusion as well as anxiety. I smiled nervously, understanding that I would make love to a man for the very first time.

"Whats wrong?" I asked.

"I'm... I'm just not sure what to do. Besides, you've been in this kind of situation far more than I have."

"Erik, please don't worry. Follow your heart . There are no barriers between us. I am yours and you are mine. Just do what feels right. Nothing is stopping me," I added wryly, feeling a crimson blush rise to my cheeks. All of the doubt in Erik's eyes vanished and he came back full and strong, kissing me ardently. My hands returned to his chest and began to work on his cravat and finally his shirt. At last I undid the last button and slid it off, feeling smooth skin beneath the fabric. I pulled back absolutely awed by the sight of my husband shirtless. I knew that he was well built, but this had certainly exceeded my imagination. My eyes swept over his thin body, hungrily taking in his taught abdomen, sculpted torso, and strong arms.

"God, you're so handsome," I growled with raw passion twisted into my voice, allowing our lips to meet again. Eagerly I let my hands wander all over his torso, loving the feel of his soft, warmskin and the firm ripple of his muscle beneath my palm. I felt Erik's trembling hands unhooking my dress. It fell to the floor, leaving me in my undergarments and him in his pants. Again we viciously returned to the remaining clothes, desperate to reach tonight's ultimate goal. At last there were no barriers between us and all defences were dropped. We paused in our mad race, taking in the sight of each other'sbare fleshfor the first time. I felt my breath catch in my throat as my eyes wandered over my husband's perfect figure and I found myself speechless. During my time in the brothels I had seen many men naked, far more times than I wanted to and still some of those eyesores remained burned into my memory. But Erik... Erik had a body that was so incredibly godlike that it was unhuman. He was just perfect, perfect in every way, and best of all, he was _mine_.

My eyes returned to his own and I noticed that his eyes were still taking in my own figure. I felt a crimson blush of modesty rose to my cheeks, which surprised me. It wasn't like I hadn't stood in front of a man naked before, but this was different. This was Erik, my beloved husband who had made my life worth living. His opinion mattered to me. His eyes met mine and I watched with amusement as his cheeks turned an adorable shade of red now that he realized he had been caught.

"Meg", he whispered almost inaudible. He slowly walked towards me and slid his hands behind my neck, tangling them in my hair. "You're so... beautiful..." The way he said those simple words breathlessly made me shiver. In an instant he delivered a mind-numbing kiss. I succumbed to his lips as he scooped me up and laid me down on the sheets, my skin welcoming the soft, velvet texture. Carefully Erik rested on top of me and immediately I was overcome by him.

"Mmm, Erik," I moaned, absolutely undone from his warm, smooth body resting over my own. I let my head fall back onto the pillow, soaking in this wonderful sensation.

"Meg, my love" he whispered and I could feel his chest heavily rising and falling. Erik claimed my lips once more before making his way down my neck and pausing to nip at my collar bone. I felt his hands gently slide over my midriff, coming to rest on my breasts, igniting my flesh. How often I had envied that organ, wishing I could know of Erik's caress as it did. I moaned, finding that it was getting harder to breath, but I never wanted this sweet seduction to stop.

Gradually Erik crept lower, lightly brushing his hands over my chest, tickling my stomach and thighs until I felt him penetrate my very core, sending a surge of electricity through my body. He looked at me with a wicked smile playing on his lucious lips before replacing his finger with his mouth, pleasing me as intimately as possible. My mind was reeling.I felt like I was ready to burst. I let out a deep moan, urging Erik on, wanting more and more until I found that this was not enough and that I could not wait any longer.

"Please Erik, I need you!"

Slowly Erik kissed his way back up, making this the most wondeful agony I had ever known. He tickled the sensative skin by my ear with his lips and I let out a small giggle, enjoying the way my husband made me feel so loved.

"God you are exquisite," he whispered into my ear.

I slid my hands over his chest, savoring his soft skin under my touch. My hands went further, down his thin but firm abdomen. With curiousity, they skimmed over his hardened flesh, and I watched as Erik took in a sharp breath before he dropped his head, emmitting a low, primitive moan that sounded like my name. Suddenly he snapped out of his trance and I knew that the inevitable could be delayed no longer. He cupped my head delicately in his hands, tangling my hair in his fingers. Immediately our eyes locked and in that moment I felt like his eyes were penetrating my soul. Erik shifted on top of me and I braced myself for the immediate brutal rocking to begin. But it didn't. He slowly slid into me, truly uniting us as husband and wife and in that moment, I felt complete. I let my head fall back on the pillow and closed my eyes, absorbing everything at once; his chest rising and falling against my own, his smooth skin, the feeling of us truly together. I felt myself drifting into a surreal peace, knowing that this overpowering love present here and now had been the missing factor in the mindless sex of before. This was what I had wanted. This was the night I had longed for during those empty ones. I quietly moaned my husband's name, glorifying the name of my savoir, my lover.

I opened my eyes, noticing that Erik still had his eyes closed. They slowly opened and he looked at me, his blue orbs shimmering with love, silently asking me if I was ready. I nodded and soon he began gently rocking in and out of my tight warmth sending a delicious, warm tingling sensation throughout my body. I moaned my husband's name, smiling as I felt this blissful, tremulouswarmth spread all the way to my fingertips as a flame was ignited in my body. I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to sink deeper within me.

"Oh Meg, my little dancer, I love you so much," Erik whispered, pressing delicate kisses to my neck and chest while carefully increasing the tempo of our lovemaking.

Gradually our passion became more fierce and needy with Erik's sweet ministrations turning into desperate thrusts as we continued to move in the passionate dance of love's duet. Yet still I wanted more, to reach the true peak of passion.

"Oh Erik, please, more!" I cried out, my voice thick with desire.

"Yes, sing love, sing for _me_!" Erik moaned, plunging into my body even faster than before as I felt our love reach its creshendo.

I cried out my beloved's name, feeling myself explode from this mind-blowing feeling. "_Erik!_'

Slowly the dire lust and want of the evening began to subside and Erik gently collapsed on top of me as we tried to catch our breaths and our bodies slowed down after such powerful release. Erik rested his head on my chest and I felt his tears running over myflesh in warm rivulets.

"Oh Meg, I love you so much," he whispered reverently and I felt his lips brushing against my soft skin.

"I love you too, Erik," I replied tenderly while running my fingers through his wavy black hair, enjoying the intimacy of the moment.

I started to drift off to sleep, but I found that though Erik was thin, he was still bigger than me and starting to get heavy.

"Erik," I whispered, "Erik love, wake up."

He slowly began to stir. "Is it morning already?"

"No, it's just, well, you're starting to get heavy."

"Oh, sorry." Erik rolled off, letting me move out from underneath him. I laid back down on my side and Erik moved over, drawing me against his chest and resting his head by the crook of my neck. His arm rested around my waist, caressing my stomach. Oh yes, this was much more comfortable.

"I love Erik," I said, moving closer to him.

"I love you too Meg," he whispered before kissing my cheek. I had found peace at last.

**Well, there ya go. I hope it was worth the wait. I'll try to get the next one up this weekend. Tell me if you liked it!**


	16. Simple Joys of Marriage

**I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter!**

**As I said last time, due to the whole thing about no more review replies, I have decided to post them in my profile, so if you care about them, just check there. I'll get them up as soon as possible. **

_16. Simple Joys of Marriage_

Something soft was tickling my shoulder and I knew perfectly well what it was. With a moan, I rolled over, not quite yet ready to leave the peace I had found.

"Come on Meg, you have to get up. It's almost noon."

Reluctantly I opened my eyes. Immediately I was met by Erik's loving gaze. I smiled softly, so grateful to have him. It was just one of those times when I wondered why the world seemed to frown upon him. His thick black hair, tousled from last night, hung lazily over his face and fell into his eyes, making him look younger. His sky blue eyes reflected the candlelight and shined with the purest happiness I had ever seen. Even the ravaged side of his face had softened into a gentle look. He was beautiful.

"I don't ever want to leave this bed. Please Erik, just a little longer?" I looked at him pleadingly.

His eyes softened and he sighed in defeat. "Why do you always make it so hard for me to deny you?"

Erik slid back under the covers, taking me into his arms and ran his fingers through my hair. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, unable to get close enough to him. I always wanted to get closer and closer to Erik. It seemed as though the more I got, the more I wanted. I could never get enough of him and I wanted it to stay that way. I rested my head on Erik's chest, lazily tracing his scars and letting the steady beat of his heart lure me back to sleep. It seemed as though I had just closed my eyes when Erik woke me.

"Meg, we really do need to get up."

"Huh? What time is it?"

"One o'clock in the afternoon."

I light blush rose to my cheeks. I had not realized that we had been in here that long. Though I wanted to stay here forever, a rumble from my stomach reminded me that I still needed to eat something.

"I guess we should at least get something to eat," I sighed. We reluctantly climbed out of bed and I grabbed a night gown to throw on. I turned around for a moment. Erik had already put on some pants and was about to put on a robe. The sight of his bare upper body caused lust to surge through me and I could feel all of the desires from last night returning. I stared hungrily with wide eyes, always unable to get enough of him. Erik caught my gaze and raised his brow, a smirk playing on his face. Heat rose to my cheeks now that I had been caught. In a heartbeat, Erik pulled me to him, crushing his lips to my own as I willingly gave in, causing heat to rise from my lower belly, a heat I was very familiar with now. To my disappointment, he broke away.

"Let's eat first."

I looked at him with my mouth wide open, still in shock. How was he supposed to expect me to just eat now that he began to stimulate my deepest, wickedest desires. But, the faster we ate, the sooner they would be satisfied.

Since we had passed breakfast a while ago, Erik and I had a leisurely lunch. For a moment, all was silent and I twirled my spoon around in the remaining broth from my soup, allowing my thoughts to drift. My mind wandered to last night, recalling fiery kisses, heated skin, ultimate pleasure, and our sweat-glazed bodies entwining together. I could not help but smile. It had been different from all of those other times that I chose not to remember, so wonderfully different.

"What are you smiling about?" Erik asked.

My gaze instantly focused on him, combining flashes of last night with the face before me. My cheeks began to feel significantly warmer. "I'm sure you could probably guess," I said, getting up to clear the table.

"I'm sure that I know what it is too," he replied slyly, instantly drawing me into a kiss that sent my head reeling. I grasped onto the robe, pulling him closer. Erik effortlessly swooped me into his arms and carefully laid me down on the bed. The clothes were easily torn away and again I found myself defenseless before him and all of his seductive power. With painstaking slowness, Erik thouroughly explored my body with his lips and hands, taking his time to savor every detail, not leaving an inch of skin untouched,and torturing me with pleasure that was almost painful. In an instant I pulled him down and rolled over so that I could give him a taste of his own medicine. I made Erik lay down as I began to torture him in the same manner he had done to me; ghosting my lips over his rough cheek, moving to his throat and chest, leaving passionate kisses on every patch of skin that I hit and tasting his heartbeat beneath my lips. My hands eventually wandered down to his arousal as I pressed myself against him and watched as he fought to remain steady, but not for long. With a cry, Erik again pinned me under him and slowly joined us together. Slowly and gently, the tender rocking began and the pleasure and warmth that I desired began to spread itself throughout my body. It remained slow and steady and we savored every bit of each other, taking our time to truly become one. When our bodies had reached their fill, Erik collapsed to my side and drew me against him and basked in the peace of the aftermath.

* * *

Erik and I had already been married for one month and I found that I was thouroughly enjoying my status as a married woman. I had never felt so content or happy in my life. Spending nights indulging in pleasure and then waking up to my beloved husband were moments that I cherished dearly. But lately, married life had lost a bit of its glamour. 

It was the third morning in a row that I had been sick and I had just vomited into a chamber pot for the third time this morning. I collapsed onto the sofa, groaning as I felt my stomach do flips. I felt like I wanted to die. With a sigh, Erik came over and handed me a cup of tea before taking me into his arms and gently massaging my stomach. I felt back against him, exhasted from vomiting.

"Meg, are you sure you don't want tosee a doctor? This is the third morning that you've been sick and I'm worried about you."

I felt my stomach give another lurch and I clasped my hand to my mouth and thankfully it died down. "I don't think I'm sick Erik, but something that might calm my stomach would be really helpful right now."

"What do you mean you're not sick? You've been throwing up constantly."

I had to admit, even though Erik was a genius when it came to everything else, he was clueless when it came to this matter.

"Erik, what I mean is... we're going to have a baby." My stomach flipped again and spilled it's contents into the pot. Make that the fourth time this morning.

"What?"

"Well it was bound to happen sooner or later," I replied, taking a sip of juice to try to wash out the horrible taste. "Erik please speak to me."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes. I've had all of the symptoms. You're not mad, are you?"

"No. Actually... this is amazing!" he said, pulling me to him and kissing my forhead. But when he drew back, there was an uneasy look in his eyes that worried me.

"Erik, what's wrong? I thought you were happy."

"I am, it's just... there are some things that I do not want to pass down, especially this," he said gravely while covering his scarred cheek.

"Erik..."

"I don't want a child to inherit this. And even if it did not, it would fear it's father," he whispered, turning away.

My heart sunk as he looked away. There were so many times when I wish the world was more understanding and now was one of them. A man should be able to be happy to learn that they will soon have an heir, not have to worry that about passing down something that brought them scorn just because the world is unforgiving. I turned Erik's cheek back towards me, looking at him honestly.

"Erik, listen to me. I love you, all of you. If we have a child that has the same mark, how could I possibly detest it if it looks like someone that I love so dearly. Our baby will not have to know the cruelties that you did, nor does it have to learn how to hate. You have nothing to fear."

The clouds of uncertainity vanished from his eyes. "You really mean that?"

"With all of my heart."

A small but genuine smile appeared on his face as he rested his hand over my abdomen. "Then you have just made me one of the luckiest men alive."

I wrapped my arms around him, happy to have found peace again. Suddenly my stomach flipped again andquickly scurried for the chamber pot before vomiting. Ugh, would this ever end?

"I'll go to the apothecary and get you something to take care of that," Erik said.

Half an hour later, Erik returned with a small vile that would help relieve my restless stomach and finally all was well.

**I'm sorry that this one was a little shorter and a little slowerthan last time, but the next few chapters should be a little longer. Also, for anyone who likes a bit of a darker plot, Meg's life is about to take a rather unpleasant turn in the next chapter as one of her worst experiences comes back into play. **

**Please review!**


	17. Dungeons of Black Despair

**I know it was cruel to torture you with the knowledge that something bad is gonna happen, sooooooooooo here is is!**

**Check my profile for review responses. Those should be up tonight or tomorrow.**

_17. Dungeons of Black Despair_

In the silence of the night, I rested in Erik's embrace, sated and spent from a passionate release. Every now and then he would chastely kiss my cheek or whisper words of lovewhile resting his hand over my womb, knowing that though it was not obvious, life was still residing there. After the initial shock of finding out about my pregnancy, Erik had increasingly shown excitement about our baby and in addition, the elixir had greatly helped to relieve my morning sickness so life just couldn't seem to get any better. And not only did I have a loving husband and baby on the way, there was something else to look forward to.

It was only about two weeks until Christmas and this year, I was really looking forward to it.Erik and I would share our first Christmas together and I couldn't wait. I could just imagine sitting by the fire, gazing at an ornamented tree, listening to Erik sing carols better than the finest in the heavenly choir. Infact, we already had begun decorating. Two days after I revealed my pregnancy,Erik had brought home a small tree and boughs of holly. Though the tree only had a small star at the top, the holly had been placed around the organ, bed, and even on the boat, giving the lair a much more festive look.

The third day after my revelation, Erik decided on going Christmas shopping.

"But I thought you hated going out in public."

"I do," he replied, "but lately I've been in a very good mood. Besides, I actually have something to celebrate this Christmas and I need to get you a gift."

After bundling up, Erik and I returned to the surface. Evidence of the Christmas spirit was everywhere. Carolers sang on the corners, children gazed into decorated windows of toy shops full of wonders, and a light snow fallwas falling. I felt Erik's grip on my hand tighten and I looked up at him.

"You don't have to do this."

"I know, but I want to. As long as I've got you with me, I can make it."

And so we set off at a leisurly pace, occassionally stopping in front of shop windows to look inside. While crossing a street, a small troupe of carolers began to sing "Silent Night".

"Ugh, one of the tenors is off key," Erik scowled.

"Not everyone can sing as well as you can darling," I giggled.

We continued our walk until we came across a small jewelry shop.

"I want to take a quick look inside this shop. Wait here, I'll only take a minute," Erik said before stepping inside.

I definitely liked the sound of this. I could only imagine what kind of surprise I would get on Christmas morning. As I waited outside, an old woman selling roses caught my attention. She looked worn and tired and her clothes were ragged. I took pity on her, remembering what street life was like. Buying a few roses would probably give her a warm meal.

"How much are your roses?" I asked.

"Two francs each," she replied.

"I'll take six." The look of surprise and delight on her face warmed my heart. I reached into my coin purse, pulling out the money which she graciously accepted.

"God bless you dear. Joyeux Noel!"

I smiled at her and clutched my buquet of roses, taking delight in their sweet scent. As I turned around to go back to the jewelry shop, I bumped into a passerby and caused them to drop some of their belonging's.

"Stupid girl," I thought I heard her mutter.

Still, I bent over and handed over her coin purse, but when I looked at her face, my blood froze and I knew that I had just made a terrible mistake.

"You!" Madame Bourais hissed in a murderous growl. The old hag was livid with anger. Immediately shepushed me behind a cart.

"Erik!" I cried, trying to pull away, but she held on firm and in a flash, a revolver was painfully digging into my side and I remained perfectly still.

"Listen you little bitch, you're not going anywhere. You're going to make up for the profits I lost and if you even think about struggling, I'm going to shoot you dead."

I could have cared less about how many bullets it would take to kill me. They would have to drag me back there by my dead body because there was no way that I would return to the whorehouse alive! But I had no choice. I was carryingErik's baby, something more precious to me than life itself. I could not allow what we had created to die because of my own selfishness. It was my duty as a mother to sacrifice what I could for my child, and I would do whatever it took to ensure its survival.

Obediently I allowed Bourais to lead me away, back to the place on this earth that I dreaded above all others. I stole one last glance of the street and I caught one last glimpse of Erik with a worried look on his face, searching through the crowds to find me. Though I tried to squeeze it back, a bitter, cold tear trickled down my cheek. _'Oh my love, I only wish you knew where to find me.'_ I wanted so badly to break lose and cry out my husband's name as loud as I could, but it was a chance I could not afford to take. I could not risk that bullet. With a new bitter hatred possessing me, I continued to follow, trying to satisfy my rage with delightful thoughts of ways to kill her as painfully as possible.

I could feel my insides squirm as we entered the slums. Oh God, just seeing this place again made me want to die. I felt like I was walking into Hell itself. It scared me and angered me. I did not belong here! I was a married woman and I had ceased being a whore a long time ago! Being thrown back in here was like throwing me into a pit full of demons. I tried to struggle, but a painful jab from the pistol reminded me that surredering was the only choice. It was not long before my former residence, the very heart of Paris' little Hell stood before me and the sight of it instilled a fear and coldness so deep that it made death terribly tempting. Bourais led me up long flights of stairs, past my old room, to the very top of the building. Dread consumed me. I had heard about the attic before. It was a prison, where the old heartless bitch locked up any girl who crossed or disobeyedher, givingthem littlefood and water while bringing up some of the worst, disgustingbastards possible.She unlocked the numerous locks before opening the door and throwing me inside, making me hit the floor hard.

"This time you aren't escaping, you little tramp," she growled, and with that, I was locked in.

I remained there for a moment on the hard, cold floor, allowing every negative emotion I felt to seep like venom into my viens. I hated, no loathed that woman with every ounce of my being.

Without even thinking I charged at the door, pounding on the door with all of my might. My mind was so possessed with thoughts of escaping and killing that woman that it numbed the pain my fists felt with each blow. But the harder I punched, the more I realized that I could not break the door down and slowly the effects of the adrenaline died out. I winced as I felt a stinging, throbbing pain take over and I looked with horror upon what I had done. My hands were now raw and red, with small flecks of wood imbedded in them. Defeatedly, I sank back to the ground, cradling my sore hands to my breast. Tears of the most bitter hatred I ever knew began to fall. Reality finally sunk in. There was no way out. Bourais had won, I had lost. Erik would not be here to save me tonight and there was a chance that I might never escape this prison. I sob wracked my throat. I was so alone. I had reached a point beyond nothing, and there was nothing I could do to rise up. I could only wait for the first of what might be countless nights of cruel torture andunending sadness. I could only wait for the darkest of all nights to come.

**Sorry if this chapter wasn't as intense as I hope that it would be. I hope you guys still liked it though. please review!**


	18. Close Every Door

**Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed for the last chapter. Ya, I know it wasn't all that great, but this chapter has been written and rewritten for a while and I think this one is better and I hope that you think some too. However, since you probably know Meg's situation, there is going to be a little bit of lemoness (even though Meg certainly doesn't welcome it), but this ismild so I don't think that it will freak you guys out too much.**

**My dear reviewers, I know I am behind with replies, but I will have them done soon.**

**Disclaimer: dont own.**

_18. Close Every Door_

I remained sitting on the floor, giving into the darkest corners of my mind as the impending night drew closer. I did not weep. I did not cry. I just waited for my doom like someone awaiting death, whispering to my baby "shh, it's alright, we're going to get out of this," but even in my head the words held empty promises. What if Erik did not come? What would I do? I knew that Madame did not have much tollerance for pregnancies. If you had been a hard worker, she might let you keep your baby, but you ended up on the street. As for those who did not win her favor, especially someone like me, the old hag would force some vile potion down my throat ending the baby's life. I clutched my stomach at the thought. The very nightmare of losing the precious life that Erik and I created scared me more than losing my own life. The child within me was the only reason I still lived and I would fight with everything I was to keep it. My gaze shifted to the gap in the boards on my window. I felt my stomach churn as I noticed that sunset was approaching. I looked at the rosary on my wrist, holding it as my last lifeline.

_'Dear God this game me the joy of a loving husband. Let this rosary guide me to see him again!'_

I kissed the beads before tucking them under a loose floor board and hid my ring with it. The sun had begun to set. _'Oh my Jesus, give me the strength I need to survive this night.'_

Soon there was a knock at the door, signalling my door. The door swung open, revealing Madame Bourais. I looked at her with spiteful, loathing eyes, wishing for the devil to do his worst to her.

"You have a customer," she spat. A dirty, grisly man appeared behind her with a look of lust that made my blood run cold. He walked through the doorway and immediately I felt threatened. The door was closed and every single lock clicked. It was like a mouse in a cage, watching the cat before it moved in for the kill.

"Hello pretty," he growled and my body became stiff and cold. I had never felt so helpless in my life, standing before a beast, trembling and quivering. He grabbed me and threw me onto the bed, but I refused to make a sound. Cries for help would do nothing but make his lust run even thicker. Before I had a chance to move, the bastard had pinned me down and tied my hands and feet to the bed. I desperately fought the ropes, only half concious of how they dug into my skin. He unsheathed a dagger and cut my dress and corset with it, tearing away my clothes and leaving me naked and defenseless. The intensity of his greedy gaze chilled me to the bone and I began to tremble. In a moment, the customer had removed his clothes and stood there ready to pounce as I trembled ever more. Even as he stood there, taking in the sight of my body, I felt terribly violated. My body was meant for Erik's eyes _only_! He climbed on top of me, instantly leting his hands roam where they pleased. I wanted so badly to lash out and fight him as his hands went where Erik had touched me gently and lovingly, quite unlike now. I did my best to hold all of my anger and fear in, allowing him to rape me silently. Suddenly his throbbing manhood painfully thrust into me and all of my resistance broke. I screamed and a bloody, hellish sound was released. As the brutal, terrible rocking began, I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to block out everything and imagine that it was Erik. But how could this dirty, filthy son of a bitch who was violently rocking and hurting me possibly be my husband who had made such sweet, reverent love to me? This was so horribly wrong and there was nothing I could do to stop it. At last the torture subsided and he collapsed on top of me, crushing me in the process. There was a sudden knock at the door.

"Times up, times up!"

Reluctantly, the man got up and got dressed and Madame Bourais ushered him out. When she came back, she cut my bindings, still leaving the knots on my wrists and ankles. When she left, I staggered out of bed, putting on awool night gown before collapsing onto the floor. With care, I pulled off the ropes, noticing how raw and red my skin had become. I remained there for a moment, feeling cold and numb and entirely violated. Somehow I got to my feet and stumbled to the vantity. I was such a mess. My hair was tangled and my face was blotchy, but my eyes, once a gentle brown, had darkened to a murderous black that sought blood. I could not hold it in any longer and broke down releasing all of my anger and hatred. I cried so much that my entire body shook. I slumped onto the floor and curled into a ball, pulling a thin blanket around me and chewing on the corner nervously. Never before had I felt so used and beaten. I wanted nothing more than to fall back into Erik's arms and let my problems fade away. But Erik wasn't here and no matter how much hope I had, my darker side knew that there was a chance that Erik would never rescue me. I absentmindedly stroked my stomach, where the only bit of Erik left resided.

"Oh baby," I cried, "mommy is so sorry that you had to go through that. Mommy will protect you. We'll get through this, we must." I didn't even believe myself.

A solitary ray of moonlight had peeked through the gap and fallen upon my shattered form. Something about it made me feel a little safer, almost like maman was trying to comfort me. I wondered what she was thinking right now. I know it must have shamed her to see me in such a state as this once, but _twice_? Fate was terribly cruel.I felt bitter. I hated everything. To possess all of the happiness I could have possibly wanted and then to have it torn away was something that changed me. It made me an animal in a cage, and if, no, _when_ I received a chance to escape, Madame Bourais would pay dearly. But that was the problem; I could be stuck in this horrid chamber forever. I looked at the moon through the gap again, feeling an inner coldness returning. I wanted to be strong so much, but coldness had chilled me to the soul and I drearily tried to expell it.

_"Close every door to me,  
hide all the world from me.  
Bar all the windows  
and shut out the light._

_"Do what you want with me,  
hate me and laugh at me.  
Darken my daytime  
and torture my night._

_"If my life were important, I would ask  
will I live or die.  
But I know the answers lie far from this world._

_"Close every door to me,  
keep those I love from me.  
Children of Israel  
are never alone._

_"For I know I shall find  
my own peace of mind.  
For I have been promise  
a land of my own."_

I drew the blanket around myself tighter, shutting my eyes to try to stop my tears. I was so alone and powerless. I felt worthless. I had become nothing again.

_"Just give me a numbr  
instead of my name.  
Forget all about me  
and let me decay._

_"I do not matter,  
I'm only one person.  
Destroy me completely  
then throw me away!_

_"If my life were important, I would ask  
will I live or die.  
But I know the answers lie far from this world._

With newfound strength out of despair, I shakily rose to my feet and looked out through the little cracks in the boards, glaring at the cold winter sky with new resiliance and determination. They could do whatever they could, but I would hold my head up high and find a way through the deepest valleys in hell.

_"Close every door to me,  
keep those I love from me!  
Children of Israel  
are never alone!_

_"For we know we shall find  
our own peace of mind!  
For we have been promised  
a land of our own!"_

I continued to stare at the cold moon. Though this world could do its worst, I was to determined to fight it with all that I was. I felt as though a small weight had been lifted as I released my anguish. I vowed to get away and to see Erik again.

My body was so worn and exhausted so I ripped off the dirty sheets and curled up on the bed. It would be difficult not to wake up next to Erik, but perhaps dreaming of him would help me find some peace of mind despite this endless nightmare.

**Yay! Meg finally has a song! Okay, for those of you who don't know, it was taken from another one of my ALW favorites. The song is called "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, which I love with a passion. I hope you guys liked this one. Please review!**


	19. Will the Dawning Break

_19. Will the Dawning Break_

It was hard to believe that the last time I was here I thought that it was hell. How wrong was I.

My chamber was not hell. Hell couldn't even come close to what these last 3 days had been. The contrast between the two experiences waqs alarming. At least during my first time, I could still go out of this cursed building. I still had a warm bed and room and decent food. The time when I had first fallen into Erik's midst had practically been royal treatment. But now I couldn't even call myself nothing. I had sunk below that.

Hell was not scorching hot with fire. Oh no, I would have prefered the flames. My hell was quite the contrary. My hell was a small, dirty, freezing cold room without any heat. Hell had very little light and rations of bread and water. Hell was worrying if you could get out of here in time to save the life of your baby. With the little sustenance I received, I worried that I would not be able to properly nourish my child. My soul would be torn from me if that life was lost. This child was all that I had left. It maintained my will to live. But there were still worse things than my living conditions.

I had never felt so dirty physically and spiritually in my whle life. I was sick of betraying Erik. Every single night I was forced to commit a crime against him that I would have never even dreamed of doing. Every God damned night I was forced into allowing some filthy, uncaring bastard to take possession of my body. I tried so often to force myself to imagine that I was still at home and Erik and I were sharing a passionate and lovin union, but it held neither. This visious, lustful rape I was forced to undergo was nothing like I had known with my husband, but I feared that it would become all I would ever know.

* * *

The morning after my third night of painful betrayal I had an unexpected visitor. Instead of Bourais sliding a small tray under the flap in the door, I found Camille peeking her head under it. 

"Camille, what are you doing here? If Madame knew, she might lock you up too."

"Don't worry, I offered to take your food to you.Besides, I want to help you."

"I wish you could."

"You know Meg, all of the girls think that you are very brave."

I shrugged my shoulders. They didn't know that my spirit was dying.

"Meg, what hapened to you after you ran away? Where have you been?" she asked.

I looked at her through the flap, wondering if I could trust her with secrets that Madame could never find out.

"Can I trust you with a secret?"

Her eyes seemed honest as she nodded.

"Well, the night I ran away, I knocked out my client. I then found myself into the hands of a man named Erik who first kept me as a prisoner and I hated it. Then I was attacked and nearly killed, but Erik saved me and I found out that he really wasn't as bad as I though he was. We ended up falling in loved and we got married a month ago." Tears threatened to fall as I recalled bittersweet memories of a past that was lost.

Camille looked at me in wonder but her face fell when she noticed how much remembering hurt. "You really miss him don't you."

"God, more than anything in the world. That's not all either. I need to get back to him so that my baby can know it's father."

She gasped and said with a sigh, "you are so lucky Meg."

"Does it look like I'm lucky now? Every night that bitch ties me down and forces me to betray my husband and if I don't get out of here, I'll lose my baby too." Just thinking about it sent me on the edges of panic.

"That's true," Camille replied calmly "but you were able to know what freedom is like. You have someone out there who loves you and cares about you. You have a life to miss outside these walls. I don't. I want to get out of here and find happiness and a good life of my own. I just wish that I had enough courage like you to find it."

I looked at her with gratitude and smiled weakly. "Thanks."

There was a short silence before I got an idea. Though I was confined to this room, Camille was not.

"Camille, could you do me a big favor?"

"Of course."

"Could you bring Erik to me?"

"Sure. What does he look like?"

"He's very tall. He had almost icy clue eyes that make you feel like he sees right through you. HIs hair is very dark, almost black, but not quite, and he usually wears a black suit and cloak and a white half mask. You can't miss him." I only hoped that Camille would not figure out Erik's better known identity. It was bad enough having one of us in a prison already.

"I hope I can find him Meg."

"I hope so too," I said glumly.

A voice called out to Camille and she looked at me anxiously.

"I cannot stay any longer. I hope this works."

"Thank you for everything Camille." And with that, my ally left, leaving me in solitude again.

* * *

I could not tell if Camille kept her promise because men continued to come. My mind became numb to everything around me. Days and nights were terribly long and hours wore on slowly. It had only been about a week and already it felt like a month. I started to wonder if I could hold on. Every single night after I had been tied down and raped, I felt like my soul had been killed. That was the problem with living. A body can only be killed once, but a soul can be torn, beaten, broken, and murdered over and over again and every single blow hurts as much as the first. My mind was deteriorating and I was certain that if I was not freed soon, my sanity would be lost without any hope of regaining it. My resolve to live was fading as I realized that my chances of seeing Erik again lessened after each passing day. One way or another, my baby would die, either of my final surrender or of managing to hold on long enough for my pregnancy to become noticable. I needed a miracle.

* * *

It had been exactly one week, seven days of darkness, lust, and pain. Almost every trace of hope had left me. I did not eat at all on the weekly aniversary of my capture; I only sat in the darkest, coldest corner of that cursed room, feverently praying toGod for death or deliverance. I wanted to weep, to cry like my anguished soul, but there were no tears left and I did not want to feel any weaker than I already was, if that was possible. I wanted to give myself reassurance that Icould get through this and that I would find Erik again, but I just couldn't believe myself. I knew that Bourais had won. I had lost the moment I was in her grasp and the power to change that never was and never would be in my hands. 

For a while, during the faint, but blessed light of day, I dreamed of the life and future that had been so brutally torn from me seven days ago. I thought of the Christmas I had so been looking forward to, with carols by the fire, of my husband and I anticipating our awaiting baby, of placing a child that was unmistakably his into his loving arms. I had come so close to knowing perfection. A solitary tear fell down my dirty, sullen cheek. It was soon followed by another and another until it was too late to stop their flow and I released the utter sadness I had been holding in for days. I scowled in self disgust. I was so weak that I couldn't even hide it.

As the shadows in my room continued to stretch themselves, I slowly slipped deeper into insanity. I wasn't even sure if I knew who, or even what I was. Something animal-like had possessed my, making me determined to get out or die trying. My eyes were quick and my knees and fists shoot. I tried to steady myself, but my rising adrenaline made me unaware of how deep my nails sunk into my palms as I fought for control. Madame would have to use every single bullet she had in that damned pistol to kill the beast in me before I was tied to that bed again.

As the sun began to sink behind the buildings, the beast anticipated its release and my heart was beating at an alarming rate. At last the door opened and there stood the old hag and my latest seducer. I lunged at the door, ready to tear through them, that hag was a clever one and she sent a blow to my head with a cane so hard that stars flashed before me. The impact knocked me back and before I even had a chance to react, they grabbed me and flung me down on the bed. My mind dismissed the terrible throbbing headache I now had and instead I thrashed about, fighting with every remaining ounce of strength left. Bourais left after they had succeded in tying my hands and I continued to kick at my client. Even after I was fully binded, I thrashed about, wriggling, snapping and growling like a rabid dog. Somehow or another he managed to get a hold on my dress, fighting with the laces as I fought even harder.

The laces were considerably looser when the door suddenly snapped open. My heart leapt as a familiar shadow swept into the room, tossing a noose around the neck of my customer and with one jerk he was sent flying back with a sickening crack.

"Erik!" I cried, desperately pulling against the ropse. My husband returned to my side, unsheathing his sword and freeing me at last. In a flash, he pulled me into his arms and I clung to him, still unable to believe that he was really here.

"Oh my God, I thought I lost you forever," he panted. I felt tears come to my eyes and a dry sob wracked my throat. I increased my grip on him, never wanting to let go ever again.

Our attention was quickly diverted to the door and my eyes widened as my dreaded warden appeared, ready to take me again.

"What the hell-." Madame's sentence was cut short as Erik shot her a death glare with eyes of hell's anger and she was petrified with fear.

"Time to die bitch," Erik growled, whipping out his deadly lasso. I remained frozen to the spot, frightened a bit as I watched him, once so loving and gentle, become a ruthless killer. Though I most certainly did not feel remorse for the old hag's death, seeing Erik int he actual act of killing startled me in how sharply the man before me contrasted from the husband that I knew. Bourais struggled a bit at the rope before life was strangled from her at last and her body fell limpy to the ground. I was snapped out of my trance as Erik pulled me into his arms and I was relieved to know that his murderous outburst had passed, but a great commotion from downstairs reminded us that we could not linger for long. It also reminded me that there was no other way out.

However, Erik apparently had other ideas. With great strength, he pried off the boards with his sword and broke the window open, sending great streams of moonlight to flood the dark room. He swung the lasso and caught it on a rainspout before giving it a tug to make sure that was firm. Oh God, he wasn't really expecting me to get out _that _way, did he?

"Come on Meg, we have to swing down."

I looked at him with eyes full of fear, terrified at the thought of plummeting to the ground.

"You have to trust me."

He was right. One of the most important things I would have to learn about marriage was trust. With a complete leap of faith in him, I found the courage to take that plunge and I grabbed onto Erik, tightly wrapping my arms and legs around him. I yelped as we rapidly slid down the rope and I clung even tighter. As soon as we hit the ground I tried to stand, but my knees were so weak and shaky that they gave way and I collasped into a helpless heap in the steet. I knew that we needed to run and get out of here as fast as possible, but how was I supposed to run when I could hardly stay on my feet? Erik swiftly swooped me into his strong arms and managed to run as fast as possible back to our underground haven. Only when we were safely on the shore of our home was I finally able to fall into Erik's arms. He carefully laid me down on the bed and even then I did not let go of him. Tears began to fall down my cheeks as I lost the battle with myself to restrain the anguish that plagued me. My joy to finally be home with Erik and be free from that brothel was cruelly lost in the shame of the betrayal of my body.

"Meg, please don't cry. We are together again," he whispered.

His words made me cry harder and he held me even tighter. After this past week, how could I be sure that we would truly be together from now until death do us part? Besides, would he still want to be together with an adulteress?

"Oh God, this is all my fault. I promised you that you would never have to go back. I promised to keep you safe. I was supposed to protect you. Oh Meg, please forgive me."

I sat up for a moment. Erik's words had torn through me like a knife. He had done nothing wrong, yet took the blame for everything. This crime did not belong to him.

"Erik, please don't say that. I don't blame you; there's nothing to even blame you for. I..." Oh God, how do you explain such an ordeal? "Please try to understand that I never wanted to do it. But every time they tied me down and... oh God Erik, every night! Every night... I was forced to betray you."

Erik kept his gaze calm and unwavering, piercing my battered soul with them and it unnerved me more than his anger. "Please forgive me Erik. Please understand that it was not my choice."

With loving care, Erik drew me back into his arms and delicately whispered into me ear. "What is there to forgive,mon amour? You did not do such things out of your own free will. I just wish that I had been able to prevent this from ever happening." He gently pressed his lips to my forehead and soothingly rubbed his hand over my back. I leaned further into his embrace, feeling utterly blessed to be with him again, and for that brief moment, I found peace. My head fell onto his shoulder and I sighed, completely exhausted.

"Come Meg, lie down. You need your rest."

Erik went to his room to get some clothes while I changed into a soft nightgown. But as I pulled it down over my head, a hand stopped me and I turned to find Erik with a worried look in his eyes as he studied my body. His eyes widened in horror as they darted to the bruises I had accumulated before I hastily pulled the nightgown down.

"They did this to you?"

I nodded my head, keeping my eyes downcast and quietly slipped into my own, familiar bed. Erik sat on the other side and stared blanklyat the black curtain.

"I should have been able to stop her Meg. I should have been able to protect you and get you out of there sooner."

I warily leaned over and took his hand. "Erik, please don't blame yourself for this. We are together again and that is all that matters."

He looked at me and from the cold look in his eyes, I knew that it would be a long time, at least, before he would forgive himself. Slowly Erik crawled beside me and I curled up into his arms with a sigh. Oh how I had missed his embrace, and to thing that earlier it seemed as though it was lost forever. He planted a soft kiss on my cheek, but even in the safe circle of his arms I knew that nightmares would still find me.

**Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this took so long. I haven't really had much of a chance to get on here and type everything so forgive me. I am quite sure that you guys are happy that Meg is finally safe and back with Erik.

* * *

****To help make up for this delay, I have decided to add something. My dear friend, Nameless Waif, suggested the idea ofMeg weilding a chainsaw in her review and I found that I actually really liked that idea. So, here is a shorter version of this chappie with a chainsaw (and me) incorporated.**

Meg- LIFE SUCKS! I am sick of getting raped and tied down every night. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME!

Camille- Hi Meg! You are awesome! I'll help you kick Madame Bourais' ass!

Meg- Yay!

(Few hours later)

Meg- I'm depressed again. My baby is going to die. YOU ARE KILLING MY BABY!

(Authoress randomly pops out of nowhere).

Meg- Who the hell are you?

DragonheartRAB- I'm the person who put you here, idoit.

Meg- DAMN YOU! DIE!

Dragonheart- (cowers in fear) WAIT! I have a present for you! I will give it to you on the condition that you do not kill me. (pulls out gigantic chain saw).

Meg- Oooooooooo shiny!

Dragonheart- (revs it up)

Meg- OOOOOOOOOOO! VERY PRETTY!

(Door opens)

Madame Bourais- I have come to make you miserable!

Meg- (grabs chain saw) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DIE DIE DIE!(begins to saw Bourais and client into little tiny bits and proceeds in sending bits of blood and flesh all over the room)

Dragonheart- 0.o

Erik- (comes in and sees blood and gore everywhere) no fair, you already took away my fun. Oh well, I have taught her well!

Meg- Yay! You rescued me. To celebrate my awesome murder, lets forget about all of those depressing and sucky days and make wild animal love to eachother!

Erik- OKAY!

(Meg and Erik tear off clothes and make wild animal love to eachother on the bed).

Dragonheart- 0.o ... I am so outta here.


	20. Prison of my Mind

**Hello dear reviewers! I'm sorry this took so long. I was doing a lot of work with Seduction by Cards and I wasn't entirely sure what to do about this chapter, but last night I finally got some ideas and so it's finally up! And for those of you who read to a certain part and think "Ah! Run away for there are lemons!", have no fear because this chapter is completely devoid of them. **

**Also, I finally got around to review replies for 18 and 19 so if anyone cares about that, feel free to check it out in my profile. **

**And if any of you are in the mood for something a little steamy, feel free to check out my new one-shot, Seduction by Cards. I will admit that Erik and Meg are a tad bit out of character, but its still good. **_  
_

_20. Prison of My Mind_

Hours after Erik had fallen asleep I continued to lie there awake, staring into the thick darkness and listening to his slow, steady breath. I envied him greatly. Even now, while I was still awake, flashes of memories that I wanted so badly to erase still tortured me, but I didn't dare give into sleep, for I knew that the world of dreams would turn something that was already bad enough in waking hours into extorted, unbearable nightmares. I snuggled closer to Erik, but even he could not drive out the demons that possessed me. I wished that my husband could give me the protection that I needed as he so often did, but I learned the hard way that it was impossible to ensure that he would not be so brutally torn away again.

Eventually I did find that it became impossible for my eyes to remain open and I slipped into a series of fitful dreams that always ended with violently awakening without little or no sleep at all. It was just impossible to find any physical or mental rest at all tonight and there was no way to get around it.

Between 4:30 and 5:00 in the morning I gave up all hopes of ever finding a peaceful sleep. Carefully, I slipped out of Erik's arms and looked lovingly upon him. How I wished that for once we could live in peace, but shadows of the past that threatened the future would always haunt me and trouble him. It was even harder to watch Erik blame himself for all that had happened. God knows that he had already been through more than any human being should have to go through. At least I knew that I was not alone in my fight against the past and I was ever grateful to have him, but I was well aware that it would be a very long time before I could hope to try to forget this week of hell and even Erik's unwavering love and support would not be able to change that.

I slipped out of the bedroom as quietly as possible and crept into the bathroom. I needed to cleanse my sullied body and try to was away what I could of the brothel. I turned on the water and added lavender bubble bath, filling the room with the sweet and soothing scent. With a sight, I pulled my nightgown over my head, feeling a chill come to my flesh before I sank into the tub of warm water. Slowly I spread the lavender soap all over my body, concentration on nothing but the calming scent and blissful silence as I fought against allowing my mind to seize any opportunity to torture me. But still the images did not stop in their crusade against me and I could not stop my mind from surrendering into the eclipse of nightmares. Oh God, would there ever be an end to it!

Like a shadow, Erik slipped through the door and looked at me with gentle, yet deeply concerned eyes that made me certain he saw my suffering.

"May I join you?" he asked quietly.

I simply nodded my head while I internally drowned in gloom of the last few days. His clothes fell away and Erik gracefully climbed in beside me. Something about the contact of his bare skin enhanced by the scented bath seemed to drive away the murky illusions, not out of arousal, but from the way his flesh made his presence all the more real and definite. I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him, wanting to absorb everything that he was and desperately needing him to be with me. His heart beat beneath my ear and I placed my lips upon it. God, I loved him so much.

I closed my eyes as Erik ran his fingers through my wet hair, gently moving to my back. My skin tingled as his fingers ghosted over it and the sweetness of his caress soothed my weary soul. Though my mind was stormy and troubled, for here and now, I was beginning to feel at peace.

For some precious moments, the ceaseless, painful visions had left me and I began to feel normal again. I slowly brought my mouth up to his in a simple kiss, enjoying the friction of our bare, wet bodies and the intimacy between us, and for one second, I could even say that I was happy again. But those damnable memories quickly avenged themselves. Even while wrapped up in Erik's blissful kiss, they came back full and strong. The flashbacks came sharp and fast like bullets through my brain; _being tied down, stripped, rapped, dark days and tortured nights._ I kissed him more fiercely, desperate to drive them away. _'Leave me alone!'_ I screamed inwardly and still they came, each passing vision more graphic and real than the last. _'No! No!'_

"NO!" I cried, breaking away from Erik's lips and falling onto his chest with a defeated whimper. My internal storm released itself by raining down hot, bitter tears. Why did my few precious moments of relief always have to be poisoned with such pain! My God, my God, why can't I just live!

My body began to tremble as sobs wracked it and Erik held me closer. I clasped onto him, trying to find some security, some way to escape.

"Oh Erik, why?" I wept in a voice choked with tears. "Why can't they let us live! Why won't they let us be!" I wanted so much to regain normalcy, to live happily the way we used to. Why did the world never cease in trying to punish us? Why couldn't I be free from my old profession and be happy for both our sakes? Dear God, why can't they let me live!

Erik gently slipped his finger under my chin and brought my tear stained eyes up to meet his and their clear, soft, understanding nature never failed to see right through me. His lips did not utter a single word, yet his calm gaze said everything in nothing and again I could not have been more grateful than to have him in my life. With my sobs reduced to silent tears, I clung to him, allowing his love do what it could to ease the pain of the flashbacks' passing.

* * *

A quiet, uneasy day of silent suffering gave into the dreaded night. Even as I laid there in Erik's arms, I felt distant from him as I continued to be poisoned with anecdotes of my past. I didn't even bother with fruitless attempts to drive them away. I simply let them play repeatedly in my head as they wished like little demons using me as a toy. But tonight, the exhaustion of the past, trying week and a sleepless night were too overwhelming and I subjected myself to my restless mind and allowed it to possess its greatest weapon: the power of dreams. 

_As usual, I returned to that dark, cold, little room that contained me. Defeatedly, I crawled into a corner like a humble little mouse. I awaited them to begin their nightly sacrifice, as I, much like a meek and helpless lamb, was tied down to the alter-like mattress and ravaged, all for measly fifteen francs. But for some reason, tonight was different._

_A solitary ray of twilight fell upon the center of the room, casting an ethereal glow on that spot. The light increased and soon a gentle incandescence of moonlight filled the room. Out of nowhere, a light, glimmering fog rose where the first light had touched the room and slowly dispersed itself to every corner. A figure materialized from the gloom in the form of a girl, clothed in creamy white. She could not have been much older than me and her longer brown hair tinted with gold swayed behind her. Her gaze never left me and I noted that her eyes seemed strangely familiar._

_She simply beckoned me to come to her with a wave of her hand and without question, I obeyed and sat before her._

"_Meg," she said calmly as she joined me on the floor and at once I recognized the woman before me._

"_Maman?" I said and her small, but gentle smile let me know that it was indeed my mother. _

"_I want you to know that I am proud of you, ma cherie," she said while placing her hand upon my shoulder. "You have risen from the ashes that you were left in to become a strong woman with a husband that I am most pleased with and a beautiful son that you will meet soon."_

_I felt my heart leap as she spoke of my baby. How wonderful it would be to have a son in Erik's image. "How did you know?"_

"_I am your mother. I know everything"_

_I smiled in acknowledgement, knowing all to well that it was true._

_My mother returned my grin. "You have been very strong and brave Meg. Your father and I have been most pleased."_

"_But how can you possibly say that I am strong when I allow my own mind to get the better of me? I feel so weak, maman. I could hardly hold on while I was at the whorehouse and I allow my mind to be assaulted by the mere memory off it. I don't feel strong at all."_

"_I know, my dear," my mother sympathized. "It hurt me to watch you go through such treatment. But believe it or not, you have been strong. You held onto hope during both of those times, even when you doubted yourself, not to mention you made whatever sacrifices you could for your son. You possessed the will to live just as you do right now and you believe that there will be a day when these memories will not torment you as they do now. You have come far, very far. After all, there are many who would have easily given up and submitted to death."_

"_But what should I do about the present? I want to live again! I miss the happiness that Erik and I shared. I hate how my memories haunt me and keep us in separate worlds."_

"_I know you do. But I want you to remember and tell me what Erik told you on your wedding night when you told him that he didn't deserve you because of your former profession."_

_I blushed as I remembered the blissful release of that wonderful night and realized how much my mother knew about it. "He told me to forget our pasts and that we should only think about our future together."_

"_Exactly, and Erik is absolutely right. You are very lucky to have him Meg. His love and loyalty to you is unwavering, not to mention he has clearly proved his devotion through his rescues and I couldn't be happier watching you build your life with him. Trust him Meg. Erik has a past that he regrets as well, and he will be there to support you. Let him help you forget. As for the memories, tell him what troubles you when you are ready. Disclosure with be one of your first steps towards freedom and never be afraid to release your pain. You and Erik might even be able to heal one other. Just learn to trust each other." _

_I noticed that the wondrous glow of my mother's heavenly aura was beginning to fade._

"_It is nearly my time to go, ma cherie" she said in a voice tinted with sadness._

_A solitary tear fell down my cheek. "Please maman, don't leave me. I miss you."_

_With her matronly care, she drew me into her embrace. "I miss you as well, but remember Meg, I will always be there and open to your prayers. I live in you. I love you, my dear daughter, never forget that."_

"_I love you too maman. Help me be as caring as you were when my time comes," I said in a low, teary whisper. The twilight was beginning to fade as I pulled away as my mother faded with it. With a final wave, she was gone and my cell began to rapidly disappear. _

With a small gasp, I jerked out of my sleep and sat up. I was surprised to be back in bed with Erik until I remember that it had only been a dream. A small grin spread upon my face as I looked over my husband's peaceful, sleeping form. Maman was right, I was lucky to have him and I needed to trust him entirely. Carefully I placed a light kiss upon his marred cheek and watched happily as a small grin spread across his lips before falling back into his arms. I cast one last glance heavenward as a final thanks.

'_Thank you maman. Thank you so much for your guidance.'_

Feeling the peace of her soul protecting me, I decided to attempt to sleep and for once, I got an entire night's rest free of nightmares.

**Sorry, but this time, I wasn't able to think of any alternate endings, but I hoped you liked it anyway, and for once, it ended on a fairly light note. Please review!**


	21. Let Your Heart Be Light

**Disclaimer: me no own.**_  
_

_21. Let Your Heart Be Light_

For the first time since I had returned, endless nightmares had ceased in their torment, mostly due to the fact that something else presently consumed my thoughts.

All that I could think about now was my mother's apparition. The dream repeated itself before my eyes, every single sight and sound. Over and over I pondered about it, trying to harvest the advice that I needed most.

I spent many hours in my usual meditative spot, leaning against the rocks by the lake. I often heard Erik's faint steps and I wished I knew how to close the distance that my emotional outburst in the bathroom had caused. I couldn't help but feel like it had made him feel like he was responsible for my suffering even more. Erik didn't deserve the sadness and pain that had been brought on since my abduction any more than I did. I just wished that there were an easier way to forget. There would eventually be a time when I could share all of the things that taunted me at night and begin to drive out the demons that possessed my memory, but I knew that I was not ready for to relive those nights by retelling them yet. The internal battle of when I could be strong enough to explain everything up to my dream was a terrible struggle, because not only did it involve my memories the brothel, but Erik's heir as well.

Every time I replayed the part about the revelation of my baby, a much-needed leap of joy came to my heart. My hand rested over my womb as I reveled in the great knowledge that Erik's son slept within me. I could almost imagine him clearly; a little boy with his father's sapphire eyes, carefully looking over daddy's shoulder, fascinated by the intricate art and beauty of music. My imagination's vision of our family life was one of the few things that made me smile.

* * *

Alas, Christmas Eve arrived and I wished that I could regain half of the joy I had prior to my abduction. As much as he tried to hide it, I could still see the sadness and sympathy that was reflected in his eyes and every time they met mine, a bullet shot through my soul. I had wanted this to be a happy night as our first Christmas together and as Erik's first real time celebrating the holiday, contently and merrily singing old Christmas hymns, aspiring about the joyous wonders that awaited us in the New Year, and yes, maybe even a little sweet intimacy, but the near-dead Christmas tree and its empty branches, save for the top where the angel was perched served only as a reminder that reality's Christmas was much different from my anticipated one. I wanted to be happy or try to convince myself that I could be. I even tried to pretend that I was, but I knew that Erik saw through my façade and I couldn't help but feel that my own melancholy spirit was infecting him as well. The way my hopes for this night had started out so high and diminished into near nothing served as another reminder of how drastically seven days could change a life. 

In the evening, I sat silently by the fireplace, reclining into a cushion and staring blankly into the dancing flames. A familiar warmth enveloped me as Erik sat down besides me, wrapping an arm around me, instantly breaking my trance. He handed me a mug of hot chocolate and I sipped it gratefully while reclining in his embrace. As welcoming as his presence was, there was cold sadness about it that made my heart sink.

"Merry Christmas darling," I said with a weak smile.

Gently, Erik leaned over and placed a lingering kiss upon my forehead, "Merry Christmas," he whispered.

I buried my head into his shoulder, willing myself not to cry. There was nothing merry, just a lingering gloom that refused to leave. _God please, remind me of the joy I knew before_, I silently pleaded as a solitary tear managed to escape my eye.

Erik held me closer gently ran his hand over the small of my back in slow, comforting circles. Within his chest, I heard a low rumble and I closed my eyes as it rose into soothing song.

"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas.  
Let your heart be light,  
From now on our troubles  
Will be out of sight. _

"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,  
Make the Yule-tide gay,  
From now on our troubles  
Will be miles away. _

"_Here we are as in olden days,  
Happy golden days of yore,  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Gather near to us once more."_

With bright assurance in his eyes, Erik lifted my chin and took my hand and I felt like something within me was growing like a small flame, getting brighter and warmer.

"_Through the years we all will be together,  
__if the fates allow.  
__Hang a shining star  
__on the highest bow.  
__And have yourself a merry, little Christmas now."_

Looking into Erik's gaze bright and pure, the truth struck me and at last I found the meaning I had been looking for. Erik's song was undeniably true. I had to look past everything. The suffering and darkness was over now. At last I understood. It was just like what Erik had said on our wedding night; "_Both of us must forget about our pasts. Just think of our future together"._ Maman was right. Trusting in Erik would help me forget and help both of us to truly start anew. This Christmas Eve would be the birth of a new day, a new promise between us, and a new beginning. My gaze shifted to our poor tree. The fresh pain would soon die away, and my dear angel would take me under his wings and together we could rise above it all. A small tear of joy, of the happiness of knowing that this sadness would not last forever, slowly left its trail down my cheek.

"Please Meg, don't cry, I never meant to…"

"No Erik, I'm not sad. I'm happy," I said with the first genuine smile yet.

My smile could not help but widen as Erik continued to wear a confused look upon his face.

"It's just, the other night, I had a dream the other night that my mother appeared to me. She gave me advice on how to get past this, but I wasn't sure how to use it. And you helped me understand Erik. You can help me get through this and together we can work to dissolve the pain of our pasts. We can heal each other through trust. All we have to focus on is our future together."

A small smile appeared on Erik's face. "You never fail to amaze me, mon amour. I promise that I'll be with you through this Meg."

"I know you will, I trust you." I paused for a second, deciding that the happier news I carried was too great to hide. "You know Erik, my mother mentioned something else to me."

"What was it?" he asked with an intrigued look.

"You're going to have a son Erik," I said with a wider smile. "You're going to have a little boy."

My heart swelled with pride as a fascinated smile appeared on his face. I knew that the gender of the baby would not have affected Erik's love for it, but there was a certain bond between father and son that he would cherish undoubtedly. He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss upon my lips. My heart felt lighter and my melancholy mood had faded into rising joy.

"That is wonderful news, darling. I only wish I had such a gift for you as well."

"We don't need gifts Erik, being able to be with you tonight is one of the greatest gifts I could have ever received. You know, this might not have been the Christmas Eve I had expected, but it's all that I could have hoped for."

Again he leaned in and our lips met, his tongue lightly grazing mine. "Thank you, Meg. Thank you for a real Christmas at last," Erik whispered.

Contently, I rested my head against his chest, watching the flames dance as Erik's warm and soothing voice rang out in an angelic version of "Silent Night". It truly was a merry little Christmas Eve after all.

**Yes, I know this chapter is a bit out of season, but I didn't want to wait until Christmas to post this. I feel like all of the stores that have Christmas stuff up before Halloween is even over. As for the song, ya, it is cheesy, but I wanted to make Erik sing again. I'm sorry it was just kinda blah-ish fluff. I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be better though!  
**

**Forgive me dear readers. I'm so sorry that this took forever to post and that it was kind of a let down. I haven't had much time on my hands to get on a computer at all. Though this is not the end, there are only about two or three chapters left. Also, I will try to have replies up as soon as possible!  
**

**Please review to tell me what you thought of this chapter!**


	22. Renaissance

**I'm sorry dear readers. First of all, I'm sorry that this took so long. Also, I know that I had said that there would be at least 2 more chapters, but I downsized it to one for a few reasons. First, I found that I really didn't feel like trying to stretch this stuff out. And second, I'm about to try out for yet another show (Jesus Christ Superstar baby!) and it is going to really take a lot out of me. Not only will the play itself be time commanding, but my parents and advisor (kind of a homeroom teacher at my school) are demanding me to stay on top of my work in order to stay in the show, so this leaves very little free time left and I really don't want to delay any more chapters so here you go! I hope you like it.**

**Also, because this is the last chapter and I'm gonna need to get rid of review replies to make room for new stories, I've decided to do review replies from the last chapter here and then post all of the other ones at the end.**

**Replies **

**Kathy L.: Thanks for your review! I'm really glad you liked that chapter.**

**JennyWren: Aw, thanks! Ya, I felt really out of season posting it. Its kinda funny that now I posting the chapter that takes place after Christmas during the Christmas season. Christmas fluff is always good. Also, if you want more, I am currently writting an E/M Christmas one shot that you might like. Btw, I love your story If I Never Knew You. Its wonderful! Thanks so much for all of your reviews!  
**

**Soprano of the Labyrinth: Yay! I'm glad you liked it anyway. And yes, you will find out everything you need to know about their baby in this chapter. Thanks so much for being an ever faithful reviewer!**

**ThePhantomsShadow: I'm glad you liked my early Christmas chapter. Wow, your Aunt seems a little anxious to get into the Christmas spirit. Thats funny. Thanks for all of your lovely reviews!**

**Rising Twilight: Yay, I'm glad you liked Erik's little song. I'm actually singing it for this little voice concert-ish thing I'm doing for my voice teacher so the song was kinda in my head at the time. I'm so happy that the Christmas season is here b/c I absolutely love making cookies, decorating the tree and all the good stuff you mentioned in your review! Praise 101.9 for continuous Christmas! Though this story is ending, there are still many stories that I have yet to start. If you are into some more Christmas fluff, I am currently about half way done a little E/M one shot called Secret Santas. Thanks for all of your reviews!**

**darklady5289: I'm glad you liked that chapter! Don't worry, Erik and Meg are safe at last. I don't have the heart to put them through anything else. Thanks for all of your support and reviews!**

**Nameless Waif: Yay! Yes, you never ever fail to review. And I don't blame you for all of those Romeo and Juliet quotations. It happens. Btw, that show was AMAZING! I saw it twice and both times I could hear people crying. I was like YES! You did an awesome job. When you came out I was like YES! I KNOW HER! Besides, if I make Jesus Christ Superstar, I'll be going around singing that until March. Yay for Christmas songs and 101.9 continuous Christmas! I would love to see Erik singing 'John Jacob Jingle-heimer Smith'. That would be too funny. And I'm glad you picked up on the whole revelation thing. Thats kinda what the last two chappies have been trying to say so YAY! As for the dying Christmas Tree, I thought that it was entirely appropriate for Meg's depressed mood and I'm glad that it made you feel better. Ignore Christmas movies and tv shows. Those people are too perfect to be real anyway. If the sky was orange, I'm not entirely sure that I would want to know what squirells would taste like. As for the music question, thats by far the best philosophical question I've heard ever! I like it! But poor Erik would be sad. Anyway, I shall see you in Geometry!  
**

_22. Renaissance._

It was a new year, full of new promises, new beginnings, and new life. New Year's Eve had a different significance this year. To many, it had always just been a new year, but after everything that had happened, a new year took on new meaning. Last year was dead, and with it I dug the grave to bury all that I wanted to leave behind with it. By no means was it near full, but I was beginning to live again.

When warmer weather finally set in, I realized what I missed about the surface. I missed the sunlight, fresh air, the beauty of flowers and a bright, lovely day. Returning to a world of beauty and danger was something that I desired and feared at the same time. I had stayed by Erik's side the whole time and kept to the park instead of the streets. I felt better that day than I had in a long time. Resting on the lush grass while bathed in sunlight and the warmth of Erik's arm helped me remember the wonderful things about the surface world. Together we were learning how to leave the sanctuary of our underground world to return to the light.

As I began to quiet my fear of the world, we soon got in the habit of taking a walk in the park on Sundays, enjoying the soft song of the birds and watching the busy city bustle by from one spot of peace. I was so caught up in it that I did not see an ecstatic figure waving and coming towards me.

"Meg!" it cried and my trance was broken as I saw an old friend rushing at me.

"Camille! It's so good to see you," I exclaimed, embracing her happily.

"Meg it's so good to see you," she smiled, looking down at my growing abdomen.

"You know, I probably wouldn't be here if you hadn't helped me escape. You really did Erik and me a very big favor. So how have you been doing all of this time?"

"Much better thanks to you Meg. I'm free now. I decided to make a new life for myself that night. I'm an honest woman now." The small sparkle of a ring on her hand caught my attention. Her smile widened as she noticed. "I'm engaged. I met Ames not long after the start of the New Year. Erik and you especially inspired me to find a better way to live. I'm happier now than I've been in a very long time."

"I'm happy for you Camille. Neither of us deserved that life. We just had nowhere else to turn at that moment. We are free at last."

* * *

Seeing Camille finally free of the brothel's hold with a real life of her own reminded me of myself. We were not bound to misery, only I could seal my own fate. Nothing could last forever. This time of healing that I was going through was not permanent. Again I could feel my mother working. The time had come for me to harness my weaknesses, not only to be happy again, but to finally release the desire I had felt for my husband, a desire that Erik and I had both suppressed to avoid remembrance of that one week. But spring sweet call of life would help to kill the cold memories of winter. No longer would every sweet kiss and touch be tinted with carefully restrained desire. It was time to renew the vows Erik and I had made with our bodies on that first night of marriage. 

While Erik was out searching for a house for our future family, a warm draft began gently breathed upon the usually cool cavern. Spring was a time of rebirth, of renaissance. It was time to rise above the winter, to give into the desires that had been carefully harbored for too long.

A carpet of rose petals soon covered the cavern floor as I waited on the bed, resting comfortably in a rather small, blood red nightgown, slyly anticipating his return. At last I heard the gentle rocking of the boat and a sly smile spread across my face as Erik approached. I nearly laughed at the surprised look on his face as he pulled the curtain aside.

"What is all this for?" he asked with a slightly wry smile.

"Surely you can figure that out," I answered coyly. His eyes were intense as I approached him and my heart leapt at the soft sight he emitted as I kissed his throat. An almost inaudible moan escaped his throat as my lips moved up his jaw line and my hands wandered over his chest.

"You are a temptress Meg," he whispered against my lips before they met. "Why do you torture me so?"

"No Erik, no more temptation. I will not deny us this any more."

"Are you sure?"

"I need you Erik. Only you can help me overcome this. I need _your_ touch, I need _you_. Remind me of what I want, what I've missed for so long."

Erik's eyes lit up with blue fire as the harbored desires were finally allowed to run loose. Slowly, he kissed me again, teasing my tongue with his own and running his talented fingers up my spine and neck, causing me to shiver with delight. His lips moved down to graze my jaw and neck as his hands ran up and down my sides. His sweet touch was so different from the violent grasping, wonderfully different.

As I reached up to take off his jacket, I felt my cheeks grow warm. I felt like a newlywed again as I sought to fight against the joys of the flesh that had been tainted with hateful lust. Bits of clothing slowly fell away with tantalizing caress as we slowly savored our long closeted, marital rights. The final garments were cast aside. Both of us blushed furiously as we lay bare before each other, innocent and defenseless.

I raised my arms up, wrapping them around his neck, bringing him closer. "I've missed you Erik," I whispered as my lips met his and his skin set fire to my own. At last, only one task remained before us. Erik's eyes desperately searched mine and I knew what held him back. He was scared, frightened to revive my worst memories.

"Please Erik, I trust you."

Hesitantly, we came together and familiar, forgotten warmth washed over me. A soft moan escaped my mouth as we began to move in a dance as old as time itself. There had been a moment when I had braced myself, my body almost expecting to be ravished and torn again, yet the gentle movement and rising heat had quickly dissolved it. Those memories would not assault me now amidst soft moans, sweet caresses, and whispers of love as we entwined beneath the sheets.

In the peaceful aftermath, I lay in my husband's arms as his hand gently rested over our growing child. His eyes were kind, yet intense as his breath and lips occasionally kissed my cheek. Lying beside Erik at night was comforting and sweet, but there was a certain kind of intimacy in the contact of bare skin that I had missed.

Lazily I turned to face Erik, smiling upon him as his eyes reflected the dancing candlelight.

"Thank you, Erik."

* * *

My face contorted, wincing with pain as another contraction tore through my body. For hours now I had been laying on a hospital bed, gasping in agony as I had been like this and again I grasped Erik's hand, desperate for any form of release. At last, after nine months, the arrival of our son had come, yet I wished that there were a much less painful way of greeting him. 

"That's it Meg, give me your pain. You're doing fine, dear."

"What's your definition of fine!" I growled, frustrated with labor. Yet another contraction pierced me and I could not help but notice that they were coming with greater frequency. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to fight back and be strong. I was glad that Erik was there. After all, this was his child too and I needed him to be here now more than ever.

"She's nearly ready now," the nurse said and my mind gave a cry of joy. Gradually the contractions built up to a climax and I wondered if I would survive the ordeal.

"Push Meg!" Erik instructed as my grip on his hand tightened.

I pushed with all of my strength, groaning in frustration as I fell back again.

"I can see the baby's head," the nurse cried.

"You're nearly there dear, push harder," Erik said.

"I'M TRYING!" I cried out. Erik certainly had an easy job right now.

I pushed and pushed again, feeling as though I was no closer to the end of the delivery then when I started. Tears streamed down my face as contractions ripped my body apart.

"Almost there Meg, just one more push!" Erik cried.

In my last attempt, I screamed as I pushed one last time. In a second heaven and hell seemed to flash before my eyes. There was one moment of ethereal silence before a baby's cry pierced the room. My son was here at last. I breathed a sigh of relief and fell back onto the bed as tears and sweat dripped down my face. Erik's grip on my hand soon matched mine from before and he graciously kissed my cheek.

"You were wonderful darling. Rest, love."

It was not long after our son was cleaned off and wrapped into a blanket before he was placed into my arms. When I first held him, all of the frustration and pain I underwent in his delivery no longer mattered as he stole my breath away. Here he was, a living, breathing creation of our love.

Hesitantly I saw Erik lean over. "Is he… alright?"

"See for yourself," I whispered happily.

More tears fell as Erik's own eyes softened and grew moist as he looked into the bundle of blankets. A small, perfect, pink little face with wisps of blond hair lay wrapped within his swaddling cloth. For a brief moment, his eyes opened for the first time, revealing bright, dazzling blue orbs nearly identical to his father's.

"He's beautiful Erik. Do you want to hold him?"

"Are you sure? What if I hurt him?"

"He's your son Erik. He trusts you."

Carefully I passed the little boy into Erik's waiting arms. My heart swelled with pride as he held his son for the first time. Tears proceeded to spill over his cheeks as the tiny babe curled up in his arms. Erik turned to me, looking as though he could burst with happiness.

"Never… never had I ever thought that this would happen. Meg…" he whispered before tears choked his voice and kissed my cheek.

"It's alright dear, I know."

* * *

Not long after our first son, Christian Giry was born, my little family settle into a house just outside Rouen. Though it was hard for me to leave Paris, my home and my beginnings, we also left behind our sufferings, pain, and worst memories. It has been six years since then. I know that my memories of the brothel will never truly leave me, for there are still rare nights when I awake to those nightmares, but they are only the shadows of a long forgotten past. 

Our new home was a decent sized house with four bedrooms, leaving enough room for a family. Though we were not able to get an organ like the one left underneath the Opera, Erik was more than delighted to have a fine grand piano sit in the foyer. Christian soon found a love for music as well as his father taught him.

As I fed Madeline, our eight-month-old daughter, I listened to Erik teach Christian how to play "Ode to Joy". The poor boy was getting frustrated as he tried to conquer the eighth notes.

"I can't get it father! My fingers won't listen to me!"

"I know it's difficult, but practice makes perfect. Just give it one more try."

His little face scrunched up with determination and concentration. Christian began the song again, determinedly keeping up with the tapping noise Erik made to keep him on tempo. Triumphantly, he finished the song.

"I did it!"

"See, I knew you had it in you," Erik said, proudly hugging his son before Christian scurried off to play outside.

"Well done, Maestro," I applauded.

"I knew he had it in him. He just needed to try a little harder," he replied, picking Madeline up and gently swinging her around, causing her to giggle with delight before sitting down besides me.

"To think that you were afraid to have children. They love you Erik, and so do I."

"None of this would be possible without you Meg. You've given me happiness that I never even dreamed possible."

"It's strange how fate works. We saved each other Erik. Look how far we've come. Happiness is ours forever."

* * *

**Well, I hoped you liked it please, please review because I would love you all if I made 200 reviews! And now, here is a cheesy little poem that I wrote one day out of boredom that I though summarized this story.**

_The Nothing I've Become_

When everything I've worked for  
is stolen in a flash,  
my mother stressed and dying,  
my happiness in ash.

Turned away to darkness.  
Sold my body to live.  
Made a vow to kill one man:  
Don't forget and don't forgive.

Imprisoned by a phantom,  
taken away from light.  
Death becomes my only way  
to escape unending night.

Once so cold and brutal,  
now so warm with love.  
The angel thought to be from hell  
is a cherub from above.

When body, heart, soul and mind  
at last unite as one,  
two heart have found salvation  
from the nothing we'd become.

**Well, now that Nothing I've Become is over, I do have some projects I want to work on. The next thing I post will probably be an R/M story I've been working on called Collide. However, if I make Jesus Christ Superstar, this story might not even begin posting until Christmas break or even as late as March when the show will be over. However, on a lighter note, I have been working on a Christmas E/M one shot (no lemons this time either!) called Secret Santas, which should be up before the holidays end. Thanks for your support!

* * *

**

**Review Replies**

_Chapter 15_

**ThePhantomsShadow**: Yay! I'm so glad you liked that one. I worked so hard on that one. I revised bits of it forever. I was really trying to get it as romantic and sensual as possible so I'm glad you thought it was like that! Yes, school is annoying, but I actually have good classes too. Junior year has been fun so far. Thanks for your review!

**Emily singing reflection**: Haha, ya, this one was a little more intimate that my last lemon, but I decided to take advantage of that M rating. I'm glad you liked it though! Don't worry, I should be safe with this one. I've been basically saving everything on the website so there is no track of it on the computer and even if my parents do know that I have a account, they don't know my penname or password, so I'm safe. Thanks for your review!

**scorpiogirl16**: Boz! (glomps) Yay, I'm glad you liked it, but what did you have against my "god you are exquisite" line! I was proud of that one! eh, nevermind. you'll probably be happy about chapter 16, even though it is a bit more low key.

**HPROXMYSOX**: YAY! Omg I'm so glad you liked it! I'm flattered! I'm just happy you got that effect because I really really wanted to show how much they love each other and make it as romantic and sensual as possible. Thanks so much for your review!

* * *

_Chapter 16 Replies_

**ThePhantomsShadow**: Yes, little phantom baby is on the way. I mean, after Meg and Erik have been together for nearly every night after they've been married, how could she possibly not get pregnant. But of course, as you've found out, things have taken a very nasty turn for them.

**Emily singing reflection**: Don't worry, no one is going to die. And I'm sorry I made you worry about them so much. Well, now you have found out what happens. I'm sorry its not very happy. But things will get better ;) . I'm glad you like my story so much, especially since I wasn't very happy about chapter 16 and 18, but I think that 18 is better.

**meeka**: haha yes! can't wait until I get to that stuff. Erik would be such an awesome father (and of course an even better lover). Thanks for your review.

**Darth Squishy**: Ya, i know that chapter wasn't so great. I was just kinda doing whatever for that one and just kinda did whatever. but don't worry, things get so much better in chapter 18.

**RoseDesEnfers**: Aw, really! (blushes) I'm flattered, especially since I wasn't really happy with that one. Thanks for your review.

**I Love Gerry**: Yay! I'm glad you still liked that chapter. I've been having issues lately about trying to make stuff longer. Thanks for your review.

**FFAMasquerade2005**: I'm glad you still thought it was good. I'm sorry these have been so short but I just haven't been able to think of enough stuff. I hope you liked my little evil surprise.

**Charity**: Ya, I suppose it's a little soon, but then again, Erik and Meg have been together for like every single night and more than that so there is like no possible way for Meg not to get pregnant. Thanks for your review.

**Nameless Waif**: Ya, I suppose that the whole morning sickness thing was a little obvious. I think that the only person who could possibly be oblivious to it was and is Erik. And Erik does indeed get happier, even though he does get murderous after Meg gets taken away.

* * *

_Chapter 17 Replies_

**ThePhantomsShadow**: Yes, I am terribly mean to Meg. Life really has its ups and downs for her. However, despite the fact that she is getting treated like dirt, she is not really alone (hint). I was actually considering making Erik her first client, but I figured that it is going to take him a little time to figure out what really happened and then find the right whorehouse, so, for the time being, Meg is just gonna have to suffer. I'm glad you liked that chapter. Thanks for your review!

**Darth Squishy**: Hehe, I get it! Well, there are some surprises still left. I hope that one was a little better from 16. Thanks for your review.

**whispering-voices**: Yay! I'm glad you liked that chapter. Thanks for your review!

**I Love Gerry**: Ya, the beginning certainly was different from the end. It was kind of wierd though to imagine snow when I'm getting steamed in school. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for your review!

**Emily singing reflection**: Yes, I know that I was incredibly evil, and for I while I still am. Thanks for your review.

**Nameless Waif**: Haha, wow, I'm sorry! I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say that we have not seen the last of Erik. As for the comment about Meg with a chainsaw, well, I can just say that it would end up being pretty awesome. Madame Bourais' blood and guts would be all over the floor. It would be pretty funny to see Meg chucking a chainsaw around. Sorry about the cliffie though. Thanks for your review and see you in Geometry!

* * *

_Chapter 18 Replies_

**Emily singing reflection: **Omg yes! Joseph is awesome. I just couldn't resist using that song. True, it probably would make her more depressed, but for some reason singing depressed songs when I am sad always makes me feel better because I'm just weird like that.

**Nameless Waif:** Haha, ya, watching Joseph in religion was basically what started my obsession with that show. I even went out and got the movie after that. And the idea of Meg with a chainsaw is so amusing! See you in geometry.

**Angel of Night**: Oooh, I like your penname. I'm glad you liked that chapter, especially the little song. Thanks so much for your review!

**ThePhantomsShadow:** Ya, I admit, I have been pretty mean to Meg lately, but don't worry, I won't leave her miserable forever! I'm glad you liked this chappie!

**FFAMasquerade2005:** Don't worry, I won't leave Meg there forever. I do have to be nice to her once in a while.

**Darth Vadar:** Lol, don't worry. I definitely will not leave you guys hanging because I know myself how annoying it is to follow a story and then it just stops randomly. Thanks for your review!

* * *

_Chapter 19 Reviews_

**ThePhantomsShadow: **Ya, it is nice to have them back together again. I really wanted to write some more stuff with Erik in it and I love doing EM fluff so I couldn't bear to keep them apart any longer. And I'm so glad you liked the chainsaw. My dear friend Nameless Waif, who often schemes of little things in her review gave me that idea and it was just too good to ignore. I'm glad you like the way I write Erik. He is so much fun to write, mostly because you can interpret him in so many ways. And I can't thank you enough for your lovely review on Seduction By Cards. That was the nicest review yet!

**I Love Gerry:** Yes, Erik and Meg are back together because I was sick of writing all of that depressing stuff and they had to be together for the holidays! I'm glad you loved the little thing at the end. You have no idea how much fun that was to write.

**Nameless Waif:** Omg 2 reviews! I must say that you have outdone yourself! I can't believe you read it twice! Omg, I loved writing the part where Erik was punjabing people. Dark, murderous Eriks are very fun. Lol, omg yes, I remember that story. it scared me! And everyone loved the little chainsaw part! I can' thank you enough for that interesting little idea. See ya in geometry and good luck with that test we have to take on Wed.

**MC:** Ya, I couldn't keep Erik and Meg apart any longer. I'm glad you liked that chapter. Thanks for your review.

**Halay Macrae:** Aw, thanks for your review! I'm flattered! I'm so glad you liked the little "If I Can't Love Her" songfic chappie. It was definitely one of my favorites.

**meeka:** I'm glad you liked the ending. Ya, it was pretty depressing, which is mainly why I got Erik to rescue Meg. All of those chapters were making me depressed.

**Emily singing reflection:** I'm glad you liked that chapter. As for the little added part on the side, I just couldn't resist. The idea of Meg just slaughtering Madame Bourais with a chainsaw and just like killing everything was just far to amusing to resist. As for Camille, I actually haven't thought about having her reappear again, but who knows, maybe she will show up again.

**phicaddictdpiratephantomprsnya:** Yay! A new reviewer! I'm glad you like my story, especially the little bit with Meg and the chainsaw.

**darklady5289:** Yay! New reviewers are always welcome! I'm so glad you like my story and the chainsaw part! Also, thanks for the fav on Seduction By Cards.

* * *

_Chapter 20 replies_

**darklady5289**: yay! i'm so glad you liked that chapter. It took me forever to figure out how to get it right. Don't worry, there are at least 2 chapters left.

**Soprano of the Labyrint**: I see you changed your penname, very cool. Sweet, I'm a soprano 2! Ya, I was getting sick of all the depressing stuff, it had to get happy eventually. Thanks for your support.

**phicaddictdpiratephantomprsnya: **Thanks, I'm glad you like my Erik. True, the dark killer side of him is pretty hot, but I love making him the sweet guy we all know he is on the inside.

**mercygirl16:** hey boz, thanks for the review! still more to come!

**Nameless Waif**: Ya, twenty is a big number, considering that this fic is now twice as long as 2 Hearts. The reviews make me so happy. I feel loved! I have no idea what happened to the hits though because I logged on recently and for some reason all of them got deleted. : ( I'm so glad you liked the dream part. It was so much fun to write! Again, I love your dialogue. I think one of these days I'm going to go back and post them in the appropriate chapters. They absolutely crack me up! Yay! Christine getting fried! She better not come near Erik while Meg's around! See you in geometry!


End file.
